Welcome to Our Little Ladybugs!

Merry Christmas!

2011-12-24T20:06:00.000-08:00

Some December highlights to begin this post...

For to us a child is born,
to us a son is given,
and the government will be on his shoulders.
And he will be called
Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God,
Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace. Isaiah 9:6

As we entered the Christmas season and I worked with our school's enrichment classes, I was priviledged to share with them some of the eternal truths set forth by the birth of one small baby in the most unlikely of places. The children's enthusiasm and their curiosity blessed me as we reconnected with these precious events. We have heard the story so many times, that sometimes in our worldliness, certainly not purposely, but often mistakenly, we overlook pieces simply because we know it so well.

One of our school principal's said it eloquently when he said, "It just doesn't make sense and perhaps that makes it all that much more special." Our journey of faith begins in that very stable, a barn. A stinky, messy barn... where greatness came into the world. And as I shared with the students, it was not for one of us...it was for ALL of us.

So, this day...I wish you a Merry Christmas. A blessed, joyful day of celebrating the birth of our Savior. I pray you know Him and if by chance you don't, or you have a loved one who does not, leave me a message with your email. I will respond back to you privately.

All I really want for Christmas is for others to know Him and be freed by His love and grace. I am a child of the Almighty and thankful each and everyday for the mercies He showers upon His flock.

Blessings to you ~ and a very Merry Christmas!

A Few of My Favorite Things!

2011-12-01T16:23:00.000-08:00

I wish that time was everlasting and I could get here more often to post, but alas, time slips away and I find that our dear friend Face*book has sneakily stolen my mojo for blogging. Well, that and parenting and being a good wife and working and food shopping and activities...and doctor appointments and cleaning and planning and...oh, you know you are so there! :)

There is a huge blessing my lack of time. God has bestowed upon us many to love and much to do. So in this post, I will attempt to share some really great links and update you on our lil' family.

First things first...some friends, Lisa, Diana and Stefanie have combined their amazing pool of efforts (what a super talented trio of mamas this is!)for an awe-inspiring fundraiser to bless some fantastic organizations for causes near and dear to our hearts. Please, please visit their blogs often to be part of the Fill Their Stockings event.

Secondly, I am a huge fan of Wild Olive Tees. If you have never visited, you really must! One of my online friends is gearing up to bring home "Little 9" and
"Little 10"! Wild Olive is famous for designing precious tees to help benefit families becoming families :) They are committed to sharing scripture that conveniently enough, you can wear! This link will allow you to visit Love them Home to assist with Amie's fundraiser or you can link from her page to the Wild Olive site.

Third...yes, there is a third! Just ordered some new hair bling for my cutie pies and want to send a shout out to Kimberley, who is an awesome friend and a magnificent business woman! Sophia Jane Boutique is a great place to visit!

On the home front, the girls are keeping us on our toes. I struggle with the reality of how that time thing is working against us and growing them up before our very eyes!

Kindergarten happens to be one of Hannah's favorite things. When she isn't doing her newest love...HOMEWORK!... She is loving dance class and gymnastics. She has been a faithful member of the sidelines for all of Emily's activities, so it is fun to watch her emerge and find her own voice and passion.

Em has morphed into our music-ista! I think I very well may hear her flute in my sleep. Though she is ready to begin her second basketball season, her true loves come in the forms of singing, dancing and flouting :) As she sashays onto the court, we definitely have to remind her to keep her eye on the ball!

Me? I am blessed to be a mama first and foremost, I have a job I love, a Bible Study that helps me to smooth out all those rough edges, I am reading the Bible in a year, which is exhilarating (if you ever considered doing this...please, don't wait...it is lifechanging!) I have been a Bible believing Christian all my life, but it is amazing how disciplining oneself to read and study His Word everyday has monumental impact. We are so fortunate to have good friends and family to love on us. My nephew will graduate from University of Maryland this spring. We got to see him march in the marching band a few weeks back. It was, of course, the coldest, rainiest day of the season, but it could not dampen my spirits when a guard permitted me down to the band entrance so I could snap this great pic of our Andrew!

As I glance around, house not decorated yet, laundry waiting to be folded, stray mail askew on the counter and dishes needing to be cleaned, I count my blessings for the beautiful ways my life is filled with joy. I am humbled by the magnitude of what this month holds for us. I pray for you an Advent season filled with miraculous surprises and sweet treasures.

Hoping to be back soon... :)

Get Out Your Mustard Seed!

2011-10-11T18:49:00.000-07:00

He replied, "Because you have so little faith. I tell you the truth, if you have faith as small as a mustard seed, you can say to this mountain, 'Move from here to there' and it will move. Nothing will be impossible for you." Matthew 17:20

Emily loving on sweet Joshua James

Blessings to all of you who are praying for beautiful Joshua James...thank you! I wanted to provide a bit of an update. The short version is that Joshua is eating like a champion, completely loving his mommy and daddy and keeping them up at night. They have many doctor's appointments and much of their instruction will be "watch and wait". I am continuing to leave the details to the One who knows them all. But, please continue to pray and hold this precious family up.

Gerry and I have an easy, loving relationship. We were chatting today and another co-worker mentioned in those moments when the roller coaster dips deep into the bends and turns, we question our hearts...is my faith enough? Quite honestly, I think BECAUSE our faith is so deep, we know that God is capable of that which we cannot understand or comprehend.

I thought of the mustard seed my dad brought me when I was a little girl. He had gone to a Christian men's retreat and when he returned home, he handed to me a small package. Inside, was a lovely little necklace, a bubble with a tiny seed inside and inscribed with the words, "If you have faith as small as a mustard seed..."

Our faith is so much bigger than that mustard seed, but how comforting that if we have even that little bit of faith, mountains can be moved! I am anticipating the great things God is going to do in Joshua's life...get out your mustard seeds people and keep those prayers lifted high!

Joshua James

2011-09-23T20:25:00.000-07:00

We cannot tell the exact moment a friendship is formed; as in filling a vessel drop by drop, there is at last a drop which makes it run over; so in a series of kindnesses, there is at last one that makes the heart run over.” ~ Author unknown

I cannot pinpoint the exact moment I knew our friendship was forever, but I do remember vividly a phone call that forever changed our story.

We were deep in the throes of preparing to travel for Hannah. We knew that there was potential for Rob to travel alone, so we prayed mightily for God to do something different. Gerry had been my dear friend for several years. She is a confidante, a sister in Christ and a sweet treasure to my days.

One evening, our phone rang and after careful consideration, Jim and Gerry felt God's calling to help our little family. With Gerry's blessing, Jim readied to travel to China, with my husband, a man he had met only once.

We knew immediately there would never be any way we could repay the debt of Jim embracing this journey and, at times, challenge.

__________________________________

Gerry and Jim and their children and spouses and grandchildren are family to us.

So,I am asking you to please pray. Pray for sweet Joshua James, Gerry and Jim's newest family member :)

Joshua James was born September 13 at 8 pounds 15 ounces. His beginning to his precious life has been a bit bumpy...God knows the details. Please pray for wisdom and discernment for doctors, nurses and medical practitioners who will see this beautiful boy during these early days of his life. Please pray for Brie and Josh, Joshua's parents (Gerry and Jim's daughter and son-in-law), pray for Gerry and Jim and Josh's parents, Tammy and Paul. Pray for aunts and uncles and cousins. As moms and dads go, even though this is their first child, Brie and Josh are rock stars...Brie had a very long labor and has leaned heavily on the Lord's strength to heal and transition beautifully into her role as mommy. Josh, a strong man of God, is taking excellent care of his wife and son...

Joshua James is loved beyond measure...Brie has given me permission to post this petition because she wants her amazing son covered in as much prayer as possible.

Please join me in adding Joshua James to your prayer journals, prayer ministries and personal prayers. He is a strong, beautiful child of the Almighty and we rejoice in his arrival! We adore you, sweet boy!

Update: Joshua James is home from the hospital!
Prayers for a seamless transition.

Locks of Love - Love those Locks

2011-09-10T19:06:00.001-07:00

Picture snapped by Kate at Max & Mimi Photography this summer

Redheads, I have learned, have an interesting existence. Rarely do we head to the grocery store, a restaurant or a walk around the neighborhood without the telltale comment, "Oooh, I love your hair." Emily has learned to navigate these comments sometimes even ducking away from well meaning hands, anxious to touch her little head. She has learned to thank people graciously for their compliments, and she has learned how to answer probing questions with great integrity.

Her hair is somewhat of a trademark, a vital piece of what makes her "Em".

So many women, mature in years, approach Emily with a certain smile, wistful look or memory knocking heavily at the door of their heart. They carefully extend themselves to her, reaching for the fiery tresses and gently caress her soft locks reclaiming a piece of themselves, now lost in the white mass that has replaced their own crimson coiffe. For just a moment, they are nine or twelve or twenty two or even thirty five...and Em has learned to grant them this joy.

Perhaps, that is why the decision to cut her hair was difficult for her. She knew without doubt that she wanted to send her hair to Locks of Love in hopes of blessing a child suffering, however, when faced with the cape and the chair, she declined the first try, "I am just not ready." Perhaps, Like Samson, she felt her strength would be compromised lacking the length she became used to. I, too, struggled with the permanency of a shorter do. What if we missed it? How would we get that thick hair into a ponytail??? It seems like such a silly thing to be concerned with.

And it was. God's greatest lessons often come in the small things, the things we think are important or the unknown we fail to trust Him in. Emily learned a really great lesson as she stepped away from the scissors the first time and then prayed for the "right time". She woke one morning a few weeks later, "Today is it!"

This summer on the beach - BEFORE

In the chair!

Because her hair was SO long, and SO thick, they formed two ponytails

The new do coming to life...

The final product!

Emily sent a total of 13 and some inches to Locks of Love. They were able send both ponytails. I love that she made the committment to do this and I loved some of the valuable lessons she has learned during these three long years of growing it! We are crazy about her new shorter hairstyle and I will be honest, mornings are a whole lot happier now! :)

'Twas the Night Before Kindergarten

2011-09-06T19:49:00.001-07:00

˜Twas the night before kindergarten and as they prepared,
kids were excited and a little bit scared.
They tossed and they turned about in their beds,
while visions of school supplies danced in their heads.
Erasers and crayons and pencils galore
were stuffed in their backpacks and set by the door.
Outfits were hung in closets with care,
knowing that kindergarten soon would be there.
In the morning it came school starts today!
Would the teacher be nice? Would they still get to play?
Faces were washed, and teeth were brushed white;
Kids posed for pictures with eyes sparkling bright.

Parents packed snacks and kids hopped in cars
As if they were boarding a spaceship to Mars.
Some kids brought blankets or their favorite stuffed bear;
in hopes they could nap like they did in day care.
Their parents exclaimed: You're big kids, "WOW!"
Let us hold your bears and blankies for now.
The parents were worried their children would cry
if they left them at school with just a good-bye.
So they told their darlings, "If you want, we can stay
and make sure that everything will be A-okay"
The teacher then greeted each one with a smile,
and invited the students to stay for a while.
The room was all filled with toys, books, and maps,
but where were the beds for midmorning naps?
They colored and painted and played Simon Says,
then tumbled and skipped and stood on their heads.
They sang silly songs from beginning to end.
Within just a minute, each kid had a friend.
The children were happy. They loved Miss Sunrise
It was she who was in for a giant surprise.
When what to her wondering eyes should appear
but sad moms and dads who were holding back tears!
Their noses “ so sniffly!" Their eyes “ red and wet!"
This was the saddest good-bye Miss Sunrise had seen yet!
She gathered the grown-ups on the magical rug,
then sent them away after one final hug.
The children all waved from the door of the school.
"Don't cry, Mom and Dad; kindergarten is cool!"
~Natasha Wing

And so it goes...tomorrow our baby goes to kindergarten! God bless you Hannah, Mommy, Daddy and Emily love you so much!

Not a vacation...

2011-08-06T04:40:00.000-07:00

But a great place to visit ~ We are Grafted In is a wonderful resource for truths about life and about adoption. One of our posts is featured there now, feel free to visit and show some love :) Just click here.

Sakes alive...she is FIVE!

2011-06-03T14:02:00.000-07:00

Happy Birthday Hannah Leigh.

Hannah had a great year at school this year. She had the same teacher that Emily had when she was four. This was so comforting to me. She is a lovely lady. Her heart is most definitely poised to honor each and every child in her classroom.

When it came time for Hannah's conference earlier this year, I was excited to hear about how she was doing. Her teacher smiled and informed me how wonderfully Hannah was doing, she was a good friend, very sweet, sings a lot, participates and has all of her developmental goals in place. But she added admittedly that at the beginning, she found Hannah "hard to read". Hannah can be quiet, contemplative and even aloof. If you don't know her, chances are you don't see how captivating she can be.

Mrs. H offered, "When I stopped expecting her to be something she is not, that is when we got to know each other." I feel like there was an enormous amount of wisdom in her statement. I am thankful she didn't keep hoping for Hannah to be something different than she is. Hannah is a little girl who takes her time to trust...but once she does, she does it with her whole heart. Hannah is a great sport. She takes disappointment with grace and dignity. She will sit through hours of her sister's activities without complaining or whining. She is honest...sometimes too honest ;) She has an amazing laugh and will try just about anything...I love her spirit of adventure! Hannah LOVES to shop! And she is an unbelievable prayer warrior...not a day goes by that I am not humbled by this precious child.

Hannah, we love you sweetheart, every beautiful part of you. You have always been a beautiful flower...blooming, blossoming, growing...ever changing to allow the sunshine in and to allow your roots to grow. We grow because of you.

Hannah with her sweet friend, Emma and her brother, Matthew and with Nan and Em

As she graduated from preschool last week, I kept wondering how she ever got so big. She chose her own outfit for the day. She selected special earrings and a special necklace. I watched as she carried herself with grace, walking to the front of the room to receive her diploma. Her teacher held her hands and said beautiful things about our little girl. Afterwards, some of her teachers tearily waved goodbye, remembering the "wait" and calling after us that she couldn't possibly be that old already. But, she is. And it is in those moments, those big, milestone moments, that I am overwhelmed by the reality of Hannah. I am thankful to one very special woman, who graciously afforded us the blessing of seeing Hannah grow into the girl God wants her to be. I look forward to all of these miraculous moments with joy and anticipation...happy fifth birthday Hannah! You are Mommy's sweet little ladybug and I adore you!

