Silence

"And you will be brought before governors and kings, for My sake, as a witness to bear testimony before them and to the nations.  Do not be anxious about how or what you are to speak; for what you are to say will be given to you in that very hour and moment.  Take no thought of how you will speak, the Spirit of your Father speaketh through you."  Matthew 10:18-20 AMP

Changes.
I do not fare well with change.
I know it needs to happen and I know my heart REQUIRES change for me to grow closer to Jesus and live more in His likeness and less in my flesh.

But, simply put, I don't like it.

And I like it even less when there is silence in the midst of change. Ugh!

Last year, I was blessed when the Lord reached down and offered me an opportunity to attend the She Speaks conference.  Eager, anxious and filled with trepidation, I embarked on a completely new, completely vulnerable experience; one that required my heart to be pliable, and my ears to be completely open to what He would speak to me.  Assuming I would come home with notebooks filled with practical writing strategies and much needed motivation, I was surprised when my "take-away" had very little to do with writing and everything to do with relationship. I did come home with practical strategies, but I also arrived home with a revised heart and a new perspective on accepting His will in every circumstance.

So, I prayed fervently, quietly, passionately about my relationship with the Lord and what he expected of me.  I also prayed about what He wanted me to write. And THAT is when it happened.

The silence.

That deafening sound you hear in your spirit when the Lord is quiet.

Reminiscent of  a starry night of summer, fireflies darting about, the sweet smell of cut grass and chlorine, you stand in the yard breathing in the hot air while crickets chirp about.  Aside from the critters that lurk, the world is silent.

Transitions.  I knew my original blog Our Little Ladybugs was ready to be retired.  After all, the ladybugs are not so little anymore.  (sniffle)  And I felt God calling me to a different type of written expression.  While I am still highly passionate about adoption and issues related to adoption, my wings are being stretched and the broader topics of motherhood, marriage, friendship and education jumped to the forefront of my thoughts. Additionally, our littlest ladybug is growing quite nicely and there are pieces to her story that are hers, not mine to share, so I respect that and accept that the Lord convicted my heart to move forward.

Thus, Beals on Wheels was born.  The first time I decided to post, I sat for almost two hours blankly staring at the computer screen with only one word floating aimlessly before me, dull.  D-U-L-L
A harsh reality became evident, I have nothing to share.

Nothing. Nada. Zilch. Zero. Noth-ing!

Lord, tell me...show me...give me SOMETHING! And strangely, he remained silent. My lonely little blog sat, unattended and certainly unwritten upon.

Until now.  I have read the book of Matthew before, several times.  But lo and behold, during my quiet time, the words leapt off the page and assured me I would never have anything to write about, but the Lord would allow His words to flow through me.

So, as I ready for my second She Speaks Conference, I rejoice in this special word He gave me reminding me, ever so gently, as He always does, that He will guide my typing hands or speaking mouth to speak through me, if I allow Him to.

Is there a special word He has for YOU today?  Have you spent some time with Him to find out?  I encourage you to open His Word and enjoy that sweet time of fellowship.

Be encouraged,

The Little Things

I was casually walking through a favorite store when a plaque jumped off the shelf and accosted me in my tracks.  I have seen the plaque many times or at least seen the saying without pausing. Not once. Ever.

I am still not sure what made this day different, but it was.  It said,

Enjoy the little things for one day you may look back and realize they were the big things.

Simple, huh?  It is in theory, but in reality I had to stop and think about all the little things that have made our life such a happy one.  (read: happy, NOT perfect!)  Tea parties, singing in the car, funny faces, folding laundry together, devotionals, playing "Make Me Laugh", giggles, tears, lunch with my mom, dancing in the rain...so.many.things!  Little things...I thought about our little things, two precious gifts entrusted to our care; loaned because God knew we'd care for them with His guidance.  Our bigger little thing, already ten years old. 

I closed my eyes, breathing in the moment and tried desperately to remember every tea party, which animal sat in which seat and did we have lemonade or grape juice for our tea?  Hot chocolate? When was the last time I did that with our smaller little thing?

I thought about my mom.  When my dad would travel, she and I would get hoagies, watch horror films and turn them off ten minutes into the movie, exchanging for a great romance or drama. We'd go shopping and have lunch together...I was her little thing and here I am all grown up.  Her words pierced me, "Enjoy this time...it goes so fast."  I can honestly say my mom was one who enjoyed the little things. She still does. 

So, the other day when sweet little Hannah ran up the steps and "found me" folding laundry in the bedroom, she issued a plea.  A square box cradled in the nook of her arm, she opened those big brown eyes and quietly asked me to play a game.

It's the little things...the wash will wait.  Hannah won't.  She will never be that day of six again.Never.

So, we played...I pray it remains in my memory bank tucked away with all of the little things that I am SURE are really the BIG THINGS!

