Wednesday, August 4, 2010

On being married...

Now you will feel no rain, For each of you will be shelter to the other.
Now you will feel no cold, For each of you will be warmth to the other.
Now there is no more loneliness, For each of you will be companion to the other.
Now you are two bodies, But there is one life before you.
Go now to your dwelling place, To enter into the days of your togetherness.

And may your days be good and long upon the earth.
~ Apache Wedding Prayer Blessing

When we were married nine years ago, I asked one of the officiating pastors and a long time friend to incorporate this blessing into our ceremony. He did so gladly.

I thought it was beautiful.

I still do.

And, I assumed that it was an ancient Indian prayer historically connected to the Apache culture.

I was wrong. It is actually linked to a movie associated with the Apache's called Broken Arrow. We live and we learn :)

Marriage is like my experience with the prayer. We go into it thinking one thing and learn that there is so much more to it. Our culture glorifies and celebrates marriage for the celebration itself. However, it often occurs to me on those dark nights when the children are sick, or when critters come a callin', I have Rob to lean on. And he has me. It is the way that God designed.

When our finances look bleak and the house is in disrepair, I look to him. And he looks to me. When we sit at a dance recital or ready for our youngest to head back to preschool, he shares his joy with me and I with him.

And all along, in every circumstance, we do our best to trust it not unto ourselves. Thus we have grown, and we have faith in a God far bigger than any of the dreams we began this marriage with.

Marriage does not mean blissful days filled with total agreement. It just doesn't. There are days where that exists, but not all the time. We were not wired that way. We are called to be unconditional and fortunately, we are designed to be able to accomplish this task. However, we only achieve this only through another committed relationship, that of our intimate relationship with the Lord.

Marriage is an ever-changing, ongoing event. Sometimes, there is silence. And volumes are spoken. Sometimes, there is endless noise. And nothing is accomplished. Sometimes, we bicker, fight, gripe, moan, whine, complain, heavily sigh, challenge, regret, and even forget. We forget the love we began with, we forget the respect necessary for a good marriage, we forget to be unconditional in loving our spouses. And if we are blessed, our spouses forgive us and we forgive them. It is as it was designed. We think it is about us...ultimately, it is about Him.

And sometimes, like today, we do not take for granted the gift that has been given in the union of two people for His purpose, raising some pretty spectacular children. I take this moment to be grateful...for a husband who provides, for a husband who loves me, for a husband who loves our children far more than he could ever love himself, for a husband who loves the Lord and desires to know him better, for all of these things, I am grateful.

Happy Anniversary, Rob. How quickly these nine years have much I look forward to all the years that will follow...


Jodee Leader said...

What a sweet post! Happy Anniversary!

Don and Lisa Osborn said...


This is beautiful--just like you. I am so thankful you and Rob continue to grow together with God at the center of your marriage.


The Byrd's Nest said...

Oh Heather....what a beautiful post. What a blessing to be married to your best friend and someone who loves Christ as much as you:)

Love you!

3 Peanuts said...

So beautiful Heather! Happy Anniversary:)

Dita said...

I have a lump in my throat, chills down my arm and such warmth in my heart after reading this AMAZING post.

So TRUE, Heather....I feel like you entered my own thoughts and so eloquently placed them here when I think of my own marriage.

Thank you for reminding me how truly blessed we are!

Happy Anniversary!


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