And then, she was nine...

2011-05-15T23:00:00.000-07:00

Blessed be childhood, which brings down something of heaven into the midst of our rough earthliness.
-- Henri Frederic Amiel

Nine years ago, I had just begun labor. I was excited...electrically excited. Having lost Emily's twin early in the pregnancy, I just knew that she was going to be wildly wonderful and a survivor. What I did not bargain for was the way she would radically change absolutely everything. Emily entered this world on May 16th. A bundle of sheer joy with a cap of red hair and a smile she tried out at about five weeks old, Emily stole our hearts readily. She has been God's biggest miracle in our life.

It is no small thing that Emily is here. After the miscarriage of her twin, I was scheduled for a procedure to remove any scar tissue and make my uterus a kinder, happier place. We had no reason to believe there was any life remaining. However, the doctor requested an ultrasound to ensure the procedure was necessary. Part way through the ultrasound, the technician left the room and returned with a radiologist. The wand moved far enough for us to see the strong beating heart...we had lost one child, but God had spared the other. Thank you God!

Emily bound into this world with great joy. I don't think she has stopped smiling since then! Emily is obedient, almost to a fault. She believes in justice and desperately desires for justice to prevail. She is not at all afraid to share the love of Christ with others and she believes the best in people. Loyal and loving is how I would describe her. She adores her friends, and still has trouble naviagting some of the finer nuances of relationships. She gets completely intimidated if she feels something she has done may hurt a friend.

My very favorite Emily story happened when she was five. For Christmas, Emily asked to get her daddy a cross. I honored her request and got him a rather rustic cross. As a contractor, I knew he needed something that could withstand the dust, dirt and roughness he subjects his belongings to. He opened the gift and raved about it, but never wore it. About three months later, she asked him innocently why he never wore his beautiful cross.

His response,
"I am certainly not worthy to wear a cross."
Her response,
"That is exactly the point, dad! None of us are worthy..."

Not only was her daddy saved during this conversation, but his own spiritual journey began and it continues today.

Emily is a huge cheerleader. She lives out God's command to rejoice with those who rejoice and weep with those who mourn. She loves the stage and gets a tremendous amount of joy from singing and dancing. Her favorite Bible story is Noah's Ark and she has many favorite scriptures, which she can recite easily. She and her dear, dear friend, Gabrielle have disciplined themselves to read and study the Bible. This past April we looked on as both girls achieved an Award in Excellence for completing their Awana books and also achieving a perfect completion on their Gold assignments. Of all of Emily's accomplishments, this, by far resonates loudly as the one I pray remains with her always...God's truths are eternal.

Em's funny bone is bigger than she is. She loves a good joke. We call her cute way of saying things her "emmyisms"...she has a ton of them! Before bed, every night Emily loves to snuggle, play a game and do her devotions. She does her homework without us asking and asks hard questions that we can't always answer. There are places in her life where she struggles, but she has always been willing to work hard to get where she needs to go. I remember when she could not figure out riding a bike...now, we can't catch her.

Soon, we will cut those long red locks and donate them to Locks*of*Love. Part of me can't wait...part of me wishes I could bottle her just as she is.

Em has made me see things in myself that I don't want to see. She keeps me humbled and accountable. I love that. With Chrohn's, the doctor advised me my pregnancy with Emily would either kill me or cure me...personally, I think Emily saved me. She is a gift that I desired my whole life and God was gracious enough to grant me the desires of my heart.

Today, her ninth birthday, I give thanks to a great big God who gave me a precious red haired little girl to love....Em, you are my sunshine, now and always.

Happy Birthday Emily Grace!! We love you!!

Tangled

2011-04-01T20:02:00.000-07:00

We are HUGE fans of the movie Tangled.

But I have to be honest, the night we saw it in the theater, Rob and I both had a reaction to it. Not the giggly, happy one. No. It was a sadness...a reality and I now know it was God preparing us for something important.

We are in the midst of celebrating four wonderful years with sweet Hannah. Last week we celebrated the day Hannah became formally, fully, no-looking-back, no worries, forever our family member. An extension of us, Hannah is here through the great providence of a God who knew this was where she belonged and she was the child to grow our little family. Those first six months were not easy, they were rich with joy and blessedness, but they were not easy. Hannah struggled to accept an older sister who she perceived to threaten her. She rebuffed Emily's advances for love and many times rejected her,leaving Emily confused and disappointed. In hindsight, I am able to see more clearly how this impacted our family and all of our relationships. The girls would need to grow into one another and Rob and I would be left to navigate some pretty bumpy terrain to ensure we honored both of our children and validated the deep well of emotions stirring about our home.

Needless to say, our growing pains were just that, opportunities for growth...for ALL of us. God answered so many questions during that time and honored ME, the mommy, the imperfect, undeserving mommy of these two amazing children with a heart able to love to depths I did not know existed. Our ability to love unconditionally was paramount to successfully nurturing these precious little people into familial health that might not otherwise have been. Rob and I stood united, despite the years of waiting and preparing, our true journey began the day our family expanded. Even the hard days, when tears outnumbered smiles and impatience gave way to loads of imperfect responses, God showed up, assuring us that the answers to our questions would always be enveloped in His Word and His promises. He has always been near, guiding and marking our steps, that in our obedience, fruit would be seen in our family unit.

More times than not, I forget that Hannah was adopted into our family. Barring the occasional crooked glance or inappropriate grocery line question, we are a normal, loving family. I know each curve and crease of Hannah's face just the same as I know her sister's. I feel her pain deeper, stronger, more intensely than she would like me to. Her contagious, infectious laugh comes straight from her belly, welling up loudly; I would know her laugh anywhere. Her little thumbnails have ridges and her skin becomes ashy if we do not moisturize it. She is bold and courageous and sometimes, she is scared, abandoning the survival skills she has worked so hard to protect.

Tangled. Somewhere in the midst of knowing all these things about Hannah, there is a truth that cannot be changed. My children's stories are different. Emily cringes at the real life answers that are shared with Hannah when she dares to ask the hard questions. Emily knows my knowledge of her differs from my knowledge of her sister. And so, when the movie came out on DVD, and two little people begged and pleaded to add it to their collection, I was torn. I liked the movie, but there was a reservation in my heart about exposing Hannah, yet again, to a storyline about a child being raised by anyone other than birthparents. (Annie, Despicable Me, etc.) Yet, we have always trusted that Hannah is just part of our family and we will handle the hard things as they come...I don't want to plant seeds that accentuate the vast expanse of their differences. So, yes...Flinn and Rapunzel live with us now.

For our first viewing at home, we were munching snacks and dancing around the family room, when Hannah became very quiet, sat in my lap and hugged me as tight as her little body can muster. With just a glance, she whispered, "I don't want to go back to China, ever." At the tender age of four, Hannah had connected the dots well enough to know Rapunzel went back to the parents who had birthed her. I knew God had instinctively given me a heart to prepare for this. Based on our initial feelings, we had prayed and readied for this. Though I thought it may come much later, I was rather shocked at her intuitiveness and quite honestly, it changes my prayer life regarding Hannah. Not all children deal the same, not all adoptions look the same, not a one of us will experience our situation in the same way. I share this here, in transparency and love, because there are truths in adoption that are real. But, joyfully God has prepared us for these moments. If we sustain our children in His truth, there is no subject matter too difficult for Him.

I am so thankful she does not view me as Mother Gothall ;) quite the opposite, Hannah wants to know that this is forever. And so, I assure her, as long as there is breath in my body, she is my daughter. Even if the Lord would choose to take me home, she remains my daughter. I love her and cherish her in the way that God designed parents to love their children. Her daddy feels exactly the same way. We learned that unconditional spirit from the Master himself, and though we'd never profess perfection, we know His plan is perfect.

Our conversations may be tangled as we weave our way through difficult discussions, but they smooth out seamlessly when we commit our children to Him, remembering He trusted us. Ultimately, both of our children are HIS, loaned to us for such a short time. I pray that I serve BOTH of our children well in that all too short time.

On being chosen...

2011-03-10T19:54:00.000-08:00

I don't believe in coincidences.

I believe that God's hand rests steadily on all things.

For most of my life, I have dreamed of writing...I don't necessarily have a specific vision for it. It could be as simple as an article or as extensive as a book. Regardless of the location of text, I just know that words fall freely from my stream of consciousness. Joining with others through written word has always been a joy. Through our family blog, I have had the gift of reciprocity about profound and intimate subjects like adoption, parenting and faith. There have been times I am rendered "stuck" with nothing to write about, God will most times reveal something powerful meant for sharing.

I had been praying about throwing my hat in the ring for a chance at a scholarship opportunity that Lysa Terkurst is offering for She Speaks 2011. But in true Heather fashion, I thought of the many reasons I should not and kept moving. Who will take care of the children? What if I have no gift for writing? What if the timing of the conference conflicts with family vacation? What if I am chosen and every uber talented woman there views me with disdain? What if our bank account does not agree with my decision to go to a conference?

And then came one of the many nudges God gives me everyday.
It's not about YOU, Heather!
Huh? What? Ohhh, right.

I thought about the reality of being "chosen". We were chosen before we even knew it. We have been chosen to do His work, pen His devotionals, encourage friends and peers to more closely abide with Him, share our stories to His glory, get on our knees in accordance to His will. Nothing in this walk has been about my excuses, reasons or fears. They exist, but they do not define His call on my life. Being chosen...whether I am the happy recipient of a wonderful scholarship to sharpen my skills and meet new friends... or not, I am still chosen to share Him with the world. My task remains the same.

So, if I am to be chosen for a scholarship to attend this conference, I should let God decide. Sydney Smith, an English clergyman once said, "Regret for the things we did can be tempered by time; it is regret for the things we did not do that is inconsolable." It would sadden me to wake up and realize God's nudge had gone unattended to, or that my little hat filled with worry, caused me to allow an opportunity slip quietly away. If this is God's timing, I don't want to miss His blessing.

I could share the details of our life enumerating the reasons why this scholarship is critical to my attendance. God knows the details. It will be His choice and as much as I love reading each and every story to be shared, they are all worthy and all poignant. I have never been very good at competitive activities. I find myself cheering on each special lady destined for written and spoken greatness in His name.

So, here I am, hat in hand, trusting His perfect plan; wondering, is this the year He has planned for me to attend this spectacular life changing event?

I cannot say for sure, but I know I will not be left inconsolable with regret.

"Now to Him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to His power that is at work within us, to Him be the glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations for ever and ever! Amen." Ephesians 3:20-21

She Speaks is one of many ministries enveloped in the wonderful Proverbs 31 ministries. The conference is designed to equip women with the necessary tools and skills to share our faith boldly. God placed Proverbs 31 in my life almost three years ago when a dear friend invited me to her home for Bible Study. What a sweet invitation and what fruit has been found from this ministry in my life.

Celebrations Abound!

2011-02-06T11:56:00.000-08:00

When February blew in this year, I felt a bit overwhelmed with the amount of celebrating we have to do! Isn't that a beautiful thing?

Rob had a birthday. I met Rob at 32 years of age and married him a year later. We celebrate ten years of marriage this year. These years have been quite an adventure for us. We are both grateful, almost to tears, at the way God has transformed our marriage, our parenting, our life. Financially, we always struggle. I used to be sad to say that. Now, as I see the way those struggles have grown us, united us and forced us to make really difficult decisions, I am grateful for them. I am thankful for a husband that has endorsed our choice to be a family first and everything else second. It has not been an easy road, but continues to be a worthwhile one. I am thankful for a husband who works hard, not only is he in the business of manual labor, but he NEEDS to be customer focused. Sometimes for this shy guy, that presents it's challenges, but as his wife, I like seeing him stretch and grow. He stepped waaaayyyy out of his box this winter to assist a dear friend in coaching basketball for Emily's team. I am proud of him. His relationship with Emily has deepened tremendously. Watching him love on those kids and try to learn something he knows nothing about really blesses me. The kids on the team made him cards for his birthday...I watched him open each one. There is nothing quite so humbling or precious as the heart of a grown man evolving right before you.

I think the biggest celebration for me, is the milestone of 50 happily married years for my parents. I adore my parents. Adore! They raised us well. They made mistakes, I am sure they did, but I cannot, for the life of me, think of them. My aunt asked my mother what she loves about my father - his undying faith, his work ethic and the way he has always "taken care of everything". My father said that he loves my mother's unbridled compassion. If you knew their story, it would seem unlikely they'd be as warm, compassionate and selfless as they are, but God truly had a plan there and I am so grateful my brother and I were part of it. Mark and I hosted an intimate dinner party to celebrate with them. I had originally desired a huge splashy party with all their friends and relatives...God's plan to honor them looked different, and I am so thankful. We all enjoyed the tender closeness of our immediate family...it felt like home. My parents were overflowing with gratitude and we could not have wanted for more. Happy Anniversary, Mommy and Daddy, we love you so much!

And February 1 brings the anniversary of the day we heard the words, "We have your referral. Your daughter is from Jiangxi Province and her name is Xiao Wei Feng." I saw her face for the very first time and knew without a shadow of a doubt she was meant to be part of our family. Hannah has taught me about love in ways I never dreamt. I am wildly protective of Hannah, while also being able to see her in her rawest form and accept and appreciate every little nuance that makes her Hannah. Hannah is lovely, from her adorable little gap in her smile to her dimples that melt even the hardest of hearts; but it is her soul that intrigues me. Her perfect olive skin may captivate my eyes but her depth, breadth and complexity inspire me and make me a better mother than I ever imagined being. She and Emily fight, but that same passion that makes them competitive, makes them fiercely devoted to one another. Hannah lends her sister strength and tenacity, while Emily softens the rough places and teaches her younger counterpart about grace and mercy.

Nothing can ever prepare us for the sheer joy of motherhood. It is as close a glimpse of heaven as I can imagine. SO today, I am thankful for the man who helped me become a mother and his life that we celebrate, for the mother and father who raised me to be who I am, and their fifty loving, faithful years together and for the daughters who continue to bless, stretch, refine and keep me accountable. God blessed me when he allowed me to carry one below my heart and carry the other within it...both ARE the very heart of me.

