Monday, September 3, 2007

The Changing Seasons

I love fall. I always have. I look forward to it ~ perfect temperatures, yellow school buses, leaves changing colors. I enjoy learning, so fall represented the return to that which I loved.

As I grow older, I love summer. Even more perfect temperatures, long days with my children, the sunshine on our faces...

So, this year, I find myself unabashedly kicking and flailing to hang on to summer. Perhaps, it is the impending beginning of kindergarten for my older daughter, Emily. Wasn't I just worried she didn't talk early enough? Wasn't it just yesterday I thought she'd never outgrow her fear of the ocean? When did she get so tall? I was there, watching, enjoying, taking it all in...but it went so quickly. She is a lovely child, face all aglow with a smile to melt the hardest hearts and a joyful temperament, that I simply adore. And, she is going to Kindergarten; it is the end of an era.

Yes, I know it is also the beginning of an era, but my stubborn personality all equipped with that mechanism that makes change so hard for me will not allow me to fully let go. I know, I have to. Usually this time of year, we are all set to journey to our vacation, not this year, we have a child in school now ~ she needs to begin Kindergarten fresh and learn about her new friends and new teacher. Her teacher is wonderful. We had the pleasure of meeting her several evenings ago and were thrilled with her presence and love for our child.

Emily, gregarious and sometimes even boisterous, became shy and her bottom lip quivered, "Mommy, I don't know anyone in this class." at which point I almost scooped her up in my arms and ran her from that building assuring her I'd never make her go back again. Her teacher approached, took her gently in her arms and made her way (with our child) to another little girl and they met...and hugged...and giggled and assured me that it will be okay, much to my chagrin, it will be okay.

I want her to grow to be independent, kind, happy and confident. I need to teach her it is okay to grow, to venture out. Emily will be sucessful and that is what every parent wants for their child. It just feels like it washed over us so fast. My mother advises it may pick up speed from here - I cannot imagine! But it shed light on my own mother, who enjoyed us so much and often lamented it went all too fast - I usually laughed or scoffed. Now, I get it. Wasn't I just in pigtails getting on a bus for my first day of school - I am certain she would say, it feels like just yesterday...

6 comments:

Danielle said...

Emily is such a beautiful little girl, and I can tell that she is very joyous and full of life. She's still SO young. I am sure she seems older, but remember...you have LOTS of time. Just keep treasuring every moment. Focus on the here and now. Enjoy those girls like I know you will.

Time does fly by though, doesn't it? I was JUST in vegas for my 21st bday. I remember it like it was yesterday. I feel like I just graduated high school. I will be 25 in 2 weeks. How did THAT happen?

Debbie said...

As a mother of a 25 yr. old and 21 yr.old I can attest that it does go by fast!!! One day they are going to kindergarden and the next they are graduating from school and going off to college. Cherish each and every moment you have with them. Savor the journey of teaching them about life, change and how to grow up.

Lori said...

Oh Heather, this made me all emotional...it was VERY hard for me to let Ethan go to school because I knew that from there on, it would just roll from one year to the next, and there's no stopping it...I knew when it was all said and done, that he would be graduating high school..that's hard to get my mind around.
I loved this post and can really relate to wanting to run out of that school. She'll be ok.
You'll be ok. :)

Angie said...

What a beautiful, heartfelt post. I can so relate to what you are feeling. I remember when both of my boys were little, my mother would always tell me to enjoy every moment because it goes so fast. I was thinking...she has lost her mind. Now, I want those moments back so I can relish them again, remember more and write down everything. Oh well....now there are just new moments to relish and I do!
I hope Emily has a GREAT year in kindergarten!!
Enjoy EVERY moment they really do go by quickly. ;)

Kimber said...

Hope Emily loves kindergarten! Where does the time go?

Kim

sheryl said...

I can so relate to this post Heather! Where does time go?!!! My older two are in middle school and it does seem like only yesterday that they were in kindergarten. Linzi starts preschool tomorrow and I am having a very hard time with that one! She will only go for two mornings a week, but letting go for the first time is always the hardest. I love the way you describe Emily, she sounds so delightful and she will just love kindergarten, it's mommy who needs the hugs and prayers!

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