On being chosen...

I don't believe in coincidences.

I believe that God's hand rests steadily on all things.

For most of my life, I have dreamed of writing...I don't necessarily have a specific vision for it. It could be as simple as an article or as extensive as a book. Regardless of the location of text, I just know that words fall freely from my stream of consciousness. Joining with others through written word has always been a joy. Through our family blog, I have had the gift of reciprocity about profound and intimate subjects like adoption, parenting and faith. There have been times I am rendered "stuck" with nothing to write about, God will most times reveal something powerful meant for sharing.

I had been praying about throwing my hat in the ring for a chance at a scholarship opportunity that Lysa Terkurst is offering for She Speaks 2011. But in true Heather fashion, I thought of the many reasons I should not and kept moving. Who will take care of the children? What if I have no gift for writing? What if the timing of the conference conflicts with family vacation? What if I am chosen and every uber talented woman there views me with disdain? What if our bank account does not agree with my decision to go to a conference?

And then came one of the many nudges God gives me everyday.
It's not about YOU, Heather!
Huh? What? Ohhh, right.

I thought about the reality of being "chosen". We were chosen before we even knew it. We have been chosen to do His work, pen His devotionals, encourage friends and peers to more closely abide with Him, share our stories to His glory, get on our knees in accordance to His will. Nothing in this walk has been about my excuses, reasons or fears. They exist, but they do not define His call on my life. Being chosen...whether I am the happy recipient of a wonderful scholarship to sharpen my skills and meet new friends... or not, I am still chosen to share Him with the world. My task remains the same.

So, if I am to be chosen for a scholarship to attend this conference, I should let God decide. Sydney Smith, an English clergyman once said, "Regret for the things we did can be tempered by time; it is regret for the things we did not do that is inconsolable." It would sadden me to wake up and realize God's nudge had gone unattended to, or that my little hat filled with worry, caused me to allow an opportunity slip quietly away. If this is God's timing, I don't want to miss His blessing.

I could share the details of our life enumerating the reasons why this scholarship is critical to my attendance. God knows the details. It will be His choice and as much as I love reading each and every story to be shared, they are all worthy and all poignant. I have never been very good at competitive activities. I find myself cheering on each special lady destined for written and spoken greatness in His name.

So, here I am, hat in hand, trusting His perfect plan; wondering, is this the year He has planned for me to attend this spectacular life changing event?

I cannot say for sure, but I know I will not be left inconsolable with regret.

"Now to Him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to His power that is at work within us, to Him be the glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations for ever and ever! Amen." Ephesians 3:20-21



She Speaks is one of many ministries enveloped in the wonderful Proverbs 31 ministries. The conference is designed to equip women with the necessary tools and skills to share our faith boldly. God placed Proverbs 31 in my life almost three years ago when a dear friend invited me to her home for Bible Study. What a sweet invitation and what fruit has been found from this ministry in my life.

Celebrations Abound!

When February blew in this year, I felt a bit overwhelmed with the amount of celebrating we have to do! Isn't that a beautiful thing?



Rob had a birthday. I met Rob at 32 years of age and married him a year later. We celebrate ten years of marriage this year. These years have been quite an adventure for us. We are both grateful, almost to tears, at the way God has transformed our marriage, our parenting, our life. Financially, we always struggle. I used to be sad to say that. Now, as I see the way those struggles have grown us, united us and forced us to make really difficult decisions, I am grateful for them. I am thankful for a husband that has endorsed our choice to be a family first and everything else second. It has not been an easy road, but continues to be a worthwhile one. I am thankful for a husband who works hard, not only is he in the business of manual labor, but he NEEDS to be customer focused. Sometimes for this shy guy, that presents it's challenges, but as his wife, I like seeing him stretch and grow. He stepped waaaayyyy out of his box this winter to assist a dear friend in coaching basketball for Emily's team. I am proud of him. His relationship with Emily has deepened tremendously. Watching him love on those kids and try to learn something he knows nothing about really blesses me. The kids on the team made him cards for his birthday...I watched him open each one. There is nothing quite so humbling or precious as the heart of a grown man evolving right before you.





I think the biggest celebration for me, is the milestone of 50 happily married years for my parents. I adore my parents. Adore! They raised us well. They made mistakes, I am sure they did, but I cannot, for the life of me, think of them. My aunt asked my mother what she loves about my father - his undying faith, his work ethic and the way he has always "taken care of everything". My father said that he loves my mother's unbridled compassion. If you knew their story, it would seem unlikely they'd be as warm, compassionate and selfless as they are, but God truly had a plan there and I am so grateful my brother and I were part of it. Mark and I hosted an intimate dinner party to celebrate with them. I had originally desired a huge splashy party with all their friends and relatives...God's plan to honor them looked different, and I am so thankful. We all enjoyed the tender closeness of our immediate family...it felt like home. My parents were overflowing with gratitude and we could not have wanted for more. Happy Anniversary, Mommy and Daddy, we love you so much!