Housekeeping

2011-01-27T12:06:00.000-08:00

This was a post I placed on the Titus 2 in Action blog, but felt convicted to place it here too. Enjoy. :)

I like the daily chores of housekeeping. Please, folks do not lob scores of angry rotten tomatoes at me with this confession or call and ask me to be at your home in ten minutes. The truth is, I enjoy serving my family. One of my favorite scriptures,

"Whatever you do, do it all for the glory of God." 1 Corinthians 10:31

came to my attention early in my domestic life and it has stuck. However, over the years, the expectations would change several times. As my responsibilities increased, I would find myself aggitated and condemning when I could not scratch off each item on my "to do" list in a certain amount of time. Each change and transition has presented it's own challenges.

This week, the challenges seemed huge as the appliances revolted rendering our family can-opener-less, hot water heater-less AND washer-less. I found myself praying...praying for the provision to be able to replace our modern conveniences, praying for forgiveness for counting so dearly on the things of the world and praying for a miracle that would help me complete my chores in a timely fashion.

My husband graciously researched hot water heaters and he was able to get us one that would fill the void. He installed it himself into the wee hours of our normal Friday Night Family night. Thankful, I was able to take a hot shower less than three hours after it was installed. Having missioned in places where no hot water exists, it is a daily thanksgiving I offer up to the Lord each and every time I step into the shower, "Thank you Lord, for hot water." Prayers answered.

When the washing machine began hissing, whirring and stomping clear across the laundry room the next day, it was not a happy moment. Faced with the prospect of yet another heavy bill, my husband and I looked at each other tenuously. We prayed...we prayed for a soution other than a new washing machine. January for a contractor is never pretty. Though we are grateful for work, January always tends to be slower with smaller jobs and slower payment on finished jobs post Christmas reverie. I had to figure out how to get the laundry done outside our sunny, yellow laundry room. The Lord provided yet another opportunity to be thankful and praise His name for the long time we had enjoyed this washing machine and the convenience it brings to our lives.

After we prayed, we visited an appliance dealer to find our replacement washer. We agreed that if the current washer could not be fixed, we would find a way to finance the new one. In obedience, my husband checked the internet for potential problems with this washing machine. Praise God for Rob's discernment, he located a small part that breaks off the machines and ordered a new one readily. The new one was installed and the washer is working great! Praise!

I would have been anxious to buy new, releasing the old one, but also potentially releasing the Lord's will for this situation. Even in our housekeeping, God is alive and working. I was humbled not only by God's quick response but also by my own short sightedness in trusting that God is capable of far more than I can imagine. We are assured in Psalm 37:4 "Take delight in the Lord and He will give you the desires of your heart."

"And my God will fully satisfy every need of yours according to His riches in glory in Christ Jesus. To our God and Father be glory forever and ever." Phillipians 4:19
Though this verse speaks to God's promise to fulfill the needs of the Phillipians, the promise here is that God will supply “all” the needs of the Philippians, not just some of them. Whether our need is temporal or spiritual, God will meet it.
When the glory is given to Him; when we trust His promises and seek Him first, the Lord will not allow us to remain in want. No detail is too small, even the daily rigor of housekeeping is not too small for our Lord.

May God provide perfect provision for you in all things.
Be encouraged and blessed.

Wordless Wednesday (It's Snow Fun!)

2011-01-26T05:23:00.000-08:00

I Have a Dream...

2011-01-23T21:10:00.001-08:00

After we drop Emily off at school on Mondays, Hannah and I have a standing date. We usually get a bite to eat and do a few errands. We both look forward to this time.

While eating a piece of candy and singing Veggie Tales tunes, Hannah said quietly,

"Mommy, I have a dream."

We all know I asked what her dream was.

Her answer?

"To grow up just like my sister. Now, isn't that a great dream, Mom?"

Yes, Hannah. That IS a great dream.

Even though, I LOVE their differences; it always blesses me when they appreciate each other's gifts. Our girls know we want them to be only what God wants them to be. As they grow and discover what that is, I will take each moment like this one and relish it for it's beauty and significance. Initially adversaries, it is a treasure to witness God's love in their relationship and see what He can do, where we cannot. I daily pray that their sisterhood deepens, in each and every way.

A sister is a gift to the heart, a friend to the spirit, a golden thread to the meaning of life - Isadora James

Join me for a spot of tea...

2010-12-29T11:19:00.000-08:00

Ladybugs. Dots. Spots... I am hoping the blog will undergo some changes in 2011. I'm considering a new look and even some added components.

In the meantime, our family is still basking in the afterglow of a beautiful and memorable Christmas season. I am so thankful for the traditions that make this time of year so special. Most of all, I am thankful for the birth of a saviour. A tiny baby born that our hearts may be worthy of forgiveness and grace, an infant gift that has saved me from my sin and washed me clean of the imperfections that could destroy me. Instead, those pieces of myself are what helps me cling to Him, seeking His will, instead of my own. I love celebrating Christmas, every single aspect of it. I love lit candles in the windows, trees filled with baubles that tell the tales of our lives one fragment of time by one fragment of time. Yes, I even love Santa Claus and the eternal hope that is built when humans look past their own needs to meet the needs of others.

Tea. Once a year, at Christmas, we venture into the city to a lovely hotel that I may never actually stay in to enjoy the warmth and beauty of the season. I LOVE taking my mother, who not only drinks tea daily but still values the sentimental goodness of dressing up and stealing a few hours to just be. At tea. Together.

I love that Hannah had her first exposure to tea this year and LOVED every moment, from slipping on her green velvet dress to plopping at least a million marshmellows into her tiny cup of hot chocolate. I love that we go with timeless friends, the kind that you pray you will be with forever. The friends that you go to when prayer is needed and when oxygen is necessary...and they bring their family, and you recognize the lost art of being with people this way, no stress, no worries, just tea and thee and the Christmas tree. It is by far one of the most Mary moments during a Martha season. I am thankful the Lord grants us those opportunities to relish our relationships, not only with Him but with others who touch our lives and bless our hearts.

Just one of the many traditions that have humbled us this season, I hope to post a bit more about the past few weeks. Thank you, as always for visiting us here. Praying your Christmas was blessed beyond measure.

The Christmas Jar

2010-11-23T12:00:00.000-08:00

Driving down the road, not long ago, we passed a casino. Emily read the sign and asked me to define casino. I did. Her response?

Wouldn't it be amazing, Mom, if people took all that change and filled Christmas jars instead? Yep, I'm with you Em.

Two years ago, we began a new tradition. In the days leading up to Christmas, we place a jar on the kitchen counter. Every lick of spare change gets dropped into our jar and we commit to pray for the family God wants to have this extra bit of encouragement. It is a tangible, do-able way for our family to bless another family at the most joyful time of the year.

Last year, God literally showed us a miracle in our Christmas jar.

We had visited the city for the day. Our train was not scheduled to leave for some time, so we sat on a bench at the top of the steps leading to our track. As we sat chatting, Emily asked who would receive our jar. I had a specific family in mind and felt convicted that they were to receive the gift, regardless of the fact I did not know if they "needed" the jar. As we chatted about our prayers and who God had revealed to receive the jar, I watched, stunned as the very family God had laid on my heart came up the steps and walked past us in the station. There was no mistaking our confirmation to bless them. You see, they were not there to take in the sights and sounds of Christmas, they were there because they had no other way to get to the city to visit a family member who had just had a very serious surgery.

Hannah napped on Daddy while we chatted on the bench

Late, late, late Christmas Eve, we pulled up to their home and my kind husband, shimmied up the ice laden drive to leave the jar, with just a bow and warm wishes for God to bless them beyond measure.

We don't share our experience for any sort of accolade; this was not our idea. Somewhere along the line, this beautiful ministry was shared with us and we answered the call. We share it now with you, that others might do the same, pay it forward, extend the body of Christ past our own doorways and driveways.

Go ahead, run out to the recycling bin...I am sure there must be a jar in there! :)

The Value of an Apology

2010-11-14T19:06:00.000-08:00

"If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness." 1 John 1:9

Our younger daughter was playing. She happily settled at the couch where our cockapoo puppy was blissfully sleeping. Without much warning, in a sweep of her little hand, our daughter shocked the puppy as she pushed her from the couch to make more room. My husband and I looked on in disbelief. Just as grown ups are sinners, desperately in need of the mercy of a loving and forgiving father, so now was our daughter in need of forgiveness from her parents and from her trusted pet, who looked up at her quite surprised by her actions.

A quote from a famous movie says, "Love means never having to say you are sorry." WRONG! Quite the contrary, love means accepting accountability and also offering to one we have offended a verbal demonstration of a heavy heart, burdened by our sin.

To read on, please click here

This Little Piggy...

2010-11-01T08:46:00.000-07:00

Blesses my heart...

Makes my heart swell with joy...

Reminds me to think outside the box...

Is a faithful prayer warrior...

Lights up our world!

Blessings from a Friend

2010-11-01T08:40:00.001-07:00

"Therefore encourage one another and build each other up..."
1 Thessalonians 5:11

Until I had my first child, I had never experienced the true gift of a homecooked meal.

Delivered.

To my home.

For me.

Just because.

To read on, please click here

You're Never Fully Dressed Without a Smile

2010-10-18T10:31:00.001-07:00

"A cheerful look brings joy to the heart and good news refreshes the body." Proverbs 15:30

I remember my very first dance recital. I had just turned eight years old. Dressed in a little black tutu and lace accessories, I tippity tapped onstage to this wonderful song from the musical, "Annie". Many times, over the years, I have found myself thinking back to the words from this tune, "...it's what you wear from ear to ear and not from head to toe, that matters..."

To read the rest of this post, click here

Little Love Notes

2010-10-01T21:25:00.000-07:00

Since Em was a very young child, I have written her love notes. When she could not read, I'd draw little pictures. I'd leave them on her nightstand, in her lunch box, in her school bag, in her pencil box at school. She has always loved them.

In fact, when she was in first grade, which proved to be a really challenging year, I wrote her notes on her napkin each and everyday. One morning, she asked me sheepishly to stop. Not wanting to upset her or embarrass her, I did as she requested. Her teacher pulled me into the classroom one day, and asked me to look in her pencil box...there they were, every single one. She didn't have any more room. I figured she threw them away each day, but no, she kept them. Sweet girl.

Em and I are blessed to spend some of our days in the same building. The Lord has granted me a wonderful job that I love. I feel called to serve Him and only God could have orchestrated this position for me. It just so happens, it is at Emily's school. Because of the sensitive nature of materials in and on my desk, I cover it when the school will be used for church functions. Imagine my delight when I pulled the cover off to find this little ditty...

A few days ago, I pulled down the covers to go to bed and noticed Emily's camel Web*kin on my nightstand. Our puppy, Maggie had chewed the tail clear off. Accompanying the maimed camel, was a note..."For you, Mommy to sow. He is my favrite. E " Yet another love note. A joy for me to fix her camel, but it touches my spirit to share this tradition. Whether we share through spoken word, written word or heartfelt word, we share. And I love that.

She is a love note God wrote to me. A daily reminder of his providence and provision. Hannah is just about the age Em was when we began this tradition...I think I will go find a post it...

Not Sure I am Ready...

2010-09-19T19:12:00.000-07:00

for all the growing up they are doing!!

Both of our ladybugs have returned to school. Emily is in the third grade and Hannah is a happy Pre-K student! I am so thankful for the way that they are growing. Their teachers this year are lovely. I am going to attempt a little walk down memory lane with our first day of school pictures...

Emily, first day of third grade - September 8, 2010

With her third grade teacher, Mrs. Barnhart

Emily, first day of second grade - September, 2009

Emily, first day of first grade - September, 2008

Hannah, first day of Pre-K, 4 years old - September 14, 2010

Hannah, first day of Three Year Old Class, September, 2009

Hannah, first day of Two Year Old Class, September 2008

"All of life is a constant education." Eleanor Roosevelt

Grains of Sand, Waves of Power

2010-09-06T08:28:00.000-07:00

I have been blessed to be a contributor to a Christian blog, Titus 2 In Action. This is such a priviledge for me and I pray that God speaks through me to touch hearts.

"Now to Him who is able to do immeasurably more than we ask or imagine, according to His power that is at work within us, to Him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever! Amen." Ephesians 3:20-21

This has been our mantra this year. Truly, I pray this scripture every single day. Sometimes once a day during my quiet time and sometimes, it is a constant prayer that reminds me, I am not in control. This week, I was reminded in even more tangible ways that I am most definitely not in control.

It is no secret to those who know me that I LOVE the beach. I adore the quiet moments with my children, the joy of doing things in slow motion as opposed to the frenetic pace we keep with jobs and activities. Nowhere on earth do I feel such a sense of calm and oneness with God as I do when I am toe to toe with sand and surf. Regardless of the weather, the beach is my sanctuary.

To read more of this post, you can visit here

Time to bid summer farewell...

2010-08-22T19:57:00.000-07:00

"Time is not a commodity, something you pass around like cake. Time is the substance of life. When anyone asks you to give your time, they are really asking for a chunk of your life." Antoinette Bosco

Sigh...

Here it is again. I feel like it was only yesterday the summer loomed hot and long ahead of us. I looked at the calendar, wondering what we would do with all the glorious free time. I dreamed of late mornings sleeping in, cuddling with the ladybugs, trips to the farmers' market, plenty of corn on the cob and friends to go with. Most of those things we actually accomplished, though not as often as I would have liked!

And now, I look behind us, thankful for all the days spent with friends, the fun activities that made this summer special and wondering what ever happened to that free time???

Dare I say that I am slightly (ever so slightly) even looking forward to the schedule of school?

As we sat watching Toy Story 3 this weekend, I actually cried. Ugly cry, people. My mind wandered to a time when my own daughters will outgrow the comfort and giddiness of toys and play things and replace them with lip gloss, pedicures and concerts. I let my head drift to a time when boys will knock on our door and Sunday evenings will incorporate Youth Group and mission planning. I looked down the row and sitting several seats away from me was my eight year old daughter, rapt with attention sporting a sweet American Girl shirt, that will in time, become too childish for our flaming redhead. Alarmed, I realized I had seen the first Toy Story with my nephew, ANDY, who is now 21 and a junior in college. And the core of the movie, hit just a little too close to home!