She Reflects

Over the past few years, one of my dearest friends shared her desire for any of her friends who love to write to join her at the She Speaks conference in North Carolina.  The conference, a labor of sheer love executed by the women of Proverbs 31 Ministries is chock full of sessions on writing and speaking.  Competant, "been-there-done-that" speakers and writers employ meaningful content on how we share our message with the right audience and how to take next steps with book deals, magazine articles and devotionals.  Ladies, I saw Lysa terKuerst up close and personal! She spoke to ME! (well, she spoke to 650 of us :) and had the elevator doors NOT closed, I would have stammered how much I liked her SHOES! Far more importantly, I got to see first hand the authenticity with which these women serve the Lord they love. 

With a grand adoration for writing (and reading), I am an obvious candidate for such a conference, but God kept making it quite clear that certain financial obligations took precedence over this conference.  Each year my sadness increased and my writing dwindled as I lost hope for how God would have me use my passion for writing to further His kingdom.

"Wait for the Lord; be strong and take heart and wait for the Lord."
~ Psalm 27:14

Part of the significance in this being "the year" lies in the appreciation I have because of the years I had to wait.  Our youngest daughter, adopted from China dealt us a wait of  two plus years to bring her home...perhaps the experience, if possible, was sweeter, because the Lord had us wait for His perfect timing.  We had to trust He knew just the right moment, hour, day. Though wildly different situations, that same appreciation for the wait exists. It is okay when God has us...wait.

And so, this being "the year", I and four girlfriends loaded into a big ol' SUV and had ourselves a ball travelling eight hours to our destination.  God provided safety and travelling mercies, rest and laughter and fellowship of the finest sort. He ensured our children were cared for in our absence.  God even rescheduled our family vacation so that I could attend the conference without missing that special downtime with my husband and children...only God, only His time.

The conference whizzed by in a blur.  A cacophony of worship, workshops, new ideas, prayer and friendship blended together for a picture perfect weekend.  My dear, dear friend blessed me with one of the most special experiences of my life.  Her encouragement to attend and her belief that I belonged there, were quite simply a wellspring of love.  It was exciting to encourage one another as we learned about our "voices" and where God may use us most.  I found myself on many occasions asking the question..."Just what IS my MESSAGE?"

I think God may have me on that waiting list again and I am learning that is really okay, because his timing could not be more impeccable.

As we departed to gain re-entry into our regular lives, our small travelling group discussed our "take-aways".  I would have thought that my take-aways would be technical in nature, dealing with the mechanics of writing and the strategies I could use to better my craft.  While, I gained a bunch of those and am still mulling them over, my biggest take-away was much more personal.  Relationship.  During the waiting time, God was growing our relationship. I saw how He desired I be committed to him differently than I was four years ago when I first heard about She Speaks.

Sometimes, serving Him is in the waiting.  And sometimes we have to wait to see what he has in store...I can't wait to see what's next :)

In my Sister's Shoes...

I interrupt this regular post to suggest you visit my friend Sharon at her blog. Sharon is a gifted writer, among many other things, and she recently was featured in Lysa TerKeurst's brand new book, "Unglued".  Lysa has a way of writing that encourages girlfriends of all walks to hang out and deepen our relationships with God and with each other.  She gracefully shares truths in a way that is not only receiveable but also do-able!  In celebration of this wonderful new book, Sharon is hosting a fabulous give-away...please, please do not miss this opportunity to be one of the first folks to have this phenomenal book in your collection of what you are reading this summer!  Stop by, share a comment with Sharon and be entered to receive a signed copy of  "Unglued"!

Now, onto a LONG overdue post...
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"And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love Him, who have been called according to His purpose."  Romans 8:28

We find her clip clopping around the house; her pretty little feet tucked into her sister's shoes.  She laughs wildly and holds up a foot for me to see.  They fight like typical siblings.  The two of them, as different as the yin and yang of their haircolor, are the differences in their personalities.

"She is touching me!" 

"That is MINE." (with a telltale whine)

"STTTTOOOOOOPPPP!!" (If I hear this one one more time, I very well may require intervention!)

And still, despite their differences, the younger of the two will capture every opportunity to slip on her sister's shoes and proudly strut, desiring to be just a smaller version of her elder counterpart.

In May, our older daughter, Emily was anticipating many milestones.  Her first Reading Olympics, multiple recitals, school concert, her tenth birthday! The Reading Olympics and school dance recital fell the same day, just one day prior to her tenth birthday.

Em woke early, which I quickly attributed to excitement.  It wasn't until I stood and watched her that morning that I knew something was wrong.  Em struggled to eat her little bowl of cheerios and when she looked up at me, I could see her flushed cheeks.  A whole year of healthy ushered out in just a moment of fever, on the worst possible day of the year.

Her eyes knowingly plead her case, wishing away the warmth that threatened to ruin a year's worth of hard work.  I believe we took Em's temperature 113 times that morning, each time, praying that God would change the thermometer.  A normally antagonistic little sister, Hannah watched silently. This was the day of her FIRST dance recital. 

102.7 was the first attempt and 104.4 was the final attempt...that fever wasn't going anywhere.  So, with a heavy heart, I called school to let them know Em would not be there that day.  We had the sad job of telling Emily  we could not send her to Reading Olympics or the dance recital with a fever peaking just over 104 degrees. I assured her that her hard work was not in vain.  These are the moments I wish our parenting handbook was delivered WITH the child!