And February 1 brings the anniversary of the day we heard the words, "We have your referral. Your daughter is from Jiangxi Province and her name is Xiao Wei Feng." I saw her face for the very first time and knew without a shadow of a doubt she was meant to be part of our family. Hannah has taught me about love in ways I never dreamt. I am wildly protective of Hannah, while also being able to see her in her rawest form and accept and appreciate every little nuance that makes her Hannah. Hannah is lovely, from her adorable little gap in her smile to her dimples that melt even the hardest of hearts; but it is her soul that intrigues me. Her perfect olive skin may captivate my eyes but her depth, breadth and complexity inspire me and make me a better mother than I ever imagined being. She and Emily fight, but that same passion that makes them competitive, makes them fiercely devoted to one another. Hannah lends her sister strength and tenacity, while Emily softens the rough places and teaches her younger counterpart about grace and mercy.

Nothing can ever prepare us for the sheer joy of motherhood. It is as close a glimpse of heaven as I can imagine. SO today, I am thankful for the man who helped me become a mother and his life that we celebrate, for the mother and father who raised me to be who I am, and their fifty loving, faithful years together and for the daughters who continue to bless, stretch, refine and keep me accountable. God blessed me when he allowed me to carry one below my heart and carry the other within it...both ARE the very heart of me.

Housekeeping

This was a post I placed on the Titus 2 in Action blog, but felt convicted to place it here too. Enjoy. :)

I like the daily chores of housekeeping. Please, folks do not lob scores of angry rotten tomatoes at me with this confession or call and ask me to be at your home in ten minutes. The truth is, I enjoy serving my family. One of my favorite scriptures,

"Whatever you do, do it all for the glory of God." 1 Corinthians 10:31

came to my attention early in my domestic life and it has stuck. However, over the years, the expectations would change several times. As my responsibilities increased, I would find myself aggitated and condemning when I could not scratch off each item on my "to do" list in a certain amount of time. Each change and transition has presented it's own challenges.

This week, the challenges seemed huge as the appliances revolted rendering our family can-opener-less, hot water heater-less AND washer-less. I found myself praying...praying for the provision to be able to replace our modern conveniences, praying for forgiveness for counting so dearly on the things of the world and praying for a miracle that would help me complete my chores in a timely fashion.

My husband graciously researched hot water heaters and he was able to get us one that would fill the void. He installed it himself into the wee hours of our normal Friday Night Family night. Thankful, I was able to take a hot shower less than three hours after it was installed. Having missioned in places where no hot water exists, it is a daily thanksgiving I offer up to the Lord each and every time I step into the shower, "Thank you Lord, for hot water." Prayers answered.

When the washing machine began hissing, whirring and stomping clear across the laundry room the next day, it was not a happy moment. Faced with the prospect of yet another heavy bill, my husband and I looked at each other tenuously. We prayed...we prayed for a soution other than a new washing machine. January for a contractor is never pretty. Though we are grateful for work, January always tends to be slower with smaller jobs and slower payment on finished jobs post Christmas reverie. I had to figure out how to get the laundry done outside our sunny, yellow laundry room. The Lord provided yet another opportunity to be thankful and praise His name for the long time we had enjoyed this washing machine and the convenience it brings to our lives.

After we prayed, we visited an appliance dealer to find our replacement washer. We agreed that if the current washer could not be fixed, we would find a way to finance the new one. In obedience, my husband checked the internet for potential problems with this washing machine. Praise God for Rob's discernment, he located a small part that breaks off the machines and ordered a new one readily. The new one was installed and the washer is working great! Praise!

I would have been anxious to buy new, releasing the old one, but also potentially releasing the Lord's will for this situation. Even in our housekeeping, God is alive and working. I was humbled not only by God's quick response but also by my own short sightedness in trusting that God is capable of far more than I can imagine. We are assured in Psalm 37:4 "Take delight in the Lord and He will give you the desires of your heart."

"And my God will fully satisfy every need of yours according to His riches in glory in Christ Jesus. To our God and Father be glory forever and ever." Phillipians 4:19
Though this verse speaks to God's promise to fulfill the needs of the Phillipians, the promise here is that God will supply “all” the needs of the Philippians, not just some of them. Whether our need is temporal or spiritual, God will meet it.
When the glory is given to Him; when we trust His promises and seek Him first, the Lord will not allow us to remain in want. No detail is too small, even the daily rigor of housekeeping is not too small for our Lord.