But it made me really grateful. Grateful for time. Emily went to a birthday party this evening and as we were leaving she thanked me for bringing her to the party. She thanked me! And all I could think was that I thank her for being my child. Many times during the course of this summer, we would be driving to the next scheduled event and I would glance back to see the girls bee bopping about in the back seat and I felt such gratitude for those moments we could share. So, even though I feel my pants size has increased due to the amount of time spent stagnant in the drivers seat of our vehicle, I would not trade the new friends, old friends, fireworks, baseball games, singing lessons, dance camp, mini camp, playgrounds, VBS, missionary training, playdates, science camp, fellowship, and so on!

We still have two short weeks to breathe in the summer air, one of which we plan to spend at the beach.

I pray you have had a good summer and that God has given you and your family peace about returning to the classroom.

See this face?

2010-08-16T12:30:00.001-07:00

This is a happy face! And there are so many of these little faces desperately desiring the smile that comes from the security of family and roots.

This child was brought to us through the gift of adoption. Though we do not live constantly reinforcing the fact that Hannah came from China; she knows her story.

We tell it like it is.
She knows this.
Her sister also knows this.

As parents, we have already had difficult conversations that highlight the reality that Hannah came to us through a miracle...a miracle that changed our lives and convicts our hearts to always and forever try to unite other forever families and children.

My dear friend Michelle, is an adoptive mama that has made a difference. She has worked tirelessly on a calendar that will benefit children and families alike. Please visit Michelle, offer your support and pray about all of the children needing and wanting families of their very own.

I am off to order my calendars!! :)

On being married...

2010-08-04T20:58:00.000-07:00

Now you will feel no rain, For each of you will be shelter to the other.
Now you will feel no cold, For each of you will be warmth to the other.
Now there is no more loneliness, For each of you will be companion to the other.
Now you are two bodies, But there is one life before you.
Go now to your dwelling place, To enter into the days of your togetherness.
And may your days be good and long upon the earth.
~ Apache Wedding Prayer Blessing

When we were married nine years ago, I asked one of the officiating pastors and a long time friend to incorporate this blessing into our ceremony. He did so gladly.

I thought it was beautiful.

I still do.

And, I assumed that it was an ancient Indian prayer historically connected to the Apache culture.

I was wrong. It is actually linked to a movie associated with the Apache's called Broken Arrow. We live and we learn :)

Marriage is like my experience with the prayer. We go into it thinking one thing and learn that there is so much more to it. Our culture glorifies and celebrates marriage for the celebration itself. However, it often occurs to me on those dark nights when the children are sick, or when critters come a callin', I have Rob to lean on. And he has me. It is the way that God designed.

When our finances look bleak and the house is in disrepair, I look to him. And he looks to me. When we sit at a dance recital or ready for our youngest to head back to preschool, he shares his joy with me and I with him.

And all along, in every circumstance, we do our best to trust it not unto ourselves. Thus we have grown, and we have faith in a God far bigger than any of the dreams we began this marriage with.

Marriage does not mean blissful days filled with total agreement. It just doesn't. There are days where that exists, but not all the time. We were not wired that way. We are called to be unconditional and fortunately, we are designed to be able to accomplish this task. However, we only achieve this only through another committed relationship, that of our intimate relationship with the Lord.

Marriage is an ever-changing, ongoing event. Sometimes, there is silence. And volumes are spoken. Sometimes, there is endless noise. And nothing is accomplished. Sometimes, we bicker, fight, gripe, moan, whine, complain, heavily sigh, challenge, regret, and even forget. We forget the love we began with, we forget the respect necessary for a good marriage, we forget to be unconditional in loving our spouses. And if we are blessed, our spouses forgive us and we forgive them. It is as it was designed. We think it is about us...ultimately, it is about Him.

And sometimes, like today, we do not take for granted the gift that has been given in the union of two people for His purpose, raising some pretty spectacular children. I take this moment to be grateful...for a husband who provides, for a husband who loves me, for a husband who loves our children far more than he could ever love himself, for a husband who loves the Lord and desires to know him better, for all of these things, I am grateful.

Happy Anniversary, Rob. How quickly these nine years have gone...how much I look forward to all the years that will follow...

Have you ever danced in the rain?

2010-07-23T12:35:00.000-07:00

I have.

More so since becoming a mother, but the following is when it all started...

Years ago, I was blessed with the responsibility of directing the youth ministries of my home church. It was a job that I fought tooth and nail against, hoping to remain in the safe cocoon of support ministries and not the actual, ahem, "leader"! But alas, God won, and there I was staring down the barrel of activities galore with oodles of youth ages 12 and up. I remember our very first meeting when there were probably fifteen children in attendance and I swear that evening I actually heard the crickets chirp as I giddily tried to enthuse those 15 warm bodies that sat staring and waiting for my grand plan. Blink...blink...blink...chirp!

Being young helped. My zest for life helped. My faith and perserverance helped. But, I think what really drew kids in was my total and complete committment to whatever interested them. I was there. I made my way to football games, swim meets, dance recitals, marathons, spelling bees, you name it, I was there. Over the fence, in the bleachers, in the audience, I was there. I prayed for these kids encouraged them, and before long fifteen kids would turn into 150. I wanted them to know that God loved them so much, that He would send a servant to be there for them, no matter what. I wanted them to know that it was all about Him and had absolutely NOTHING to do with us. I wanted their first response when a team member was injured to kneel and pray...I wanted their sportsmanship to be apparent regardless of the situation, I wanted their parents to know, they were not in this alone, that together, we would raise these children up as God had intended.

I was not a parent. I was young and sadly enough, newly single as a troubled marriage unwound. This ministry became glue that would hold me together as I weathered personal storms that could have broken my spirit. God knew. He knew what I would need just as much as He knew what the children would need, and so we had FUN! Lots of it, camps, zip lines, ski trips, low ropes, high ropes, devotionals, fellowship, progressive dinners, rafting, retreats and every now and again the joyful, undignified dance in the rain...the list is long and beautifully filled with memories that prayerfully remain not only with me but with each child I was blessed to know.

I was an advocate for youth, insisting on youth services (led and designed by the youth groups) and all of those children attended church on Sunday morning, marching in usually a tad bit late, but nonetheless sitting in the sanctuary, listening to sermons we would discuss later, and taking notes on scripture that I prayed would become indispensible to everyday of their lives. It was during one such Sunday, that I was scheduled to give the message and I asked them all "to dance". The Leanne Womack phenomenon was in full swing and "I Hope You Dance" was on every station from here to California. Certain words to the song resonated deep within my heart to reveal truth that God wants us to live boldly in Him, to experience life in it's fullness, and to never take for granted the gift He gave. In many ways, my role with those youth has helped prepare me for motherhood.

So, it stands to reason as stormy skies swept in this week, I did not hesitate as my own girls approached me and asked excitedly..."Can we dance in the rain?"

Of course...only if Mommy can come with you :)

"May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in Him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit." Romans 15:13

SURPRISE!

2010-07-11T19:49:00.000-07:00

"No one has ever seen this, and no one has ever heard about it. No one has ever imagined what God has prepared for those who love him." 1 Corinthians 2:9

A surprised Emily on her eighth birthday this past spring

Yes, I am still here. It is interesting how the newest trend can impact the biggest part of one's life. I used to carefully, with great anticipation, create posts worthy of the sweet readers that visit our blog. I'd choose scripture and photos, I'd proofread and proofread again. Our blog began as a means by which to share our life, as we added a new family member through the gift of adoption. It is no secret, I adored blogging. But, I would ask myself many times...at what price am I blogging?

The past year, I began to work more, sometimes full time. Blogging...well, there was no time for that. If I was going to have quiet time with the Lord or facebook or singularly host the laundry list of other daily activities that demanded my attention, how on earth would I blog? Well, that is a really good question, because this year, for the first time in three years, I was presented with a new issue, where is all the time going? My children would say, "You are on the computer too much." My husband would concur and even my parents have made mention of my less than healthy computer mania that diverts my thoughts and splinters precious time.

As much as ceasing to blog may solve one problem, it would create another...the truth is, I LOVE to write. I especially love to write when the thoughts will be provoking, insightful and perhaps even make someone think or act when they otherwise may not have. I think God has equipped me to gently minister to the hearts of others through writing. Written word is powerful. In some ways, though shocking in our technological mecca, we have lost the art of effective communication. We email a friend, rather than speaking voice to voice, we type out sketchy text messages to thank a girlfriend for the wonderful gift she left on our doorstep, long gone are the gliding handstrokes of a penned letter to an aunt, a sister, a friend. Well, not completely. But I am guilty of sometimes travelling the heavily trodden road, instead of trusting my instinct that insists an eloquently written note would be far better than my lesser efforts.

I will continue to post entries here, though I must admit, I feel convicted to share more than just a personal family history here. I feel like this is a good place to deposit some of the wisdom imparted on me through the Truth I love more dearly than writing, blogging or even taking and posting pictures. Sure, my family will still appear here, but it is important I note, now that Emily is older, sometimes she will specifically say, "This is private Mommy, please do not share this." I honor that. I honor her heart and the privacy that is our children's, even if it means I need to re-write something I love. I love her more.

I chose the title, "Surprise" very specifically. Recently, my parents' pastor was relocated to a new church. We do not attend their church as members, we are merely visitors because we have a home church. Yet, everytime we attended the four years he was there, not one time did he ever miss an opportunity to invite us back and make us feel welcomed. On Easter Sunday, his sermon was entitled, "Surprise!" With great animation, he discussed the "surprise factor" of Easter. The joy....the sheer miracle of a surprise as grand as Christ rising from the dead. If I could convey via blog post the energy and joy, I most certainly would, but I can not. There is something I can do, in Pastor Sunil's honor...I can make you feel welcome here. I can invite you back. I can let you know, you are not a visitor, you are a friend, whether you have been here once or fifty times, I value you and your comments.

So, though it may be a surprise that I am back and ready to post again, it is not a surprise that God has big plans. As much as we relish in the surprise of His resurrection, we must also relish each surprise of everyday...the small ones and the large ones...the ones we know about and those yet to be revealed.

Did you have a surprise today? I would love to know about it.

Where the Sidewalk Ends...

2010-05-04T20:07:00.000-07:00

There is a place where the sidewalk ends
And before the street begins,
And there the grass grows soft and white,
And there the sun burns crimson bright,
And there the moon-bird rests from his flight
To cool in the peppermint wind.

Let us leave this place where the smoke blows black
And the dark street winds and bends.
Past the pits where the asphalt flowers grow
We shall walk with a walk that is measured and slow,
And watch where the chalk-white arrows go
To the place where the sidewalk ends.

Yes we'll walk with a walk that is measured and slow,
And we'll go where the chalk-white arrows go,
For the children, they mark, and the children, they know
The place where the sidewalk ends. Shel Silverstein

I love soft spring nights. Emily and I have begun to walk at night again. I love the company. We talk about everything; school, friends, time, when she was a baby, prayer. She joyfully holds my hand and confesses things I did not know. She will break free every now and again and run ahead. Red hair flying in the breeze, bruised knees leading her. She smiles her big, warm smile and says kind things to neighbors who are out tending their yards.

Tonight, she ran ahead and then stopped quickly. She waited and when I got to her she asked sweetly if we could go to the very end of the street, "where the sidewalk ends". And though she was asking literally, figuratively, I am so glad when we go where there is no path and create a new one. I love to adventure with her. The years are numbered for the childlike wonder that now blesses our days. God's design was so perfect to permit such a time as this, to jump from the hard, unchanging cement of the sidewalk to explore the soft yielding grass and flowers that await where the sidewalk ends. I feel like God does this with my heart; requesting that I soften and expose that He might create a new path, and adventure with me.

Emily will be turning eight next week...how thankful I am for a time such as this.

Rooted

2010-04-07T20:32:00.000-07:00

"To be rooted is perhaps the most important and least recognized need of the human soul." ~ Simone Weil

So, Hannah and I were walking the other day.

Holding hands.

Smiling, actually laughing a bit.

And I innocently say to her, "You are my beautiful little ladybug."

To which she replies, "And you, mama are my daisy."

Speaks volumes, doesn't it?

"...so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith — that you, being rooted and grounded in love, may have strength to comprehend with all the saints what is the breadth and length and height and depth, and to know the love of Christ that surpasses knowledge, that you may be filled with all the fullness of God." Ephesians 3:17-19

A Blessed Easter to All

2010-04-04T00:00:00.000-07:00

"He is not here; he has risen, just as he said. Come and see the place where he lay. Then go quickly and tell his disciples: 'He has risen from the dead and is going ahead of you into Galilee. There you will see him.' Now I have told you."

So the women hurried away from the tomb, afraid yet filled with joy, and ran to tell his disciples. Suddenly Jesus met them. "Greetings," he said. They came to him, clasped his feet and worshiped him. Then Jesus said to them, "Do not be afraid. Go and tell my brothers to go to Galilee; there they will see me." Matthew 28:6-10

Easter is by far my most favorite holiday. Representing newness in every fashion, I am ever mindful of the sacrifice of Jesus and the assurances that His promises are for real! I am thankful, so very thankful. Our family wishes you and your family a blessed and beautiful holiday. May the remembrance of Christ's sacrifice and miracle bring you boundless joy and freedom this day...

GOTCHA!

2010-03-26T00:00:00.000-07:00

The civil affairs building was crowded and warm inside. Mommies and daddies nervously paced, rubbed their hands together, craned their necks, straining to see that first glimpse of their newest family member.

And there she was. Jim was on the phone with me. I could hear the muffled sounds of voices, voices speaking quickly. Mandarin. Translators. Jim was speaking in short choppy sentences, "Ooh, they are coming over. Oh, wait, well I see her. She is beautiful. She looks okay, content." Like balm to a wound, Jim's words helped soothe my mommy's heart. I was not there. My husband graciously, bravely awaited our daughter being handed to him. He was nervous, very nervous. Yet, he rose to the occasion. Big time.