That evening Hannah joyfully donned her costume.  She was dancing to a beautiful version of the Lord's Prayer. Em put her costume on "as a symbol of solidarity" she said.  I was rather impressed that with eyes heavy with fever and a terrible headache she mustered the energy to be excited for her little sister.  They posed for pictures and as Hannah was leaving, Em smiled, waved and told her to do as well as she had done in rehearsal.  My mama's heart was conflicted.  As sad as I was to leave Emily home with her grandmother, I was beaming with joy for Hannah.  I was elated that in an important moment, these two sisters were compassionate to one another, Em setting aside her disappointment and Hannah able to receive that her sister felt badly about missing two such important events.
Because I work at the school, one of my roles this year was to assist the dance teacher with the production.  So, there I sat, in the front, anticipating my baby's first time on a stage.  She did not disappoint.  It was so exciting to see Hannah confident and worshipful.  There was no doubt that she served the Lord with her whole heart.

 It was what she did next that really blessed me, though.

The dancers were nearing the time for the finale and the smaller children were to take their places in the front, down low.  The dance teacher and I realized that Em was partnered with another girl high up on the stage to wave a gold banner, the effect simply would not be the same without Em.  So, in a quick attempt to fill Emily's shoes, I motioned to Hannah to take Emily's place.  Now, Hannah is a tiny little bit of a girl and she had to maneuver up that stage in between the junior high girls and get to another dancer and partner with them.  It was obvious how closely she must have watched her sister, because with great precision, she got to her mark, made eye contact with the other girl and that banner was waved!

It may sound simple, but more than anything, Hannah had honored Emily.  Her small frame not quite able to do exactly what her sister did, she tried her best and the product was exceptional.  When the dancers were finished and Hannah ran to me, she said, "Emily would be so proud." 

Sisters.

"Sisters are different flowers from the same garden" ~Anonymous
On a normal day, their battle cries would sound loud and clanging, not this day.  This day, they chose to quietly love on one another.

I am certain Em would not have chosen to be sick and miss the Reading Olympics and the dance recital.  But, I am also certain that God's special design for that day was best for her.  And perhaps, best for this conflicted mama.  Often, the Lord chooses events and circumstances we would NEVER choose for ourselves. We can be assured that what the Lord allows in our life is surely to build His kingdom. 

Hannah's gentle act of love allowed us a window to her heart and sweet honor to her sister.  It was a blessing amidst uncommon circumstances that I will not soon forget!

"Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers a multitude of sins."  1 Peter 4:8

Visiting Friends

Isn't it fun to get together, catch up and spend some time with the people you love?

Definitely!

Even in our blogging community, we get those opportunities!  My dear friend, Sharon, who is first and foremost a dedicated daughter to her heavenly Father is also a wife, mommy, sister, daughter, friend and a gifted writer.  Sharon knows how to employ just the right mix of fun and relatability into her sharing of God's truths.  A dedicated student of His Word, Sharon ministers to the heart of many and is a great encourager.  She asked some friends to guest post on her blog, His Table for Two.  Please take some time to visit Sharon and her friends :)  Leave a comment, not necesarily on my post, but on Maria's, Jenn's and scroll through to read some of Sharon's beautiful writing.  A link to her article published in June in Proverbs 31 Woman (the magazine!!!!) is in her sidebar, as well as a link featuring Lysa TerKeurst's new book, Unglued, which Sharon is featured in. Feel free to visit Sharon's other blog, also... Joy in the Truth.

Sharon and I on a little adventure we took this past fall.

It has been a long time since I have posted here to my own blog.  Personally, the time to write quality posts just hasn't been there, but I pray often that the Lord will open up that time, so that I can return to writing, a deep passion for me.  Just recently, I took a walk by myself and as I strolled along, I felt the Lord say very clearly, "go back to writing!".  So, prayerfully this won't be a single little post that sits here a looooooonnnggg time, but the beginning of a committment to share again.  Feel free to hold me accountable!

Hoping you are enjoying a wonderful summer day!

"From the fullness of His grace, we have received one blessing after another." John 1:16



  

The Quiet Teacher

When you are going through something hard and wonder where God is, remember the teacher is always quiet during a test. ~ Anonymous



Yes, this little ditty was posted to a friend's status recently. However, it prompted me to pray and think about the truth in this simple statement. Like a roaring ocean, we stand at the place where the waves crash hearing the boom of God's great creation. Yet, if we dive in, sinking below the surface, there is a hush, a quiet.

"Be still and know that I am God." Psalm 46:10

I can't help but wonder if this is God's will when He is quiet. Remember, the Lord is not absent or removed, just quiet. His desire is for us to dive beneath the surface, seek Him more fully and perhaps, rest in His contentment to be quiet.

"Love the Lord your God, listen to His voice, and hold fast to Him."
Deuteronomy 30:20

Sometimes when our lives present with the most noise, the greatest chaos, it is those times, we wait expectantly, hoping for a loud, thunderous resolution to whatever issue is taking us to our knees. Sometimes, it will require our patience, knowing that the Lord numbers our steps carefully and protects us accordingly. If He is silent, it is in our best interest.

