Tuesday, December 4, 2007

Eight Month Musings

When our son, Noah was born to Heaven, we were overwhelmed with graciousness by those who love us. Though we had not shared our news of a coming baby, those who knew me well, recognized I had been way too quiet, way too long. It was evident in looking at me that I was not just overindulging on oreos, however, in kindness and respect, most allowed us our privacy. There was speculation, but no one pried. On the sad day when we arrived home from the hospital, friends dropped by with meals and gifts, cards came, calls came, all of which were appreciated. The news of what happened to our family traveled quickly to family and friends. It was comforting to be surrounded by such love. I prayed A LOT during that time and knew God would carry our burden. I prayed for a sign, any sign, something to guide my steps.

Then the box came.

It was an ordinary brown box, from P*ttery Barn, no less, and I knew it had some pumpkin placemats and a small doll for Emily inside. Yet, when I opened it, there on top of the packing peanuts was a neatly packaged crib sheet, a boy's crib sheet, with trains and cars and planes scattered about. I did not order this. Of course it set into motion a flurry of tears, but I took it to be a sign.

A few months later, we would make the decision to adopt and we completed our paperwork requesting to adopt a little girl from China. I purposely left the crib sheet out and referred to it often, wondering the message that it held. I obviously assumed it meant a little boy would join our lives, but as we completed the last of the seemingly endless paperchase, I decided to put the crib sheet away. As I dug through the linen closet last Christmas searching for a doile (a particular doile), I unearthed the crib sheet once again. In my sadness that our cherub was not here, I decided that it represented hope, even though our referral was not yet received and we'd celebrate one more holiday without our fourth family member, I had hope. I tinkered with the idea of placing the crib sheet in a missions bag, but I found I could not part with it. I gently tucked the sheet (still wrapped) back in the same spot.

At some point this year, the crib sheet would yet again cross my path and as I stood staring at it, it hit me. Planes, trains, automobiles - we'd have so far to travel to bring home our miracle. And there it was...looking back, it was a sign of things to come - a journey, one I would not trade, ever.

So, on this eight month anniversary of Hannah arriving home to us forever, I focus on the journey, getting to this place. Our shiny, happy Hannah blossoms more everyday. I love her fiesty side and yet, she challenges me daily. I love that she asks for kisses now and hugs us with all of herself. Her giggles are priceless. I loved her long before I ever knew what her face would look like. God knew her and He knew the plans He had for our family. His timing had to be perfect to complete a journey such as this...

"Thank God for this gift, His gift. No language can praise it enough."
~ 2 Corinthians 9:15


mommy24treasures said...

oh Heather what a heart filled post...
You are such a precious person and I am so glad to have "met" you.
I am so glad you have your Hannah home this year for Christmas. I pray your Christmas is filled with His love.

Don and Lisa Osborn said...


I am trying to pull it together here so I can type. You are such a beautiful person and your beauty shines through all you do. You reflect God's light and love and are radiant.

I know your journey to Hannah was not an easy one but I am so glad you didn't give up. You listened. You trusted. You waited. In turn, God blessed you more than you could dream.

I know all your children are important to you and have a story. Thank you for poignantly sharing this part of the story.

Love you and your sweeties,

Debbie said...

Your post is a beautiful tribute to your daughter. Your post along with many others are MY light at the end of the tunnel as I wait to hold my precious daughter, knowing that God has fulfilled your request puts a smile on my face. Thank you for sharing from your heart!!!

Ashley Winters said...

What a beautiful post! God has indeed blessed you and the rest of us with our lovely daughters from China.

sheryl said...

Heather, you never fail to bring a smile to my heart when I visit your blog. But this post touched me much more deeply than I can express. If you were here, I would have had to hug you after that one! The sheet was definitely a gentle reminder from God of hope and something to be cherished always. I am so glad that Hannah is home, what a special Christmas it is for your family this year.


Linette said...

Oh, this is why I love you! You always share from your heart and make me smile and cry. :) What a beautiful post. I had chills reading this. I'm so glad God planned for Hannah to be in your family. Your Christmas will be extra special this year with her home!!!