Friends kindly yelled into the phone describing the scene...I certainly felt like I was there. Hannah's nanny had trouble letting go...I would have too. I mean, she's Hannah. Our Hannah.

Fever-stricken and frightened, Hannah rallied, daring to trust the two American men.

And those men rocked the house, caring for a sick baby girl. Loving on her, feeding her, cleaning her, getting those first smiles, giggles, belly laughs. They'd bounce Cheerios on her tray, praying she would learn to put them in her mouth. They stood her up and played peek a boo. And Hannah began to trust.

Fast forward. Yes, fast is the operative word..it has gone so quickly. Three years have passed and Hannah daily surprises us, amazes us, reels us in. She is wise and wild, shy and sure of what she wants, funny and fun to be around, bold and louder than the loudest sound in the room. She has learned how to love and be loved.

Something happens when a child enters our world. A heart that once was worn on the inside takes a new home and plants itself firmly on the outside, revealing the transparency that transcends all other things, the love of parenthood.

Happy Gotcha Day Hannah Leigh, we are so very thankful God chose us to be your family forever and ever.

Black and White Wednesday

2010-03-24T14:07:00.000-07:00

Taken last summer when we joined friends for a day of fruit and vegetable picking at a local orchard, it is one of my all-time favorite pictures of Hannah. The day was rather windy and I turned to catch her running across the field. Oh how I am looking forward to days like these after the long, cold winter!

Black and White Wednesday

2010-03-17T07:54:00.000-07:00

Before I begin today's post, a huge shout out to my friend, Sharon! Sharon is celebrating a birthday on this most greenest of days :) I love her heart for the Lord, her amazing sense of humor, her wildly compassionate spirit, her abundant joy in giving, her sense of discipleship among people and her true gift for hospitality. Sharon, may you have many more blessed birthdays. I am so thankful for your friendship.

I have not yet participated in Lisa's Black and White Wednesday, but as the sun was shining and spring felt on the verge of emerging, I felt inspired. Last year around this time, we went on our annual Adoption Reunion. Our family LOVES this weekend. We will be travelling soon to reunite with our adoption family yet again.

As our group left each other, fulfilled from time well-spent, our family decided we wanted to make a little side trip on the way home. We stopped in Hershey, PA for an unexpected day of plain old family fun. This picture is in front of our tour bus. The old fashioned buses have that vintage appeal and though the picture has no true glorious properties to it, I just liked it. The "conductor" placed his hat on Em's head just as I was about to snap the picture and both girls were blissfully happy that day with the surprise of going somewhere to frolic, rather than just returning straight home.

You can go here to see the many Black and White Wednesday masterpieces others have to share! Lisa posted today on when she and Pat were engaged. If you haven't met Lisa, she is a real lady. Talented beyond belief and a testimony to touch the hardest of hearts, she is a friend and a mentor.

Happy Wednesday!

Cleaning up the Messes

2010-03-14T20:15:00.000-07:00

"...for the Lord does not see as mortals see; they look on the outward appearance, but the Lord looks on the heart." 1 Samuel 16:7

Years ago, I listened on Christmas Eve as our beloved pastor spoke quietly in a darkened sanctuary. He began his message, "It was a mess. It was not a clean and tidy evening. It was a mess." He went on to describe what a barn birth must have been like.

Animals. Manger. Baby. Precious Baby.

I vividly remember that message, the way he began, "It was a mess." So often I feel like a mess. I rush and scurry, moving place to place and juggling the schedule of an active seven year old with the constant motion of an active three year old. Definitely do-able, but sometimes a mess.

I looked in my purse today to find a mess, receipts from grocery shopping, several penned notes needing to be mailed, stamps, my calendar and address book, dried out from a drop in a puddle as the snow melted, delicately scribbled with the artistry of the seven year old and the three year old. I thought briefly about tossing the address/date book in the garbage, the pages were stuck together, ink had run down the pages, nothing legible. It is worth keeping, but it is a mess.

I salvaged a coupon or two. I gathered up pens and batteries and savings cards. I replaced all the contents of my wallet, where they belong. I was busily cleaning up the mess.

And then I found it. A small notebook. In it were several pages filled with notes. One had pictures of Jesus turning water into wine, one had notes on love and forgiveness. One had the name Hannah written six or seven times and a heart with the words "for mommy". I did not recognize the little notebook. My mother must have handed it to the girls during church one Sunday. And amongst the mess, I discovered a precious treasure. Inside that messy purse was a golden nugget, a gift that I will keep to give our daughters. Definitely worth keeping!

My mother often says that there should be order in your sanctuary, where you spend your quiet time, there needs to be order. I have quiet time in our bedroom. But I glanced around the bedroom this evening to see the wall that was torn down over two years ago, still a mess. There was a laundry basket with some whites that needed to be folded, my laptop, a dog toy or two, a basket of bills...a mess. I could not do anything with the wall, so I accepted the thing I could not change and began to change the things I could. And as good as that felt, the reality is I still have the mess of my heart to clean up. SO many things worth keeping, but most certainly a mess. Like what God does with our hearts; we are worth keeping, but we come to Him a mess.

It is ongoing...that mess. Our hearts. We need to clean them daily. Searching them for broken pieces and proud moments, kneading them like clay and allowing God to work in them. Drywall and trashcans won't heal the messes of our hearts but the Word of the Lord will.

Come quiet time at night, I will be more committed to cleaning not just the physical space, but the cobwebs and muddy places in my heart.

"Create in me a clean heart, O God, and put a new and right spirit within me." Psalm 51:10

Are there places in your heart God is just waiting to spring clean?

Thankful Thursday

2010-03-11T17:57:00.000-08:00

Therefore, as God's chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. Colossians 3:12

Last Thursday, I came home from work to find a rather large plain brown box on our porch. I knew I had not ordered anything through the mail, so I assumed that it was a package for Rob's business.

It wasn't.

It was for me. Tee hee.

Because I had no idea what it was or where it had come from, there was an added sense of jubilation as I pulled a knife through the packing tape and exposed a white box emblazoned with the Vera Bradley logo. My sense of excitement rose and I opened the interior box to reveal this:

Springlike and perfectly me, I was completely surprised by this amazing act of kindness. There was a level of sheer exhilaration NOT knowing who had bestowed this precious gift on me.

Thankful for the bag? Yes.

Thankful for the energy, effort and obedience of the person who blessed me? OH YES!

I am beyond grateful for this super sweet bag of generosity. I have since discovered where the bag came from and it is no surprise to me at all who was responsible for this serendipitous surprise. I love her dearly and will never forget how God used her generous spirit to encourage and bless my heart. Her shining example, I pray, will be paid forward as all of us seek to serve others in the purest ways.

The story doesn't end there.

Nope.

I went to the mailbox several days later only to find a plain manilla envelope. Ripping the newest treasure open I discovered notecards, post-its, shopping lists, a plethora of writing paraphenelia. Yippee! Just two weeks earlier, I had purchased similar writing supplies for each of the girls' teachers. As I gazed at the gifts I had chosen for the teachers, I acknowledged, in my head, that I would love to have those initial notecards and accessories also. It was a silent prayer and I knew God was ushering me away from that aisle, as not to tempt me to spend unnecessary funds. I am so thankful my heart was poised for obedience. The same benefactor had again surprised me, responding to the gentle whisper on her heart. This makes me more than thankful.

This is Sienna. Isn't she beautiful??? Sienna stirs in my soul the same feelings that brought our family to adoption the first time. I used to say our family was complete. And it very well may be. But, if another door were to be opened, I have begun to accept that our family would openly pray about it. Sienna's family, who brought their youngest daughter, Ruby, home just after Hannah returned today on an expedited visa with their newest family member! They are HOME! It is most definitely reason to be thankful!

Several dear friends have had intense medical issues to contend with this week. One of which, her son had an unfortunate encounter with a baseball bat to his orbital cavity. God's perfect provision is apparent as his injuries were minimal and he is doing great! This makes me thankful.

Another friend, the benefactor friend, I continue to stand at her side (from many many miles away) as she hopes for the best with her daddy who experienced a major medical trauma Wednesday. I am so hopeful for his complete recovery and know how desperately she wishes she was there to help her parents. It makes me thankful I can pray.

Yet another friend is embarking on her first cancer fundraiser to support breast cancer and honor her mother, who is currently undergoing treatment. I am thankful for her focus, drive and tenacity in remaining true to a dream she and her sisters have to bring glory to God, while helping their sweet mom.

Finally, I am thankful for grace. Our pastor spoke beautifully on mercy and grace this week.

If I am being honest, sometimes I don't get it.

And many times, I live it all wrong.

There is no license to sin, but there is the promise of grace and for all the times that our heavenly Father, a friend or a loved one has extended this unwarranted gift to me, I am grateful.

What are you thankful for today?

Wordless Wednesday

2010-03-03T09:50:00.001-08:00

Wordless Wednesday

2010-02-17T09:14:00.000-08:00

Puppy Love

2010-02-15T08:00:00.000-08:00

Today I am participating in Rachel Olsen's Devotion Carnival. The theme for today is LOVE. Though I feel I could write on so many topics associated with love, I have chosen to express one close to our hearts at this very moment with the addition of a new puppy to our life. I am ever aware that God speaks to us sometimes in the big moments but more often in the smaller moments, the more mundane ones, when we take them to Him in our quiet time. May your day be blessed with the presence of His whisper upon your heart.

"Beloved, let us love one another: for love is of God; and every one that loveth is born of God and knoweth God ... Beloved, if God so loved us, we ought also to love one another, God dwelleth in us, and his love is perfected in us."
~1 John 4:7, 11-12~

This past week found us in the throes of Valentine-topia. Snowed in and school-less, our thoughts turned to the upcoming holiday of loooove and we made valentines. We stuffed little bags for the children's schoolmates. We even made a trip to the pet store to buy a special gift for our newest family member, a honey cockapoo named Maggie.

As our three year old settled in for her nap after her Valentine's party, she clutched in her hot little hand a card. A valentine. From Cooper. A boy. And she told me rather matter-of-factly that she was going to marry him; she just hadn't told him yet. She also called me close to whisper in my ear, "Mommy, I love Maggie, I mean I really love her. She is a fluffy, fuzzy ball of love." This is true.

Our older daughter has desired her very own puppy for years. These sweet children saved their own money, that we might open our home to a furry, fuzzy ball of love. In her words, "Pets love you no matter what, I mean they need you for everything." And it has made me think about the agape love that the Lord pours out on us. It is ours. Our father in Heaven wants us to rely on Him. He wants us to seek Him and to live according to His word. He loves us, no matter what, and we need Him for everything.

Puppies are a lot of work. So are humans. With our wildly wicked hearts desperately needing to be tamed and our judgemental, haughty spirits, it is a blessing and a miracle that the Lord can love us so unconditionally, readily accepting our pleas for forgiveness, our cries for help and our many times less-than-acceptable time that we spend with Him. Our sweet puppy, shreds paper, bites, chews, cannot control her bodily functions yet; and even so, we love her with an almighty love that does not consider we speak different languages and live considerably unparalleled lives. We reprimand her when her actions fall short, not to punish or condemn, but to teach. For this lifelong Christian, that simple statement sheds new light on the process that God takes us through.

"Judge not, and ye shall not be judged: condemn not, and ye shall not be condemned, forgive, and ye shall be forgiven."~Luke 6:37~

At times, we need to be reprimanded, reminded, restored, not to punish or condemn us, but to teach us. Maggie knows this, but do I? When God calls me back, I find that doubt has a sneaky way of creeping in and corrupting my heart. I am mindful, He wants to teach me. Teach, change, evolve. Not punish. He wants me to grow, to be so confident in His love that I CAN love others the way He intended.

When we open His Holy Word to seek our own hearts and not merely out of an obligatory sense of duty, we are cultivating, nurturing and maturing a relationship that the Lord so divinely desires. He wants us. He wants our hearts. Just as we want the heart of our puppy, he wants our hearts. Tail wagging and joyfully jumping, that is how I want to approach my God. I want to recognize He meets my every need, He loves me when I am unlovable. He feeds me, clothes me, bathes me in His tender mercies. And do I love Him as unconditionally? I would like to think so. But, I am not so certain that is truth.

As I gaze into the endless black pools that are our puppy's eyes, I am aware of how very unconditional she is. Her heart harbors no record of wrongs or judgement. She casts no blame and seemingly forgives her enemies. She hugs and kisses the children regardless of how tight they squeeze her or how many times they pull her tail. Always loving, always forgiving, truly living out the scripture that love is of God.

Ephesians 4:32 reminds us, "And be ye kind one to another, tender-hearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ's sake hath forgiven you."

Do I forgive my enemies? Do I pray for them? Do I truly keep no record of wrongs? As God commanded me to love others as HE loves me, am I living that out every single day? Or when I choose? When our hearts hurt and we are cleaning up the messes of our lives, be they on newspaper on the laundry room floor or in our innermost personal relationships in dire need of repair, there He greets us, encouraging us to be tender hearted and forgive one another. He is not asking us to do more than what He does already.

In my heart, I want puppy love. First love. THE love. Not straying, fleeting love that will not withstand the test of time, but authentic, true, Godly love that pierces our hearts and transforms our lives. Like the spirit of our gentle Maggie, kind and embracing, I want to love others as God has instructed and more importantly lived out in His love for me. I stand amazed in the beauty of His design, all of his creatures, the lessons we can learn in the timeless love of a puppy.

Introducing...

2010-02-14T19:11:00.000-08:00

Maggie Mae!

I wish that I could actually capture a still shot of her, but I have not mastered that yet! Maggie is a honey colored cockapoo. She is hypoallergenic (for us allergy sufferers, Emily and I, achoo!) Maggie joined our family two weeks ago and we could not be happier. Rob and I have always been dog people and it feels really good to have a puppy running amongst us.

The girls began saving their money months before our German Shepherd and Poodle passed away (Fall 2008). Emily was determined to have a dog "of her own". She wants a doggie to talk with and snuggle with, to sleep next to and love on. It has been her dream for as long as she has been able to speak. Hannah was in on this master plan and so the two of them devotedly saved every penny in the "dog fund". Just after Christmas, we counted the money and discovered we had enough...paired with the right litter of dogs being available, Rob and I felt completely convicted the Lord was opening the gates for our home to be the safe haven for a dog once again.