“I wait for the Lord, my soul waits, and in his word I put my hope” Psalm 130: 5

As a behavior therapist, often the louder a student becomes, the quieter I become. The student will eventually meet my voice with their own, changing the dynamic of the interaction and the intimacy of the conversation. As we become content to connect with God quietly, we increase the intimacy of our relationship and dive below the surface of our typical intermingling with our precious Lord. Like the classroom, the children ask question upon question...the teacher guides and sometimes reminds the students, "It's okay, you already know this...I have prepared you." God loves us so much that He has prepared us, His quiet is in love.

Next time an issue is pressing and your repeated pleas yield little conversation, keep close the heartfelt faith that God loves us enough that He has prepared us and that He may be quiet but is never far away. He is always right there.

Baby Love

In honor of Valentine's Day, this is my post for Titus 2 In Action...true love, real love...not candy or jewelry or flowers...I am blessed to know what real love feels like.

"Dear friends, let us continue to love one another, for love comes from God. Anyone who loves is born of God and knows God. But anyone who does not love does not know God ~ for God is love. God showed how much he loved us by sending his only Son into the world so that we might have eternal life through him. This is real love. It is not that we loved God, but that he loved us and sent his son as a sacrifice to take away our sins." 1 John 4:7-10




It was a simple sticky note.
Yellow.
Stuck to my Bible on my nightstand. And it said,

"I'm not your baby anymore. But I still love you, mama."

I rubbed it gently between my fingers fighting my hot cheeks and imminent tears, as I grappled with the reality that my sweet kindergartener was beginning to show her independence and ability. I thought back to earlier in the day when I lovingly and with great affection answered my youngest with the words, "Yes, baby." Obviously, my gently used moniker for our little one left her feeling less than great. Compelled to tell me the truth, she left the note to make her point. How often does God point out the truth, painful as it is...always ending with, BUT I STILL LOVE YOU. A precious message and life lesson I received from my tender child that day.

This child...a child whom love escaped for quite a time. Living in an orphanage the first eleven months of her life, thrust into a new home, new world, new family. Not yet ready to love with full abandon, she eased her way into committment and attachment. Slowly, like a flower opening petal by petal, she grew and emerged, blossoming into the loving girl I now see. I adored her before I ever knew her; she had reason to doubt love. She has taught me daily about God's love...in the threshold of parenting, we can most closely feel that unconditional love God has shown us in the love we hold for our children. It is possibly one of the finest representations of that original love that we can find. He loved us before we loved Him. It is the simple truth.

As a toddler, our daughter held onto raw emotions, causing us to seek deeper, stronger, more passionately God's truths and how to parent her without shattering her beautiful spirit. The first time she uttered the words, "I love you Mama", she held my face in her little hands. She was two and a half and we were visiting my older daughter's school as they rehearsed for the winter concert. Literally, a choir of angels sang as she melted into my own frame. I have to believe that my rejoicing resembles that of the Lord's each time a new son or daughter receive Him lovingly into their hearts. Oh how He must dance!

May it be that in gladness, sadness, truthfulness, and life, we can accept God's instruction and guidance all the while knowing BUT HE STILL LOVES US.

"God showed his great love for us by sending Christ to die for us while we were still sinners." Romans 5:8

Merry Christmas!

Some December highlights to begin this post...

For to us a child is born,
to us a son is given,
and the government will be on his shoulders.
And he will be called
Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God,
Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace. Isaiah 9:6

As we entered the Christmas season and I worked with our school's enrichment classes, I was priviledged to share with them some of the eternal truths set forth by the birth of one small baby in the most unlikely of places. The children's enthusiasm and their curiosity blessed me as we reconnected with these precious events. We have heard the story so many times, that sometimes in our worldliness, certainly not purposely, but often mistakenly, we overlook pieces simply because we know it so well.

One of our school principal's said it eloquently when he said, "It just doesn't make sense and perhaps that makes it all that much more special." Our journey of faith begins in that very stable, a barn. A stinky, messy barn... where greatness came into the world. And as I shared with the students, it was not for one of us...it was for ALL of us.

So, this day...I wish you a Merry Christmas. A blessed, joyful day of celebrating the birth of our Savior. I pray you know Him and if by chance you don't, or you have a loved one who does not, leave me a message with your email. I will respond back to you privately.

All I really want for Christmas is for others to know Him and be freed by His love and grace. I am a child of the Almighty and thankful each and everyday for the mercies He showers upon His flock.

Blessings to you ~ and a very Merry Christmas!

A Few of My Favorite Things!

I wish that time was everlasting and I could get here more often to post, but alas, time slips away and I find that our dear friend Face*book has sneakily stolen my mojo for blogging. Well, that and parenting and being a good wife and working and food shopping and activities...and doctor appointments and cleaning and planning and...oh, you know you are so there! :)

There is a huge blessing my lack of time. God has bestowed upon us many to love and much to do. So in this post, I will attempt to share some really great links and update you on our lil' family.

