Thursday, March 10, 2011
I don't believe in coincidences.
I believe that God's hand rests steadily on all things.
For most of my life, I have dreamed of writing...I don't necessarily have a specific vision for it. It could be as simple as an article or as extensive as a book. Regardless of the location of text, I just know that words fall freely from my stream of consciousness. Joining with others through written word has always been a joy. Through our family blog, I have had the gift of reciprocity about profound and intimate subjects like adoption, parenting and faith. There have been times I am rendered "stuck" with nothing to write about, God will most times reveal something powerful meant for sharing.
I had been praying about throwing my hat in the ring for a chance at a scholarship opportunity that Lysa Terkurst is offering for She Speaks 2011. But in true Heather fashion, I thought of the many reasons I should not and kept moving. Who will take care of the children? What if I have no gift for writing? What if the timing of the conference conflicts with family vacation? What if I am chosen and every uber talented woman there views me with disdain? What if our bank account does not agree with my decision to go to a conference?
And then came one of the many nudges God gives me everyday.
It's not about YOU, Heather!
Huh? What? Ohhh, right.
I thought about the reality of being "chosen". We were chosen before we even knew it. We have been chosen to do His work, pen His devotionals, encourage friends and peers to more closely abide with Him, share our stories to His glory, get on our knees in accordance to His will. Nothing in this walk has been about my excuses, reasons or fears. They exist, but they do not define His call on my life. Being chosen...whether I am the happy recipient of a wonderful scholarship to sharpen my skills and meet new friends... or not, I am still chosen to share Him with the world. My task remains the same.
So, if I am to be chosen for a scholarship to attend this conference, I should let God decide. Sydney Smith, an English clergyman once said, "Regret for the things we did can be tempered by time; it is regret for the things we did not do that is inconsolable." It would sadden me to wake up and realize God's nudge had gone unattended to, or that my little hat filled with worry, caused me to allow an opportunity slip quietly away. If this is God's timing, I don't want to miss His blessing.
I could share the details of our life enumerating the reasons why this scholarship is critical to my attendance. God knows the details. It will be His choice and as much as I love reading each and every story to be shared, they are all worthy and all poignant. I have never been very good at competitive activities. I find myself cheering on each special lady destined for written and spoken greatness in His name.
So, here I am, hat in hand, trusting His perfect plan; wondering, is this the year He has planned for me to attend this spectacular life changing event?
I cannot say for sure, but I know I will not be left inconsolable with regret.
"Now to Him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to His power that is at work within us, to Him be the glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations for ever and ever! Amen." Ephesians 3:20-21
She Speaks is one of many ministries enveloped in the wonderful Proverbs 31 ministries. The conference is designed to equip women with the necessary tools and skills to share our faith boldly. God placed Proverbs 31 in my life almost three years ago when a dear friend invited me to her home for Bible Study. What a sweet invitation and what fruit has been found from this ministry in my life.