The Changing Seasons

I love fall. I always have. I look forward to it ~ perfect temperatures, yellow school buses, leaves changing colors. I enjoy learning, so fall represented the return to that which I loved.

As I grow older, I love summer. Even more perfect temperatures, long days with my children, the sunshine on our faces...

So, this year, I find myself unabashedly kicking and flailing to hang on to summer. Perhaps, it is the impending beginning of kindergarten for my older daughter, Emily. Wasn't I just worried she didn't talk early enough? Wasn't it just yesterday I thought she'd never outgrow her fear of the ocean? When did she get so tall? I was there, watching, enjoying, taking it all in...but it went so quickly. She is a lovely child, face all aglow with a smile to melt the hardest hearts and a joyful temperament, that I simply adore. And, she is going to Kindergarten; it is the end of an era.

Yes, I know it is also the beginning of an era, but my stubborn personality all equipped with that mechanism that makes change so hard for me will not allow me to fully let go. I know, I have to. Usually this time of year, we are all set to journey to our vacation, not this year, we have a child in school now ~ she needs to begin Kindergarten fresh and learn about her new friends and new teacher. Her teacher is wonderful. We had the pleasure of meeting her several evenings ago and were thrilled with her presence and love for our child.

Emily, gregarious and sometimes even boisterous, became shy and her bottom lip quivered, "Mommy, I don't know anyone in this class." at which point I almost scooped her up in my arms and ran her from that building assuring her I'd never make her go back again. Her teacher approached, took her gently in her arms and made her way (with our child) to another little girl and they met...and hugged...and giggled and assured me that it will be okay, much to my chagrin, it will be okay.

I want her to grow to be independent, kind, happy and confident. I need to teach her it is okay to grow, to venture out. Emily will be sucessful and that is what every parent wants for their child. It just feels like it washed over us so fast. My mother advises it may pick up speed from here - I cannot imagine! But it shed light on my own mother, who enjoyed us so much and often lamented it went all too fast - I usually laughed or scoffed. Now, I get it. Wasn't I just in pigtails getting on a bus for my first day of school - I am certain she would say, it feels like just yesterday...