First things first...some friends, Lisa, Diana and Stefanie have combined their amazing pool of efforts (what a super talented trio of mamas this is!)for an awe-inspiring fundraiser to bless some fantastic organizations for causes near and dear to our hearts. Please, please visit their blogs often to be part of the Fill Their Stockings event.


Secondly, I am a huge fan of Wild Olive Tees. If you have never visited, you really must! One of my online friends is gearing up to bring home "Little 9" and
"Little 10"! Wild Olive is famous for designing precious tees to help benefit families becoming families :) They are committed to sharing scripture that conveniently enough, you can wear! This link will allow you to visit Love them Home to assist with Amie's fundraiser or you can link from her page to the Wild Olive site.

Third...yes, there is a third! Just ordered some new hair bling for my cutie pies and want to send a shout out to Kimberley, who is an awesome friend and a magnificent business woman! Sophia Jane Boutique is a great place to visit!


On the home front, the girls are keeping us on our toes. I struggle with the reality of how that time thing is working against us and growing them up before our very eyes!


Kindergarten happens to be one of Hannah's favorite things. When she isn't doing her newest love...HOMEWORK!... She is loving dance class and gymnastics. She has been a faithful member of the sidelines for all of Emily's activities, so it is fun to watch her emerge and find her own voice and passion.


Em has morphed into our music-ista! I think I very well may hear her flute in my sleep. Though she is ready to begin her second basketball season, her true loves come in the forms of singing, dancing and flouting :) As she sashays onto the court, we definitely have to remind her to keep her eye on the ball!


Me? I am blessed to be a mama first and foremost, I have a job I love, a Bible Study that helps me to smooth out all those rough edges, I am reading the Bible in a year, which is exhilarating (if you ever considered doing this...please, don't wait...it is lifechanging!) I have been a Bible believing Christian all my life, but it is amazing how disciplining oneself to read and study His Word everyday has monumental impact. We are so fortunate to have good friends and family to love on us. My nephew will graduate from University of Maryland this spring. We got to see him march in the marching band a few weeks back. It was, of course, the coldest, rainiest day of the season, but it could not dampen my spirits when a guard permitted me down to the band entrance so I could snap this great pic of our Andrew!


As I glance around, house not decorated yet, laundry waiting to be folded, stray mail askew on the counter and dishes needing to be cleaned, I count my blessings for the beautiful ways my life is filled with joy. I am humbled by the magnitude of what this month holds for us. I pray for you an Advent season filled with miraculous surprises and sweet treasures.

Hoping to be back soon... :)

Get Out Your Mustard Seed!

He replied, "Because you have so little faith. I tell you the truth, if you have faith as small as a mustard seed, you can say to this mountain, 'Move from here to there' and it will move. Nothing will be impossible for you." Matthew 17:20


Emily loving on sweet Joshua James

Blessings to all of you who are praying for beautiful Joshua James...thank you! I wanted to provide a bit of an update. The short version is that Joshua is eating like a champion, completely loving his mommy and daddy and keeping them up at night. They have many doctor's appointments and much of their instruction will be "watch and wait". I am continuing to leave the details to the One who knows them all. But, please continue to pray and hold this precious family up.

Gerry and I have an easy, loving relationship. We were chatting today and another co-worker mentioned in those moments when the roller coaster dips deep into the bends and turns, we question our hearts...is my faith enough? Quite honestly, I think BECAUSE our faith is so deep, we know that God is capable of that which we cannot understand or comprehend.

I thought of the mustard seed my dad brought me when I was a little girl. He had gone to a Christian men's retreat and when he returned home, he handed to me a small package. Inside, was a lovely little necklace, a bubble with a tiny seed inside and inscribed with the words, "If you have faith as small as a mustard seed..."

Our faith is so much bigger than that mustard seed, but how comforting that if we have even that little bit of faith, mountains can be moved! I am anticipating the great things God is going to do in Joshua's life...get out your mustard seeds people and keep those prayers lifted high!

Joshua James

We cannot tell the exact moment a friendship is formed; as in filling a vessel drop by drop, there is at last a drop which makes it run over; so in a series of kindnesses, there is at last one that makes the heart run over.” ~ Author unknown

I cannot pinpoint the exact moment I knew our friendship was forever, but I do remember vividly a phone call that forever changed our story.

We were deep in the throes of preparing to travel for Hannah. We knew that there was potential for Rob to travel alone, so we prayed mightily for God to do something different. Gerry had been my dear friend for several years. She is a confidante, a sister in Christ and a sweet treasure to my days.

One evening, our phone rang and after careful consideration, Jim and Gerry felt God's calling to help our little family. With Gerry's blessing, Jim readied to travel to China, with my husband, a man he had met only once.

We knew immediately there would never be any way we could repay the debt of Jim embracing this journey and, at times, challenge.

__________________________________

Gerry and Jim and their children and spouses and grandchildren are family to us.