I won't lie. I liked the clean floors and being able to eat at coffee table level if we wanted to. I was getting used to my ultra tidy laundry room, used only for well, laundry. Swiffer and I were only best of friends once a day as opposed to now, when we interact far more times per day than I care to admit. And freedom, we had so much freedom! BUT, we also have a relatively responsible seven year old with the deep rooted desire to be mommy to her own puppy. And we have a three year old, who despite what we might have predicted absolutely ADORES the new puppy. She surprised us all by her sheer joy over Maggie.

January and February are always really hard months financially for us. We had the jar. Filled. We did not want to dishonor the girls by using that money for anything other than the puppy, so we agreed, if the puppies were healthy and the time was right, we would move ahead. Rob and I planned a date for a Sunday afternoon to "see" the litter of puppies. I don't even need to explain what happened to me when I held Maggie. No words were exchanged. We did not take the puppy right then. We went home and prayed about it. God confirmed for us, this was the puppy, our puppy!

The following Thursday, Rob left work a little early, headed to the farm, picked up Maggie and we surprised Emily. It was an added blessing that Emily was playing that afternoon with her dear friend, Gabrielle. They got to share those special first moments together. Hannah happened upon the scene a few minutes later and it has been love, love, love!

Look out Laura Ingalls...

2010-02-02T19:47:00.000-08:00

Emily wants a little house in the big woods too!

There was something completely time period-esque as Em donned her bonnet and pinafore for Colonial Day. Ahhh, second grade...where wonderful teachers in long skirts and with doiles atop their heads transport the little kiddies back to the day of apothecaries and silversmiths.

Emily loves, loves, loves history. I sincerely think she believes they had Colonial Day just for her! Sewing quilt squares, basket weaving, punching tin, playing hoops, she enjoyed each and every special activity. And I was all too tempted to call her Half Pint and go looking for Nellie.

Currently, Emily is reading Little House in the Big Woods and though I do not see myself making my own cheese and maple sugar, I do see the beauty in the simplicity of this era. I have to wonder if Emily would be quite so enamoured with this time period if we removed from her life some of the modern conveniences she has grown to love. Can you say pizza and DVD? For now, we will braid that red hair and she can pretend her own little house in the big woods as much as she would like...Me? I am off to take a nice hot shower in my warm and cozy home and be thankful.

Happy Referral Day!

2010-02-01T00:00:00.000-08:00

After naptime today, I asked Hannah if she wanted to take her referral day picture. She knew exactly what I meant. She rifled through her closet, hunting down her purple China dress. She dressed quickly and then took her little hand and ran it down the back of her head. I think she thought she was calming those wild raven locks, but truthfully, that would have taken some time and Hannah had some other things on the agenda for today (more on that later...stay tuned!) She ran and grabbed Kai Lan and plopped down in her favorite chair. I didn't fix her hair perfectly or change her into a dress that fit her better. I resisted the urge to put shoes on those pretty little feet and remove the Kai Lan necklace she insisted on wearing. I wanted to remember her just as she was, as the sun set, bringing us to our third Referral Day.

Three.whole.years. It is so hard for me to believe that three whole years have passed since that wonderful day when my cell phone rang telling us we had another daughter. I have those surreal moments when I gaze at Hannah and become overwhelmed. Overwhelmed that I am her mommy, overwhelmed that the Lord knew she was our daughter and made sure she got to us safely, overwhelmed that Hannah's birthmother bestowed upon us a gift that is indescribable, overwhelmed by the love that supercedes genetics, overwhelmed... and most definitely thankful. Thank you Lord, for sending us two precious children; Each and everyday, they bless our hearts and rock our world.

Recently Hannah played with one of her "China sisters". She carries around a picture of the two of them, telling anyone and everyone, that she and Lyla were in China "TOGETHER"! Congratulations to all of the other families celebrating their Referral Day.

You can visit here , or here to see the last two years posts for referral day.

Hannah, we love you. We loved you long before we knew you or could see you. We are so grateful the Lord brought you to us when He did and we know His timing is perfect. We pray for all of the families awaiting their children. We know now, what others told us, that the wait would become a faded memory once you were known to us, but we grieve for the families that continue to wait and pray for their little ones.

Our family would not be complete without you. At 4:30 PM, I will remember... I will remember with great sentiment that first moment, when my breath left me and I saw for the first time the child chosen for us. I will remember how I looked at your sister and with grand thanksgiving praised God that it felt so different and so similar all at the same time. I will remember another family, far away, for whom I am grateful beyond measure. I need not remember the joy, it is here, it remains...praise God!

The Truth about the Tooth

2010-01-19T16:46:00.000-08:00

September 2009, all her teeth in tact :)

The morning she had the tooth removed, little clown! This was about an hour after the tooth was pulled!

Several people have noticed the cute little gap that now graces Miss Hannah's smile. When she first visited the dentist, we noticed some transparency on one of her front teeth. Further investigation would confirm that this particular tooth was damaged and she had severe decay just at the root. Honestly, we are surprised that she did not have more pain, the dentist thinks that perhaps it had been this way for a long time and the tooth was pretty much dead. However, we ran the risk of an absess. We all agreed, the tooth would need to come out. Our plans were quickened when the tooth broke as Hannah chomped happily on a pretzel. It was jagged, rough and the top surface had cracked off.

I did a double take and then another and was slightly panicked when I realized that this expedited things considerably. Just before Thanksgiving, Hannah had her tooth pulled. She was a champion...the dentist was a champion...me? Not.so.much! Hannah has taught me many things about life; she is a brave survivor and though this is the story of one little tooth, it represents a host of beautiful character traits in Hannah.

When it was all done. She came home removed the packing herself (oh yes she did!) and demanded a soft pretzel! When said pretzel was inhaled, Hannah gazed adoringly in the mirror and said, "There, now I am pretty like Emily." As much as I dreaded her having that tooth removed, I realize now, certain things are necessary to move us forward, give us strength, increase our trust.

For the record. Hannah has been back to the dentist twice since the extraction and has no fear at all of her beloved Dr. G!

A Play on Words

2010-01-08T19:34:00.001-08:00

"Now to Him who is able to do exceedingly, abundantly above all that we ask or think, according to the power that works in us." Ephesians 3:20

With the whoooshing of the winter winds, along came the return to school this week. I get a bit melancholy when the children return to the routine, but this time, it was relatively seamless, for which I am grateful. Emily has struggled a touch this year with some medical concerns. The interruption of normalcy is sometimes greeted with resistance on the part of our fiery redhead, when asked to go back to the "way it was". So, I was tentative and optimistic when Monday morning rolled around. Hopeful was my heart that nary a nerve would be there.

Things were moving along peacefully, just as they should. We were even early getting into the car and heading for school. Traditionally, I pray with the girls on the way to school, but my mind was cluttered and my spirit preoccupied. As the girls ran to the car, Hannah insisted with great determination that she wanted to play with Emily and that she would miss her. I agreed. Hannah again visited the idea of playing with Emily. I explained with great detail all the reasons why they could not play together this week. On and on, I indoctrinated them with multiple theories on why school is so important...poor kids. Hannah sighed heavily and shaking her head, muttered about Mommy just not understanding.

Hannah is many things, above all of them, she is tenacious. Her "get what she wants" attitude often needs to be calmed and reasoned with. The Lord had laid on my heart to pray with the girls, but Hannah kept up her diatribe of begging to play with Emily. As long as it was this important to her, I conceded, and finally said to Hannah, "FINE, go ahead play with Emily. You have a few minutes before she gets to school."

With that, Hannah bowed her little head, folded her hands and followed with "Dear Lord, please protect Emily today. Stay with her God and help Mommy and I not to be sad when we miss her. Amen."

PRAY!

All along she had been asking to PRAY with Emily. She was right, I simply did not "get it!" I never cease to stand in awe of what our children will teach us. Maybe we need to listen a little closer, hug a little deeper, walk a little slower to be sure we are "hearing" our little ones. Emily was genuinely touched by her sister's thoughtfulness...a thoughtfulness that is buried some days in the depths of a heart that has taken literally two years to soften. But, on this, first day back, Hannah carefully searched her own heart to bless her sister. A nice way to begin a new year, don't you think?

Visions of Christmas

2010-01-02T19:50:00.000-08:00

Could it possibly be that another Christmas season has come and gone? I sit here staring at the twinkling lights that illuminate a dark and very windy evening on this second day of the new year. Though I know I should be dismantling those twinkling lights, I can't help but remember why we put them up in the first place. Yes, they look pretty and yes, it is tradition. Today, though, I was reminded that we choose to light our homes, our trees, our lives with the light of Jesus, the very reason we celebrate.

I will admit, I entered this Christmas season with a bit of a bah humbug attitude, dragging my heels and unsure of why it was I felt so glum. I may never pinpoint my scroogified self, however God has a way of placing things in order so that if we choose to, we may see the very things He wants us to see.

I've chosen some of our favorite memories of this Christmas season to post here. If you can stand this picture heavy post, I promise, I will tread lightly with pictures in upcoming posts :) I have no pictures of our very favorite Christmas tradition that began this year. We filled a Christmas jar...we prayed over the jar...we carefully executed the deposit of said jar on Christmas Eve on the front steps of a family that hopefully will be blessed by the contents. It will be a tradition we keep for as long as we are able. Nothing has filled our hearts more than this simple, gentle act of kindness, which had nothing to do at all with us, and everything to do with being obedient to God's call.

We began the season at a Yuletide Celebration touring the famous AI DuPont Home and dancing amongst the fairies in the Children's Garden, the girls were most impressed with the enchanted garden and cannot wait to go back in the spring...

We were blessed to attend a formal tea again this year. After the busy fall we had, it was such a welcomed respite. Emily and I enjoyed this special day but enjoy even more knowing how very important it is to my mother, Nanny! We shared our tea and hot chocolate (with marshmallows!!)with dear, dear friends. We are so grateful to unite this timeless tradition with the warmth of love and friendship. All three families had represented three generations of Godly women.

At the end, the girls did their own rendition of the Nutcracker!

Rather spur of the moment, we took the train into the city to see the Macy's light show and get a moment with the jolly guy in red ;) We strolled through Dicken's Village, which is just the right size for little ones. It was a wonderful experience that I have been just waiting to share with our girls. It is reminiscent of the many times I made this very trip myself, as a child. When I was little, my mother always took us to the Tea Room for lunch, since that no longer exists, we dined at the Hard Rock Cafe, not quite the same experience!

Both girls participated in their school Christmas programs. The programs were bathed in God's goodness. Emily, a shepherd, star in hand... and Hannah,a typical three year old, shocked us when she boldly and with great enthusiasm sang and sang. She knew every single song, every single movement and she was so overjoyed to have her first "sing songs in church".

The trees...maybe it is my German heritage or just my complete adoration of twinkling trees, but our home is always adorned with several Christmas trees. We have a Children's tree, which has only the girls' ornaments and decorations. This year, they chose a fake tree (GASP!) because the weather did not cooperate. They love their new evergreen and are thrilled that their tree can be retrieved from the attic in just a few moments. Emily and Hannah also have their own mini tree in their bedroom. Hannah's is a sparkly lavender little number adorned with silver ornaments, Emily's is her favorite pink hue and is decorated with an assortment or miniature baubles. Our more formal tree is real (sneezing and all!). We lock it in the living room, literally, closing the french doors, so that we can see it's beauty without the constant niggling of allergic reaction! This year, the weekends were not primed for tree chopping, we set out on a Monday after school. The farm had assured us the tractor was running and we'd get our "sleigh" ride out to the trees. Well, when we arrived it was desolate and no tractor was running. We set out on foot, when the man in the booth called to us and he sent another worker so that we would get our ride. The girls were thrilled! (So were we, to be honest.)

Children's Tree

Formal Tree

Emily's pink confection

Hannah's lavender lovely

Riding out to the trees!

Hannah and Rob watched as they bundled our tree...look carefully at the sky, it was so pink and beautiful.

My sister-in-love's family has always hosted a Christmas Eve fete. Years ago, when her aunts were no longer able to plan and host the party, the baton was passed to she and my brother. They gladly accepted and our family was brought into this lovely tradition. This has always been a favorite for Emily. She loves this party.

Simply one of my favorites photos of the season...out of focus, but filled with the wiggly delight of cousins

It was late by the time we left our Christmas Eve party, perfect conditions for stealthily leaving a gift of love like a Christmas Jar. :) We missed the church service we intended to attend. So, we had to search for another, just another blessing. Then, it was home to ready for Christmas morn. The girls were so tired, they forgot to leave treats for St. Nick. Emily, did not, however, forget to leave him a note, she always asks a host of questions and as she gets older, they get better! For her privacy, I did not take pictures of her note this year. She is to an age now, where she requests I not post her private thoughts. I am happy to honor her sweet heart. I will say, she asked some really thought provoking questions!

We got to spend time with wonderful friends in addition to spending time with family. I didn't capture everything because I left my camera behind at least twice during this season of festivities! I was able to catch some of these priceless memories.

Hannah saw her very first movie in a theater, The Princess and the F*rog...Emily put on a brave face and also viewed even thought her preference was the Squeakquel. Needless to say, Em and I have a date with some chipmunks in the coming weeks!

"Do not remember the former things, or consider the things of old. I am about to do a new thing; now, it springs forth, do you not perceive it? I will make a way in the wilderness and rivers in the desert." Isaiah 43:18-19

Be blessed in this New Year, may it bring so many happy surprises!

On Letting Go

2009-12-18T18:28:00.000-08:00

Since the blog has remained quiet for so long, one may assume that letting go means letting go of the blog. But, no, I am keeping the blog just where it is, for now. I had to "let go" of it for a time, but as we all know there is a season for everything!

I wouldn't try to catch everybody up on where we have been or why this little bloggy hiatus has lasted so long. So, I will pick up from here, where my heart is, accepting and appreciating something we all have to do, probably on a daily basis.

Letting go...

