Mama Drama

Drama. I feel like I have heard that word so much lately. I am self admittedly a drama-phobe. It goes along nicely with my fear of germs and my fear of snakes. I am fully aware of God's assurances about fear, yet amazingly, my human self still becomes a bit unkept when in the presence of these three issues.

These past six weeks I was blessed to take a long term sub position with Emily's school. I was assigned to a wonderful kindergarten class. I fell head over heels in love with twenty beautiful children. I honed skills I have not used in several years and I saw a fair share of drama over those weeks. Personally and professionally. The teacher, who was attending to her husband's medical issues at home was in and out of the classroom to tie up loose ends. She happened to mention drama and I advised somewhat in jest, "I don't do drama."

In all truthfulness, whether we like or not some amount of drama will likely enter our bubbles at some point. We both knew I was not mocking her current situation, quite the opposite, I was encouraging her and offering any and every support I could. The reality is drama happens. Sometimes it is the very essence of a certain relationship, sometimes it comes in the form of health-related curveballs that throw us into trenches we would rather not visit, sometimes it is the necessary evil when we choose to abandon what we know is right. Whatever drama enters our lives, my prayer is that we gain something significant from the experience, that we grow from the trial and broaden our scope.

I happened to catch award -winning drama, "Good Will Hunting" on tv a few days ago. I was ironing and used the tv as a companion while Rowenta worked her special brand of magic. I first saw this movie in the theater. As a psychology buff, I envisioned sitting rapt with attention as the drama played out on the screen. That was not to be...I was so disgusted with the language in this movie that I could not remotely enjoy it. I saw the dilemma of the young man pushing a broom for MIT when he should have been sitting in the classes himself. I absolutely understood the baggage he carried from years of abuse and abandonment, yet I could not get past the blatent disregard for his character; to make him sound so incredibly idiotic with language that undermined the true gifts this young man had been blessed with. In my twenties, I was judgemental, a bit fundamental and when I saw this movie, I was still married for the first time, with very little experience in drama.

When I viewed this movie last week, I am still fundamental, though less judgemental than I used to be. I was able to clearly view the movie without the added annoyance of bad language...it was on a regular station and all of the vulgarity had been removed. But, this time, it was not the movie that had changed, I am different. I am twelve years older and hopefully wiser. I have seen more drama than I care to mention. Deaths, sicknesses, lost friendships, infidelities, break-ups, sorrows...so many things, not necessarily my battles but battles I have seen and prayers I have lifted over the years. I am deeper in my spiritual walk and seeking the Lord on a very different level, as a wife, a mother, a friend, a daughter. It is not time that grows us, it is the way we handle the drama that encroaches our small, little space.

As relationships go, I am honest when I say I don't do drama. I don't like potstirring and I certainly don't like conflict. I won't engage. I am slow to anger and quick to forgive. I am passionate about being an encourager and even with all that said, sometimes drama still has a way of niggling it's way in.

I am not a panic button mommy. I can be over protective and I do take very seriously my role. I trust the Lord to protect us and to guide us, however, I am fully aware that He will expect me to do my share as well. With Emily's most recent health issues, I clearly see my need to lean not to my own understanding. As we slog through her batteries of tests, I am reflective, prayerful and quiet. I recognize my need to do this.

These weeks have rendered me a bit motion sick, up and down, up and down. I find great comfort and truth in this passage from Isaiah 42:16,

" I will lead the blind by a road they do not know, by paths they have not known I will guide them. I will turn darkness before them into light, the rough places into level ground. These are the things I will do, and I will not forsake them."

Do you have some Mama Drama? How can I pray for you today?