So,I am asking you to please pray. Pray for sweet Joshua James, Gerry and Jim's newest family member :)

Joshua James was born September 13 at 8 pounds 15 ounces. His beginning to his precious life has been a bit bumpy...God knows the details. Please pray for wisdom and discernment for doctors, nurses and medical practitioners who will see this beautiful boy during these early days of his life. Please pray for Brie and Josh, Joshua's parents (Gerry and Jim's daughter and son-in-law), pray for Gerry and Jim and Josh's parents, Tammy and Paul. Pray for aunts and uncles and cousins. As moms and dads go, even though this is their first child, Brie and Josh are rock stars...Brie had a very long labor and has leaned heavily on the Lord's strength to heal and transition beautifully into her role as mommy. Josh, a strong man of God, is taking excellent care of his wife and son...

Joshua James is loved beyond measure...Brie has given me permission to post this petition because she wants her amazing son covered in as much prayer as possible.

Please join me in adding Joshua James to your prayer journals, prayer ministries and personal prayers. He is a strong, beautiful child of the Almighty and we rejoice in his arrival! We adore you, sweet boy!

Update: Joshua James is home from the hospital!
Prayers for a seamless transition.

Locks of Love - Love those Locks

Picture snapped by Kate at Max & Mimi Photography this summer

Redheads, I have learned, have an interesting existence. Rarely do we head to the grocery store, a restaurant or a walk around the neighborhood without the telltale comment, "Oooh, I love your hair." Emily has learned to navigate these comments sometimes even ducking away from well meaning hands, anxious to touch her little head. She has learned to thank people graciously for their compliments, and she has learned how to answer probing questions with great integrity.

Her hair is somewhat of a trademark, a vital piece of what makes her "Em".

So many women, mature in years, approach Emily with a certain smile, wistful look or memory knocking heavily at the door of their heart. They carefully extend themselves to her, reaching for the fiery tresses and gently caress her soft locks reclaiming a piece of themselves, now lost in the white mass that has replaced their own crimson coiffe. For just a moment, they are nine or twelve or twenty two or even thirty five...and Em has learned to grant them this joy.

Perhaps, that is why the decision to cut her hair was difficult for her. She knew without doubt that she wanted to send her hair to Locks of Love in hopes of blessing a child suffering, however, when faced with the cape and the chair, she declined the first try, "I am just not ready." Perhaps, Like Samson, she felt her strength would be compromised lacking the length she became used to. I, too, struggled with the permanency of a shorter do. What if we missed it? How would we get that thick hair into a ponytail??? It seems like such a silly thing to be concerned with.

And it was. God's greatest lessons often come in the small things, the things we think are important or the unknown we fail to trust Him in. Emily learned a really great lesson as she stepped away from the scissors the first time and then prayed for the "right time". She woke one morning a few weeks later, "Today is it!"


This summer on the beach - BEFORE

In the chair!

Because her hair was SO long, and SO thick, they formed two ponytails

The new do coming to life...

The final product!

Emily sent a total of 13 and some inches to Locks of Love. They were able send both ponytails. I love that she made the committment to do this and I loved some of the valuable lessons she has learned during these three long years of growing it! We are crazy about her new shorter hairstyle and I will be honest, mornings are a whole lot happier now! :)

'Twas the Night Before Kindergarten

˜Twas the night before kindergarten and as they prepared,
kids were excited and a little bit scared.
They tossed and they turned about in their beds,
while visions of school supplies danced in their heads.
Erasers and crayons and pencils galore
were stuffed in their backpacks and set by the door.
Outfits were hung in closets with care,
knowing that kindergarten soon would be there.
In the morning it came school starts today!
Would the teacher be nice? Would they still get to play?
Faces were washed, and teeth were brushed white;
Kids posed for pictures with eyes sparkling bright.

Parents packed snacks and kids hopped in cars
As if they were boarding a spaceship to Mars.
Some kids brought blankets or their favorite stuffed bear;
in hopes they could nap like they did in day care.
Their parents exclaimed: You're big kids, "WOW!"
Let us hold your bears and blankies for now.
The parents were worried their children would cry
if they left them at school with just a good-bye.
So they told their darlings, "If you want, we can stay
and make sure that everything will be A-okay"
The teacher then greeted each one with a smile,
and invited the students to stay for a while.
The room was all filled with toys, books, and maps,
but where were the beds for midmorning naps?
They colored and painted and played Simon Says,
then tumbled and skipped and stood on their heads.
They sang silly songs from beginning to end.
Within just a minute, each kid had a friend.
The children were happy. They loved Miss Sunrise
It was she who was in for a giant surprise.
When what to her wondering eyes should appear
but sad moms and dads who were holding back tears!
Their noses “ so sniffly!" Their eyes “ red and wet!"
This was the saddest good-bye Miss Sunrise had seen yet!
She gathered the grown-ups on the magical rug,
then sent them away after one final hug.
The children all waved from the door of the school.
"Don't cry, Mom and Dad; kindergarten is cool!"
~Natasha Wing

And so it goes...tomorrow our baby goes to kindergarten! God bless you Hannah, Mommy, Daddy and Emily love you so much!

Not a vacation...

But a great place to visit ~ We are Grafted In is a wonderful resource for truths about life and about adoption. One of our posts is featured there now, feel free to visit and show some love :) Just click here.

Sakes alive...she is FIVE!

Happy Birthday Hannah Leigh.