"God's work is not in buildings, but in transformed lives." ~ Ruth Graham Bell

As a younger woman, I lived by the rule of indispensibility. There was that sense that the world would shift into a holding pattern, if, by chance I was rendered unable to fulfill a responsibility or GASP not fill my calendar to maximum capacity. Arrogance? No, I don't believe it was out of a sense of arrogance, moreover, I think it was a committment to continuity and, yes, pridefulness. There, I said it, pride. Bleh, somewhat of an ugly word. It is one thing to be "proud" of my children for making wise choices or being kind to another, but it is a separate derivative to be "prideful".

My current Bible Study breaks pridefulness into small, itty, bitty pieces that unfortunately reflect a huge host of faux paus on my part. It is all good, change happens. Repentance exists. If change were not necessary, repentance and forgiveness would not be alive and well. But, they are. God designed it this way, that we might live, learn and change. The biggest change came into my life when the Lord blessed me with children.

Children are messy. Plain and simple, they are messy. Children get sick, they have fears, they come complete with their own set of traits and trailers that will bless us one moment and frustrate us the next. They come with no roadmap, guidebook, or hired help to navigate the process. And so, some of the most transparent moments in my life are painted on the canvas of my children. I learned to let go of the calendar early in Emily's life discovering that her life was not some clean, clear cut version of my life. My ambitions of being everything to everyone had to be set aside, in order that I might mother this precious little person with all the gusto God had intended. As she grows and matures, here I am, once again, letting go. With each new step, milestone and discovery, there is a process of holding on and yes, letting go.

Then, there was Hannah. The wait. Letting go of my timing. I had a plan, people. I planned to be married by 24, children all completed by 30, back to work by 36...you get the picture. A divorce at 28 seriously interrupted my plan. Being remarried at 31, having babies, losing babies...none of it was part of the plan!

Or was it?

All of those events led us to a beautiful little agency not far from our home to adopt a little girl. They said we would wait 9 months. It was two years. Two.Long.Years! Given today's wait times, I hesitate to mention our wait time. When you are the family waiting, regardless of time and space, it is always too long. Again, I was faced with letting go. I let go of my selfish desire to be pregnant again. I had to release my will, my plan, to be replaced by God's perfect timing and His perfect will for our family. In retrospect, it all seems great, but while walking the walk, not an easy task.

Years ago, my grandmother was ill. My mother worked hard with social services to have her moved to a safer environment, however, my grandmother's primary care physician felt she was just fine where she was. She was a smoker, the doctor had her on several different medications, it did not make for a good scenerio and my mother was not blind to this. My grandmother was unkind to my mother on many occasions, disregarding my mom's complete and total committment to caring for her. One cold November night, I prayed. I prayed the Lord would bring peace and tranquility; that He would resolve this seemingly unsolvable problem. That same week, my grandmother's home burned to the ground, my grandmother was lost in the fire. We all know I blamed myself for that prayer. I did not pray for that to happen, I prayed for a solution. The answer was not what I had wanted. It took years for me to "let it go", for God to show me the goodness in the way that things transpired.

This fall, I was asked to teach third grade for a long term sub. I was anxious to be back in a classroom and really loved the challenge. As much as eighteen hour days separated me from my family and our sense of "normal", I was thrilled to be serving the Lord in this capacity. I was blessed to fill in for a teacher, who for all her gifts and talents, was only in her second year and was willing to allow me some creative outlet in that classroom. Her laid back style and complete trust lended itself to huge responsibility for me and I am so grateful to her. I fell in love with 24 amazing third graders. And here comes the hard part...about three weeks ago, I had to "let go". I had to graciously step aside. Even when we know it is coming, letting go can be painful.

Whether we are holding onto our children, our responsibility, our fear, our grudges, our pride, letting go is hard. It is necessary. But it is hard. Especially in this season of Christmas, we are assured of a Savior. A Savior who is willing to take it on for us. What finer gift could any of us expect this Christmas season? Be blessed during this time of Jesus' birth and the newness of another year. Do you have something you need to let go of? Maybe God is calling you to that now...

"Humble yourselves therefore under the mighty hand of God, so that He may exalt you in due time. Cast all your anxiety on Him, because He cares for you." 1 Peter 5:6-7

From the Inside Out

2009-09-19T05:34:00.000-07:00
So apparently, I am on a bloggy break (smile). However, I am interrupting this break for a post. I know. Surprised me a bit also. It is not that I don't have a hundred posts twirling in my head, it is that I feel the need to get certain things in order and fortunately or unfortunately, I am comfortable allowing the blog to take the blow until the timing is right.

Of course, I'd love to post about back to school because this year, three in our family went back. I accepted a long term sub opportunity for a third grade class, Emily headed back in the second grade and Hannah is now a big three year old in her preschool!

Our littest ladybug is on her new school induced schedule and even those weekend days don't prevent her little body from waking very early in the morning. So, as we wiped the drowsy from our eyes this beautiful autumn morning, I sought to be productive. I felt led to clean the windows! All.of.them.

The windows should easily fold in so that the inside and outside can be cleaned with ease. Some of the windows did not yield easily. And it caused me pause...I thought about our own inability to yield to the process of getting clean from the inside out. It is pretty simple to clean up the outside, polishing up our seen and visible places and carefully hiding away our unseen places. The thing about a window is, they are or should be transparent. So, it stands to reason that even when the outside is clean, the inside needs to be polished as well.

Who would think a task as mundane as washing the windows could evoke such deep thoughts? But it did. And I considered all the ways the Lord wants me to clean up the inside just as pretty as I clean up the outside (most days:) I am excited to begin a new year of Bible Study with a host of amazing women. What a blessing to know them, pray with them, parent with them and walk our walk together. We will be dealing with brokenness and blind spots. To some scary, to me, another path I'm led to travel and hopefully windex away the grime and dirt that clogs up my life.

The actual act of cleaning also brought about some awesome thoughts. The first window remains home to a mother spider and her babies. As I folded out the window, I caught a glimpse of her and her many offspring, as they scrambled away from my enemy hands. I thought of how miraculous life is, all life, even tiny lives. The second window had a giant knothole in the wood below the transom. It reminded me of the endless hours Rob spent building each and every frame. Our great room is some of his finest work and it made me extra grateful for Rob's gifts, his devotedness to his family and the many ways he has made our life beautiful. Each window was a glimpse into another place in our life; where Emily's mural once was in her nursery...where the sunlight trickles in on an antique tea cart handed down to us from Rob's parents... the window I stare out when the children are not well and I am awake all night... the one that holds a suncatcher Hannah made just for Emily, Tinkerbell, to be exact...such peace each window gave me. Content peace, not just happy, it reminded me how content our family is with our many blessings. Perhaps, not glamorous, but most definitely blessed.

So today, I leave you with this thought...is there a window that needs to be polished in your life? Are you transparent? Or does the dirt and grime of life clog up the view? My prayer for all of us this day is that our windows will sparkle from the inside out!

"Create in me a clean heart, O God, and put a new and right spirit within me." Psalm 51:10

The All American Pastime

2009-08-17T09:06:00.000-07:00
Baseball.

Yep, who doesn't love a great baseball game? Well, truth be told, I am not CRAZY about them, but I do enjoy the occasional run around the diamond. Up until now, the little ladybugs had expressed no interest in being taken out to the ballgame. But, as we all know, they grow, they learn, they hear...they wanted to live out the words to the tune..."buy me some peanuts and crackerjacks, I don't care if I ever get back."

You get the picture.

So, in a very impromptu decision, we headed off the city of brotherly love to catch an evening of good ol' American fun. Or so we thought.

We walked through the parking lot holding hands and singing (yes, really we did) but alas the story turns ugly quickly. We crossed the threshold to the ticketing center, everyone is all smiles. We are dressed accordingly in our cherry and white. The children appeared downright eager and a bit shiny, happy, if I do say so myself.

Rob steps up, he swings, and it's SOLD OUT!

We had not once taken into consideration the team we were about to try to see were world champions. Can you hear the crickets chirping? Dead silence, as Rob turned and looked at me. We felt like Chevy Chase in a bad scene from Vacation, and the happy, shiny children were not yet aware that we were being turned away.

And then, as she processed what the ticket man had said, Emily looks up at her daddy, makes contact with the reality, and busts into yes, THE UGLY CRY!

Oh no.

This was NOT the evening we had envisioned. Something inside of me wanted to assure her that peanuts and crackerjacks were really bad for her teeth, and the team might lose anyway, but I kept my silent vigil and slowly began to inch toward a concrete pillar, so I could just hear her sobs. Hannah, following my lead, stepped quickly to stand on my feet, as her sister was beginning to scare her. What is up with the little red-headed girl? I knew what was up with the little red-headed girl, she wanted to see her first baseball game, so I prayed. I did not pray we would get in, I prayed Em's heart would be soothed, and that His will would be done that night; and I prayed He would forgive me for my sports ignorance and poor planning.

Gleeful people passed us as they went to the will-call booth and other ticket windows only to be turned away and assured there were no tickets. After what seemed like an eternity, Rob stepped back, placed his arms around Emily and began working his way toward Hannah and I, when he stopped him.

The ticket man in window 6.

He said the little red-haired girl was "breaking his heart".

Rob stepped forward. The man was whispering, then he was up and moving, then he was discussing, first with one person, then with two, then he had an assortment of persons discussing at box 6. Then, as quickly as we had been denied, he waved us forward, issuing "standing room only" tickets.

A manager came to escort us in, he showed us to the customer service area to get "MY FIRST GAME" certificates for the girls. We promptly bought some very-bad-for-you cotton candy and a token stuffed bear that plays "All-Star". We settled in right behind the third baseline, where the little red-haired girl, in all her glory, watched the entire game and cheered that team, regardless of the score. Even telling those award winning Phils, "It is okay." when they lost miserably.

There are many morals to this story and some may begin with tips on perfect parenting and planning, however we all know no perfect parent exists, and that lesson in and of itself is incredibly valuable. Yet, I must offer, I am far more intrigued with the kind man in ticket booth six. His willingness to allow his heart to choose his path was rather moving. It was obvious that he chose to speak to his superiors not because we insisted or stomped our feet, but because he saw in that child, his own child. He knew he may get refused, but he tried anyway. And he blessed a family he did not know.

Consequently, I wrote the baseball organization with a personal thank you detailing the events of that night. And I got a personal response from the ticket man in window six. I will just say the only strike-outs that happened that evening were on the field, our family and the man in window six were blessed beyond measure.

"Each of us must please our neighbor for the good purpose of building up our neighbor." Romans 15:2

The Merry-Go-Round

2009-08-12T11:44:00.000-07:00
"Childhood is a short season." ~ Helen Hayes

It is a short season. It seemed like when we were young we were invincible. Ghosts in the Graveyard and Run the Bases occupied our summer nights. Teachers and tests replaced our games in the fall. Trips to the amusement park never seemed to get old and certainly the carousel was never too childish. After all, gathering the most rings was really fun :)

An afternoon spent under our big pin oak in our side yard was utter joy. My dad would scoop up hoards of leaves in the fall and we'd roll down the hill, landing straightaway in the middle of that mountain of dust and mold...and we called it fun! My cousins and I played endlessly with the classic Barbie dolls, we played Make me Laugh until we cried, we laughed so hard.

I would be lying if I said I didn't miss those days. Most definitely, my days have been replaced with a different kind of fun...I now see delight through the eyes of Emily and Hannah. But, every now and again, when the wind whips through my hair and I run like a child, I remember the moments of my own childhood. The ones that shaped me and blessed me more than I ever realized until I had children of my own. I noticed as I rooted through pictures that some of my very favorite shots were taken on the merry-go-round. I thought of how ironic it was that Rob and I had our favorite wedding picture captured on a spinning carousel. Foreshadowing? Nah.

When we are little we enjoy the cacophony of music and motion as the carousel moves round and round, up and down. Adulthood is not so different. Round and round, up and down...can you relate? It is just a different sensation now. I think I'd choose to go back to my childhood love of the carousel, which does not include the complexities of worry and fear that our adult version includes. Simpler...it was simpler. And it was indeed, short.

A Window of Time

2009-08-04T00:00:00.000-07:00

Max Lucado said the following about marriage, speaking of his parents married over 40 years when his dad went home to the Lord...

"What they had was a forever marriage - a marriage in which two people, eyeball to eyeball, say I’m going to love you when I don’t feel like loving you. I’m going to love you when you’re sick. When we have money and when we don’t. I’m going to love you forever.
Marriage demands the greatest level of tenacity and talent and tenderness that any human being can summon."

I don't know about you, but that is the marriage I want...it is the marriage I vowed to live. Forever.

Eight years ago, today, I said "I do!" to my sweet husband. And he said the same to me. I love this picture of my nieces and I, as we waited in the bridal room for our guests to arrive. If I could have taken a peek into our future, just as I glanced out this window, I would have been surprised at some of the things we would face as we began our married life.

These eight years have had their share of difficult circumstances, but overriding all of that has been a tremendous amount of joy. We have weathered financial strain, joblessness, death, construction, accidents, family turmoil and illness. In fact, the summer we were married, I removed myself from an annual mission trip to tend to some serious concerns with my Chrohn's disease. As I recall, it was my soon-to-be husband who took on that storm and never once left my side. Several of our grown-up youth recently reminded me of this. Why was it so important to them? They told us with weepy eyes that it set the standard for expectations in suitors for themselves.

In these eight years, we began sharing a home, a life...we were blessed with a beautiful baby girl, blessed again with a little beauty from China, added a roomy addition to the home Rob built, made new friends, restored ties with old friends, honored one another, and our children and are seeking so much more. We have learned about communication and cooperation. We have learned about disappointment and navigating the curveballs thrown our way with grace and dignity. We have learned about resting and renewing. We have learned acceptance, in it's truest form, and the meaning of unconditional love. All that to say, we don't always do it right ;) but we are striving for it every single day.

So, as I peek out the window to see what is out there for us now, I see so many more years in this life that we love. I see us better, smarter, stronger, definitely older but hopefully wiser, more faithful and prayerfully more in love than ever.

Happy Anniversary, honey. I love you!

What Every Mother Wants to Hear

2009-07-26T07:01:00.000-07:00

Emily just completed a science class at our local library. She loved it!