May God provide perfect provision for you in all things.
Be encouraged and blessed.

Wordless Wednesday (It's Snow Fun!)

I Have a Dream...

After we drop Emily off at school on Mondays, Hannah and I have a standing date. We usually get a bite to eat and do a few errands. We both look forward to this time.

While eating a piece of candy and singing Veggie Tales tunes, Hannah said quietly,

"Mommy, I have a dream."

We all know I asked what her dream was.

Her answer?

"To grow up just like my sister. Now, isn't that a great dream, Mom?"

Yes, Hannah. That IS a great dream.

Even though, I LOVE their differences; it always blesses me when they appreciate each other's gifts. Our girls know we want them to be only what God wants them to be. As they grow and discover what that is, I will take each moment like this one and relish it for it's beauty and significance. Initially adversaries, it is a treasure to witness God's love in their relationship and see what He can do, where we cannot. I daily pray that their sisterhood deepens, in each and every way.

A sister is a gift to the heart, a friend to the spirit, a golden thread to the meaning of life - Isadora James

Join me for a spot of tea...

Ladybugs. Dots. Spots... I am hoping the blog will undergo some changes in 2011. I'm considering a new look and even some added components.

In the meantime, our family is still basking in the afterglow of a beautiful and memorable Christmas season. I am so thankful for the traditions that make this time of year so special. Most of all, I am thankful for the birth of a saviour. A tiny baby born that our hearts may be worthy of forgiveness and grace, an infant gift that has saved me from my sin and washed me clean of the imperfections that could destroy me. Instead, those pieces of myself are what helps me cling to Him, seeking His will, instead of my own. I love celebrating Christmas, every single aspect of it. I love lit candles in the windows, trees filled with baubles that tell the tales of our lives one fragment of time by one fragment of time. Yes, I even love Santa Claus and the eternal hope that is built when humans look past their own needs to meet the needs of others.

Tea. Once a year, at Christmas, we venture into the city to a lovely hotel that I may never actually stay in to enjoy the warmth and beauty of the season. I LOVE taking my mother, who not only drinks tea daily but still values the sentimental goodness of dressing up and stealing a few hours to just be. At tea. Together.

I love that Hannah had her first exposure to tea this year and LOVED every moment, from slipping on her green velvet dress to plopping at least a million marshmellows into her tiny cup of hot chocolate. I love that we go with timeless friends, the kind that you pray you will be with forever. The friends that you go to when prayer is needed and when oxygen is necessary...and they bring their family, and you recognize the lost art of being with people this way, no stress, no worries, just tea and thee and the Christmas tree. It is by far one of the most Mary moments during a Martha season. I am thankful the Lord grants us those opportunities to relish our relationships, not only with Him but with others who touch our lives and bless our hearts.





Just one of the many traditions that have humbled us this season, I hope to post a bit more about the past few weeks. Thank you, as always for visiting us here. Praying your Christmas was blessed beyond measure.

The Christmas Jar

Driving down the road, not long ago, we passed a casino. Emily read the sign and asked me to define casino. I did. Her response?

Wouldn't it be amazing, Mom, if people took all that change and filled Christmas jars instead? Yep, I'm with you Em.

Two years ago, we began a new tradition. In the days leading up to Christmas, we place a jar on the kitchen counter. Every lick of spare change gets dropped into our jar and we commit to pray for the family God wants to have this extra bit of encouragement. It is a tangible, do-able way for our family to bless another family at the most joyful time of the year.

Last year, God literally showed us a miracle in our Christmas jar.

We had visited the city for the day. Our train was not scheduled to leave for some time, so we sat on a bench at the top of the steps leading to our track. As we sat chatting, Emily asked who would receive our jar. I had a specific family in mind and felt convicted that they were to receive the gift, regardless of the fact I did not know if they "needed" the jar. As we chatted about our prayers and who God had revealed to receive the jar, I watched, stunned as the very family God had laid on my heart came up the steps and walked past us in the station. There was no mistaking our confirmation to bless them. You see, they were not there to take in the sights and sounds of Christmas, they were there because they had no other way to get to the city to visit a family member who had just had a very serious surgery.


Hannah napped on Daddy while we chatted on the bench


Late, late, late Christmas Eve, we pulled up to their home and my kind husband, shimmied up the ice laden drive to leave the jar, with just a bow and warm wishes for God to bless them beyond measure.

We don't share our experience for any sort of accolade; this was not our idea. Somewhere along the line, this beautiful ministry was shared with us and we answered the call. We share it now with you, that others might do the same, pay it forward, extend the body of Christ past our own doorways and driveways.

Go ahead, run out to the recycling bin...I am sure there must be a jar in there! :)