Hannah had a great year at school this year. She had the same teacher that Emily had when she was four. This was so comforting to me. She is a lovely lady. Her heart is most definitely poised to honor each and every child in her classroom.

When it came time for Hannah's conference earlier this year, I was excited to hear about how she was doing. Her teacher smiled and informed me how wonderfully Hannah was doing, she was a good friend, very sweet, sings a lot, participates and has all of her developmental goals in place. But she added admittedly that at the beginning, she found Hannah "hard to read". Hannah can be quiet, contemplative and even aloof. If you don't know her, chances are you don't see how captivating she can be.

Mrs. H offered, "When I stopped expecting her to be something she is not, that is when we got to know each other." I feel like there was an enormous amount of wisdom in her statement. I am thankful she didn't keep hoping for Hannah to be something different than she is. Hannah is a little girl who takes her time to trust...but once she does, she does it with her whole heart. Hannah is a great sport. She takes disappointment with grace and dignity. She will sit through hours of her sister's activities without complaining or whining. She is honest...sometimes too honest ;) She has an amazing laugh and will try just about anything...I love her spirit of adventure! Hannah LOVES to shop! And she is an unbelievable prayer warrior...not a day goes by that I am not humbled by this precious child.






Hannah, we love you sweetheart, every beautiful part of you. You have always been a beautiful flower...blooming, blossoming, growing...ever changing to allow the sunshine in and to allow your roots to grow. We grow because of you.






Hannah with her sweet friend, Emma and her brother, Matthew and with Nan and Em

As she graduated from preschool last week, I kept wondering how she ever got so big. She chose her own outfit for the day. She selected special earrings and a special necklace. I watched as she carried herself with grace, walking to the front of the room to receive her diploma. Her teacher held her hands and said beautiful things about our little girl. Afterwards, some of her teachers tearily waved goodbye, remembering the "wait" and calling after us that she couldn't possibly be that old already. But, she is. And it is in those moments, those big, milestone moments, that I am overwhelmed by the reality of Hannah. I am thankful to one very special woman, who graciously afforded us the blessing of seeing Hannah grow into the girl God wants her to be. I look forward to all of these miraculous moments with joy and anticipation...happy fifth birthday Hannah! You are Mommy's sweet little ladybug and I adore you!

And then, she was nine...

Blessed be childhood, which brings down something of heaven into the midst of our rough earthliness.
-- Henri Frederic Amiel



Nine years ago, I had just begun labor. I was excited...electrically excited. Having lost Emily's twin early in the pregnancy, I just knew that she was going to be wildly wonderful and a survivor. What I did not bargain for was the way she would radically change absolutely everything. Emily entered this world on May 16th. A bundle of sheer joy with a cap of red hair and a smile she tried out at about five weeks old, Emily stole our hearts readily. She has been God's biggest miracle in our life.

It is no small thing that Emily is here. After the miscarriage of her twin, I was scheduled for a procedure to remove any scar tissue and make my uterus a kinder, happier place. We had no reason to believe there was any life remaining. However, the doctor requested an ultrasound to ensure the procedure was necessary. Part way through the ultrasound, the technician left the room and returned with a radiologist. The wand moved far enough for us to see the strong beating heart...we had lost one child, but God had spared the other. Thank you God!




Emily bound into this world with great joy. I don't think she has stopped smiling since then! Emily is obedient, almost to a fault. She believes in justice and desperately desires for justice to prevail. She is not at all afraid to share the love of Christ with others and she believes the best in people. Loyal and loving is how I would describe her. She adores her friends, and still has trouble naviagting some of the finer nuances of relationships. She gets completely intimidated if she feels something she has done may hurt a friend.

My very favorite Emily story happened when she was five. For Christmas, Emily asked to get her daddy a cross. I honored her request and got him a rather rustic cross. As a contractor, I knew he needed something that could withstand the dust, dirt and roughness he subjects his belongings to. He opened the gift and raved about it, but never wore it. About three months later, she asked him innocently why he never wore his beautiful cross.

His response,
"I am certainly not worthy to wear a cross."
Her response,
"That is exactly the point, dad! None of us are worthy..."

Not only was her daddy saved during this conversation, but his own spiritual journey began and it continues today.



Emily is a huge cheerleader. She lives out God's command to rejoice with those who rejoice and weep with those who mourn. She loves the stage and gets a tremendous amount of joy from singing and dancing. Her favorite Bible story is Noah's Ark and she has many favorite scriptures, which she can recite easily. She and her dear, dear friend, Gabrielle have disciplined themselves to read and study the Bible. This past April we looked on as both girls achieved an Award in Excellence for completing their Awana books and also achieving a perfect completion on their Gold assignments. Of all of Emily's accomplishments, this, by far resonates loudly as the one I pray remains with her always...God's truths are eternal.



Em's funny bone is bigger than she is. She loves a good joke. We call her cute way of saying things her "emmyisms"...she has a ton of them! Before bed, every night Emily loves to snuggle, play a game and do her devotions. She does her homework without us asking and asks hard questions that we can't always answer. There are places in her life where she struggles, but she has always been willing to work hard to get where she needs to go. I remember when she could not figure out riding a bike...now, we can't catch her.

