Thankful, Thoughtful Thursday

Oh where to begin...
This thankful Thursday, I have a mix of thoughts and feelings, so the title aptly describes my present mood - I am thankful, but I am also thoughtful and a bit reminiscent this week.



In honor of Mother's Day, I celebrate my own mother. A woman of true grace and dignity, she has taught me so many things,not just in her words, but in the example she sets to others around her. In all the years of being her daughter, I have never heard her complain. There were certainly times she could have and yet, she has always accepted what the Lord has placed in her path. She left a prestigious position with a financial organization to raise my brother and I. I am certain there were days when she would have loved to put on her suit and go back, but her priority was at home and she never faltered in her loyalty to us. We have done well because of this. She is a Godly wife and mother, taking seriously her responsibilites and all the joys that accompany those roles. She quietly works in the background of any situation, but make no mistake, she is bright beyond measure and uses every gift she has been blessed with to benefit others. I am grateful to have been raised by a woman whom I would choose to know even if she were not my mother.

I am thankful for the gift of being a mother. My heart's greatest desire has always been to mother children and I thank God, He chose me to mother these incredible little people, our daughters. That gratitude also extends to the three children I was not blessed to know. Emily's twin and two still born siblings are forever in my heart and ever present in my mind. Someone commented to me that Hannah makes that all better, and while the joy of her and the love we share is magnificent, it is an entity all it's own, just like our love for Emily. Their presence in our lives does not diminish the reality of others who went home before us. It was never the "job" of Emily or Hannah to heal our hurts. Rather, they add depth, width, breadth that I never imagined was possible and I am grateful to God everyday for each of them and for the gift of being their "Mommy".

I am thankful for Diana and Lisa, who both have incredible milestones to celebrate this week. Diana has her one year anniversary of being united with Ruby Mei and Lisa's sweet daughter Lindy turns three today. Congratulations to both these precious families. We love you.


On a prayerful note, the little boy I work with, Ray, has had surgery today. Ray is a little boy affected by Autism. I could get up on my pedestal and write a lengthy dissertation about Autism and the impact of this disease on our culture, I will spare you my histrionics and statistics. I will say that I pray Ray will be okay. Communicating with him is difficult and I am uncertain the degree to which he will understand what has happened and how he is feeling. He had a cyst in his abdominal cavity and apparently it was hurting his entire belly. I pray for his family and quite frankly, for all families dealing with pervasive developmental disorders. Until we have walked a mile in thier shoes, we may never truly understand. I am grateful my daughters are not affected by this spectrum of disorders. Families often offer that I should go home and hug my children and delight in their normalcy - for those of you who read this, trust me, I do.

I am thankful for opportunities to discuss the joy and promise of adoption. I am thankful the Lord gives me words and calms my spirit when this subject comes up. I love to discuss our family and our history, recognizing that certain items are personal, off limits and not to be discussed ever. I am thankful for the mommy in line in front of me at the GAP, who said she always thought of doing "that" pointing at Hannah. If I had gone ahead based purely on my perception of what she was trying to articulate, I may have missed a great moment to share and a wonderful opportunity to help her understand how words can wound. We talked for a long time and even the staff ended up in the conversation. She waited in the parking lot and approached me when I had finished shopping letting me know I had "made her day, changed her heart and given her information she never knew or would have considered before our discussion."



I am thankful to be an aunt. Emily and I are headed to Band night at the high school to see my nieces and nephew perform. This will be the last concert I see with my nephew as a high school student. Congratulations Andrew, you are a leader among your peers and the apple of my eye. I pray God richly blesses your life as you begin your college years in several weeks. Andrew has chosen University of Maryland and I am thrilled to see his successes, not to mention heartbroken to see him leave.





Next week marks Emily's sixth birthday, there are no words to express how thankful I am for this child. She is a doting big sister, a bright ray of sunshine and in many ways wise beyond her years. Her compassionate heart overwhelms me. Though I know it is all going entirely too fast, I am also thankful Hannah is little and look forward to the stages she is about to embark on:) Emily said to me this morning, "Mom, are you sad I am not your baby anymore?" Gee, Em, you will always be my baby; someday, she will understand that, as I now understand my mother in many, many ways.