Sheri said...

Thanks for sharing from your heart the incredible and difficult journey you've been on. I'm wiping away tears as I type. Thank God for his incredible gift of your precious Hannah. These pictures are just beautiful. What a blessed CHRISTmas it will be this year as a family of four!

Christy said...

Oh Heather that was an amazing post. I am so taken right now- I have chills. And now your baby is home for 8 months and life is complete. THis Christmas is special for so many of us as last Christmas was difficult for many of us to say the least. We all rejoyce in our little babies and the miracles they have brought to our families. Thanks for reminding us!!

Christy :)

Danielle said...


I love this post and am so glad you decided to share this story. I so needed to hear it the other night - you always provide me with so much insight. It's as if you know exactly what I need to hear at the perfect time.

When you told me that story, I knew that everything right now was happening for a reason. I thought about everything you had been through, and the amazing person that you are. How you have overcome so much, and I KNEW I would be ok. You have helped provide so much clarity and strength, and on this Thankful Thursday, I am thankful for you!

And can I tell you how much I loved talking to Emily and Hannah. I love that Emily told me that on Christmas we celebrate Jesus' birthday. That girl is such a blessing! She is such a wonderful role model for Hannah.



Kimber said...


That is such a beautiful story and so wonderfully told. Blessing to you! I love the gift song and was thinking about it last night in fact!


prechrswife said...

Wow, Heather...what an amazing story. God is faithful...

Beautiful pictures of Hannah.


Stefanie said...

Thank you so much for sharing your story. It's amazing how God places things in our lives to give us strength, encouragement and hope at just the right time :) The pictures of Hannah are adorable, what a blessed Christmas you all are sure to have!

redmaryjanes said...

My heart is so touched by your post. Motherhood is so filled with joys and pains. I think your girls are just beautiful.

DiJo said...

I know that the path that God picked for you to have Hannah in your family was not an easy one to travel. Obviously he rewarded your generous heart and faithfulness with a very special baby and an incredible big sister! Sometimes His plans are so hard to understand. Clearly He loves you so much that he has trusted your with three of his most special gifts. Even if one is now a reminder through a very special crib sheet! Thank you for sharing such a big part of who you are!
Blessings, and happy 8 months that smiley bundle of joy!

Jodee Leader said...

My heart is also touched by your post. Your girls are just adorable! You are so blessed!

Leslie said...

Heather, your story is just beautiful, brings tears to my eyes. God's plans are always perfect even though we struggle with them at times. You and the crib sheet have had a full circle moment as I call it. Little Hannah is so beautiful, she is so blessed to be your daughter, you have so many wonderful things to teach her. Enjoy this season, you have waited so long for this!

Angie said...

OH Heather, what a beautiful post and heartfelt story. Your journey to Hannah inspires me and keeps me going...thank you for that. You are such an encouragement to me and I'm sure many others.
The pictures of Hannah are absolutely precious!

Cyndi said...

What a wonderful story of Gods plan. Thanks for sharring it with all of us waiting parents.
Happy holidays.

Anonymous said...


You have me crying, I mean crying. I am so touched by your expression of your son.

What a tender heart for the Lord you have. How blessed are your children to have a mother who has such great trust and faith in God. His gift to them, through you, will have give lifelong comfort and the reminder of hope for their own hearts in times when their faith is stretched.
I deeply appreciate learning more about this part of the story of your family. How much more I am endeared to you as we travel this mommy road together... These precious treasures God has selected especially for us. You have reminded me, in this season of giving, of our Father who gives us such perfect gifts. He knows just what our hearts need.

God bless you this season! Hugs, ~A

Amy Jo said...

Heather - I saw you listed over at Lysa T's blog and thought I would drop by and say "hello!" I'm so glad I did. What a beautiful and intimate post. Thank you for sharing.

I grieve with you in your loss and rejoice with you in the blessing God has brought you. I, too, have a daughter from China. :-) Your children are beautiful.

Praying God's sweet blessings upon you, Amy in OR


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