Soon, we will cut those long red locks and donate them to Locks*of*Love. Part of me can't wait...part of me wishes I could bottle her just as she is.



Em has made me see things in myself that I don't want to see. She keeps me humbled and accountable. I love that. With Chrohn's, the doctor advised me my pregnancy with Emily would either kill me or cure me...personally, I think Emily saved me. She is a gift that I desired my whole life and God was gracious enough to grant me the desires of my heart.

Today, her ninth birthday, I give thanks to a great big God who gave me a precious red haired little girl to love....Em, you are my sunshine, now and always.

Happy Birthday Emily Grace!! We love you!!

Tangled

We are HUGE fans of the movie Tangled.

But I have to be honest, the night we saw it in the theater, Rob and I both had a reaction to it. Not the giggly, happy one. No. It was a sadness...a reality and I now know it was God preparing us for something important.

We are in the midst of celebrating four wonderful years with sweet Hannah. Last week we celebrated the day Hannah became formally, fully, no-looking-back, no worries, forever our family member. An extension of us, Hannah is here through the great providence of a God who knew this was where she belonged and she was the child to grow our little family. Those first six months were not easy, they were rich with joy and blessedness, but they were not easy. Hannah struggled to accept an older sister who she perceived to threaten her. She rebuffed Emily's advances for love and many times rejected her,leaving Emily confused and disappointed. In hindsight, I am able to see more clearly how this impacted our family and all of our relationships. The girls would need to grow into one another and Rob and I would be left to navigate some pretty bumpy terrain to ensure we honored both of our children and validated the deep well of emotions stirring about our home.

Needless to say, our growing pains were just that, opportunities for growth...for ALL of us. God answered so many questions during that time and honored ME, the mommy, the imperfect, undeserving mommy of these two amazing children with a heart able to love to depths I did not know existed. Our ability to love unconditionally was paramount to successfully nurturing these precious little people into familial health that might not otherwise have been. Rob and I stood united, despite the years of waiting and preparing, our true journey began the day our family expanded. Even the hard days, when tears outnumbered smiles and impatience gave way to loads of imperfect responses, God showed up, assuring us that the answers to our questions would always be enveloped in His Word and His promises. He has always been near, guiding and marking our steps, that in our obedience, fruit would be seen in our family unit.



More times than not, I forget that Hannah was adopted into our family. Barring the occasional crooked glance or inappropriate grocery line question, we are a normal, loving family. I know each curve and crease of Hannah's face just the same as I know her sister's. I feel her pain deeper, stronger, more intensely than she would like me to. Her contagious, infectious laugh comes straight from her belly, welling up loudly; I would know her laugh anywhere. Her little thumbnails have ridges and her skin becomes ashy if we do not moisturize it. She is bold and courageous and sometimes, she is scared, abandoning the survival skills she has worked so hard to protect.

Tangled. Somewhere in the midst of knowing all these things about Hannah, there is a truth that cannot be changed. My children's stories are different. Emily cringes at the real life answers that are shared with Hannah when she dares to ask the hard questions. Emily knows my knowledge of her differs from my knowledge of her sister. And so, when the movie came out on DVD, and two little people begged and pleaded to add it to their collection, I was torn. I liked the movie, but there was a reservation in my heart about exposing Hannah, yet again, to a storyline about a child being raised by anyone other than birthparents. (Annie, Despicable Me, etc.) Yet, we have always trusted that Hannah is just part of our family and we will handle the hard things as they come...I don't want to plant seeds that accentuate the vast expanse of their differences. So, yes...Flinn and Rapunzel live with us now.

For our first viewing at home, we were munching snacks and dancing around the family room, when Hannah became very quiet, sat in my lap and hugged me as tight as her little body can muster. With just a glance, she whispered, "I don't want to go back to China, ever." At the tender age of four, Hannah had connected the dots well enough to know Rapunzel went back to the parents who had birthed her. I knew God had instinctively given me a heart to prepare for this. Based on our initial feelings, we had prayed and readied for this. Though I thought it may come much later, I was rather shocked at her intuitiveness and quite honestly, it changes my prayer life regarding Hannah. Not all children deal the same, not all adoptions look the same, not a one of us will experience our situation in the same way. I share this here, in transparency and love, because there are truths in adoption that are real. But, joyfully God has prepared us for these moments. If we sustain our children in His truth, there is no subject matter too difficult for Him.

I am so thankful she does not view me as Mother Gothall ;) quite the opposite, Hannah wants to know that this is forever. And so, I assure her, as long as there is breath in my body, she is my daughter. Even if the Lord would choose to take me home, she remains my daughter. I love her and cherish her in the way that God designed parents to love their children. Her daddy feels exactly the same way. We learned that unconditional spirit from the Master himself, and though we'd never profess perfection, we know His plan is perfect.



Our conversations may be tangled as we weave our way through difficult discussions, but they smooth out seamlessly when we commit our children to Him, remembering He trusted us. Ultimately, both of our children are HIS, loaned to us for such a short time. I pray that I serve BOTH of our children well in that all too short time.