I have been thinking a lot lately. Good thoughts, happy ones. Contentment. It is not a first for me to be content, but as I view the world, I realize how many people are discontent. I have a friend who once told me, "there are no happy marriages."
I disagree. I think there are no perfect marriages. But quite conversely, I think many are happy. We are approaching our seventh wedding anniversary. Nope, no itches. Does he make me crazy? Some days. Do I make him crazy? Some days. Even with the uncertainties life hands us and the moments that bring out the ugly monster in all of us, I can honestly say that I am grateful. Happy. Content.
I am thoroughly enjoying the time I get to spend with the girls. Their personalities, so different, always changing, forever beautiful in my eyes, their mother. I remember hoping, praying believing I would be a mother...someday. It felt like someday took forever to roll around, yet on this side of it, I don't quite recall the lonely years, the wondering if it would be my turn. It is my turn and I don't want to miss any of it.
I am thankful for new friends. This has been a year of newness, for all of us. Through adoption and other avenues, I have stumbled upon some pretty amazing families. I know these people were purposely placed in our lives and I cherish each one, looking forward to what is in store for us and how our relationships will grow. One will be visiting this fall and I cannot wait to share a long awaited hug with her. One has slowly entered our lives, revealing each time we are together a new reason we belong in each others' lives. There are others, each special.
I am thankful that God stretches us, changes us, molds us. I am a mere shadow of the punctual, Franklin Planner packing, desperately stylish woman I once thought I had to be. Now, I wear sweats (GASP) to the grocery store (okay, they are cute sweats), I don't stress when I have to change a diaper just as we step out the door, I skip the vacuuming to swing and take Emily to Bible Study. While on vacation, I had visions...two polar opposites, running on the beach, white dresses salt licked from the ocean and hair wildly flying in the wind, they are smiling, posing, loving that I am pointing the blasted camera at them once again. Their vision was different. They wanted to wear sweats so they could "play" in the sand and fly kites and well, stay warm:) And though they did not ban the camera, they wanted me to fly kites with them, alongside, without the pressure of the perfect smile. I conceded. We all won.