The first day, my goggle-faced girl came running breathlessly to me and proclaimed, "Mom, we are going to grow bacteria!."

Oh. Yay. Rock on science girl.

Purell anyone?

The Narrator

2009-07-23T19:17:00.000-07:00

First, you put on your leeeeotard. Den, you get some shoes, but any shoes are okay because the teeechhr makes you take dem off anyway. Den we get into the car, no, wait, Mommy gets a yoyyipop and some gum as a reward, when I do good, and she puts them in her purts (purse) before we leave, because we know how hard it is for me to go in that room by myself. Otay, den we get in de car and Mommy drives past de pretzel place to my gymnastics bildin (building). Den we go in the door and wait til the teeeechr is done wif his odder class. Den he says my name and I go to gymnastics. I yike de jumping and flipping, today I did a carwheeeeel (well sort of). At the end, we get stamps and den I run to Mommy and Emmy and dey give me my yoyyipop. It's all good! :)

Hannah's newest thing is to narrate even the simplest of tasks. One would be amazed at the number of steps involved in getting a glass of juice or loading the dishwasher. I asked her the other day if her tongue ever gets tired from all the talking and surprisingly she said, "No".(smile) Then, I suppose my ears are not tired either!

The Painted Sky

2009-07-16T11:32:00.000-07:00
This past Fourth of July, we did something a little different. Unplanned. Spur of the moment. Fly by the seat of our pants...and it worked!

Some years, we have watched fireworks from our porch, some in my brother's back yard; my sister-in-law can shoot off a mean bottle rocket :) However, we have never actually gone to see them. We had been to the parade, hosted family for lunch and after the girls were bathed and getting ready for bed, I suggested it. How 'bout if we ride up to see the fireworks? We were all for it. The traffic there was unbelievable, all I can say is thank goodness we had Hannah's potty in the car! And the traffic home was way worse but it was well worth it.

On the way, the sun was setting and we hit a stretch of road where the sky above us was huge and this gorgeous orangey-red. Emily noticed it first and she and Hannah discussed how the sky at that moment may very well be BETTER than fireworks. After all, God must have painted it just for them. Imagine the size of that brush! I assure you, this was part of the discussion from the rear of the car.

We found a good spot to park, we popped the tailgate and the fireworks began! It was perfect timing. Emily noted when we were leaving, "He painted the sky for us and then lit it up, pretty good." To which Hannah replied, "Yay God!"

Yay, indeed.

And the Winner is...

2009-07-15T12:59:00.000-07:00
Today's the day! In celebration of our 200th post, I am giving away a two book series complete with a cd. The books are titled, "Motivating your Man, God's Way" and are penned by Dr. Emerson Eggerichs. Dr. Eggerichs and his wife are the founders of the Love and Respect Program.

So, I enlisted the help of my most accomplished assistant, Emily :) and this is how it went down.

We wrote everyone's names on little pieces of paper

My faithful assistant folded each slip twice

We shook the bowl A LOT! And then she closed her eyes...

and the winner is...Sharon!

New Every Morning

2009-07-13T11:18:00.000-07:00
"The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases, his mercies never come to an end; they are new every morning; great is your faithfulness." Lamentations 3:22-23

I love doing this post in the heart of the summer, when the trees are green and birds are flitting about our yard. The smell of freshly cut grass wafts in the windows, that I am leaving open, despite the allergies, just because the days are so beautiful.

Years ago, my dear friend Mary walked me through a trial in my life. She and our friend Leanna, flooded my mailbox with cards and encouragement. With each passing year, that valley I walked seems further and further away. It makes sense though, that I took away something incredibly important that reverberates every now and again in it's sheer simplicity.

God's mercies are new every morning.

There were other scriptures that Mary called upon during that time. There were other scriptures that became my montra during that season of my life, however, the pure fact that His mercies are new every morning comes back in waves (or in the waves:). Here is the cool thing...I used to relate that fact to a direct correlation that something had to be wrong or the days had to be filled with strife in order to receive His new mercies. We had to NEED His new mercies, not in the mundane everyday-ness but in BIG, colossal lamenting type ways. The chosen verse from the book of Lamentations, which is just that, a lament for Jerusalem being destroyed in the beginning chapters, shifts gears midway through the chapter and focuses solely on God's goodness and merciful spirit. This is a reminder to me that lamenting does not always precede the recognition of His mercies. Lamenting may make us more aware, but the truth is, regardless of our circumstance, His mercies are new every morning.

Like His grace, those mercies are a gift, undeserved, yet so graciously doled out! It hit me on the beach last week as I watched three very sweet friends get baptized in the ocean. A Godly family, our friends have no apparent strife or struggle except the normal daily rigors of living. However, that Sunday morning as they prayed together about Sharon (the mommy), Joshua (the son), and Gabrielle (the daughter) being baptized by a pastor-friend from a sister church, His mercies were new that morning. Something new was about to happen that day. The details of what happens after their baptism is between them and God, but we felt so thankful to be there to witness this big day in their lives.

Gabrielle waiting...

Joshua went first...the waves were really high, as you can see! The pastors prayed for him and dunked just shortly after this shot.

Gabrielle went next

Sharon played "clean up" and was baptized last...her husband, Jim was baptized in Israel in February!

Dunked!

You can visit Sharon's blog to see her own accounting of this special time in their lives.

Thankful Thursday

2009-07-09T10:38:00.000-07:00

I know. It has been a long time since I did a Thankful Thursday. But, I am feeling grateful for all the blessings in our life.

I am thankful for friends. Treasured friends from years past to new friends we've just made...they are all special. We recently attended a graduation party for one of my former youth group girlies. It was awesome! There is something about seeing them all grown up. Some are dating, some are graduating with their Master's degrees, some are finding new jobs or homes. I love seeing their lives unfold and the choices they are making. I love the way they love our children. The following day we had lunch with some others in the photo below...so.much.fun!

Megan, Jack Jr., Alissa (holding Hannah) Emily and I, Jacquelyn and Katie

Sweet friends of ours invited us to spend a couple of days with them at the beach. It was pure bliss. We had a great time and were simply happy to just be alongside our friends. Emily said we could have done absolutely nothing the whole time and she still would have had the best time ever. Thank you friends, we are so very grateful. There were some incredibly special moments during our time together...those I will save for a separate post. They are worth the wait. ;)

Emily and Gabrielle

Hannah, Gabrielle, Emily, Anna, Joshua

Joshua, Jim and Gabrielle on the Sea Dragon (our boring family said no thank you :)

I am thankful for family reunions. My family has them pretty frequently, but a few weeks ago, we got to meet some of Rob's extended family. It was a gorgeous day in a gorgeous location. We had a great time, and the kids totally enjoyed themselves. Emily reunited with a couple of long-distance cousins she had not seen since Rob's grandfather passed away. It was like time had stood still.

Sage, Hannah and Emily

Emily and Sage...they are now corresponding via email (so cute!)

I want to be where the big girls are!

Hannah going warp speed on her Plasma car

Emily and Charlotte

I am thankful for swimming lessons, playdates, VBS and camps...but, honestly, I love the simplicity of summer. I like that although we plan plenty of visiting and activities, there is some down time to read, reflect and be outside. The girls went on their first fishing trip last week with the help of Rob's Uncle Scott and Em caught her first sunny! That girl can cast a line!!! Next time, different bait and different location to see if her sister can snag a few.

I caught my first fish!!! (I know it is hard to see, but it is there!)

I am thankful for juicy watermelon, big fat blueberries, sunshine, chlorine, family, friends, bicycles and fireflies. God bless summer!

Wordless Wednesday

2009-07-08T19:07:00.000-07:00

Happy Fourth of July!!

2009-07-03T22:45:00.000-07:00

God Bless America!

It's in the Translation

2009-06-25T19:16:00.000-07:00
Well, here we are at our 200th post! I feel like I should ring a big bell or set off some hefty fireworks (Fourth of July is right around the corner). 200 posts. I love to write and this is a perfect forum to feed my random stream of consciousness. Though, lately finding the time to put into words all the many lifes' lessons I desire to share has become a task. So, I am committing myself to writing at least twice a week (more if the opportunity arises:) AND I am seeking to get back to reading others' blogs again. I miss y'all. I miss seeing the lovely faces of your children, trying new recipes, seeing the newest paint chips and hiding in my heart the treasures of God's word that you share so eloquently and diligently.

***In honor of writing and sharing, I have chosen to center this entire post around the translation of a message and am hosting my very first giveaway (details below!)***

A few weeks ago, when Hannah and my mother were spending a lot of quality time together, Hannah spat out a sentence undistingusihable to my mother but very clear to Miss Thing and her attitude. My mother gave her a look that cried out, "HUH?", to which Hannah again responded with the same verbage she had previously used, and still, that one word was eluding my sweet mother. "Yook, Nan I see da vewwy cute buuuuuud." Bud, bead, bug, bulb, bird, bag...any of them could have been the one and quite honestly my mother wasn't seeing any of those items. Hannah's frustration mounted and my mother sheepishly requested her to somehow try again. So, Hannah in the infinite wisdom of a two year old took my mother's face in her hands and very, very sternly said, "TWEET, TWEET, TWEET." Ahhh, bird.

I have to admit, this is very indicative of Hannah's personality. When she cannot get us to understand, she finds an alternative route to get to the same place. But, it got me to thinking about communication in general. My own marriage, in fact, many days needs a communication tune-up...I think of the desperate need for Rob and I to not just share information, but to truly understand one another. We recently attended a video marriage conference entitled, "Love and Respect" hosted by Dr. Emerson Eggerichs and his wife Sarah.

I could write for hours on the principles that Dr. Eggerichs presents and the incredibly funny way he presents them. Yes, you do walk away feeling you can call him by his first name and I felt every ounce of passion he has for helping couples to literally love and respect one another. My only advice, if you can do this series, go to see them, have a book they have penned, do it. Live it. It has been life changing for us. My first bloggy giveaway will be

The book and cd set of Motivating Your Man to Love God's Way!! Just leave a comment and for every comment left, you will have a chance to win the 2 book and cd series. One of the ladybugs will choose a winner July 15

Our generation should be some of the best communicators, constantly plugged in and forever clicking away on blackberries and mini laptops. I must admit though, with all of this technology and immediate gratification, some things may be getting lost in the translation. Just maybe, I think, it may have been our parents' generation that had better information sharing methods. My parents have always had a pretty consistent manner of communicating with one another. There were many years my father travelled extensively for work and they had to have a system. However, it is important to note, when my father was very young and in the service, he worked on airplanes. Very NOISY airplanes. So, he is virtually deaf in one ear. Now, I am no expert, but I would venture a guess that the other ear is not so hot either :) This little tidbit has wreaked havoc on my dear old dad for years. Why does he not get a hearing aid, you ask? Well, we are still scratching our heads about that.

At any rate, many things have been lost in the translation with my dad, orders in restaurants, questions from his students, the grandchildren speaking to him. But, make no mistake, my father is a good willed and fine man. He has more integrity in his little toe than most men acquire in a lifetime. As far as his faith and his ability to share his love with us, that has certainly never slipped from our radar. But, the following encounter has rendered me hysterical numerous times over the years.

I was in college at the time. I still lived at home. My mother worked at a local department store and my father picked her up after her shift on the weekends. That Saturday night, my dad asked if I wanted to ride over with him. Sure. It was very late and my mother got into the car. She innocently asked him a simple question,
"Did you kill the wasps?" (A wasp's nest was overtaking a tree in our side yard) to which he replied,
"Yeah, yeah, I did a load of white." My mother chuckled and I all out lost it.
She clarified for him, "No, no the bugs, did you get the bugs?" Still, the ears were not with him,
"Rugs, why would I wash the rugs?" We laughed until we cried. I know it is one of those moments you had to have been there to understand, however almost twenty years later, we still have those moments.

Consequently, my dad had sprayed the wasp's nest in addition to the other tasks he performed that day. But, I always find it noteworthy it takes so little to misunderstand the intentions of those around us. Dr. Eggerichs pointed out in our marriage encounter that people are generally good-willed, most of those around us are good willed people. My father was certainly good-willed that day, however his ears failed him. So, how often is our translation of a conversation vastly different than how the other person interpreted it? It amazes me how one single glance can speak volumes, while a fifteen minute dissertation to my children on loving one another can result in two defiant mini-me's casting blame from themselves and to each other, just wanting to "win". After all, they are incredibly good willed people, right? Right.

It's all in the translation. As I deeper study the Bible, I am fascinated by the translations of the written word of God. It becomes abundantly clear that there is very little wiggle room in translating the hard and fast facts presented in the ultimate book of all books. Yet, we attend bible studies and many times we take away different things, perhaps it meets us where we are in that moment. There is one verse that speaks to me when I may be sunken in my human spirit. There are those moments I misunderstand, when my heart is hardened or angry. I try to find a place that will renew my good-willed-ness :)

"I am the Lord, and I do not change." Malachi 3:6

It is simple, no translation needed.

Mama Drama

2009-06-13T04:51:00.000-07:00

Drama. I feel like I have heard that word so much lately. I am self admittedly a drama-phobe. It goes along nicely with my fear of germs and my fear of snakes. I am fully aware of God's assurances about fear, yet amazingly, my human self still becomes a bit unkept when in the presence of these three issues.

These past six weeks I was blessed to take a long term sub position with Emily's school. I was assigned to a wonderful kindergarten class. I fell head over heels in love with twenty beautiful children. I honed skills I have not used in several years and I saw a fair share of drama over those weeks. Personally and professionally. The teacher, who was attending to her husband's medical issues at home was in and out of the classroom to tie up loose ends. She happened to mention drama and I advised somewhat in jest, "I don't do drama."

In all truthfulness, whether we like or not some amount of drama will likely enter our bubbles at some point. We both knew I was not mocking her current situation, quite the opposite, I was encouraging her and offering any and every support I could. The reality is drama happens. Sometimes it is the very essence of a certain relationship, sometimes it comes in the form of health-related curveballs that throw us into trenches we would rather not visit, sometimes it is the necessary evil when we choose to abandon what we know is right. Whatever drama enters our lives, my prayer is that we gain something significant from the experience, that we grow from the trial and broaden our scope.

I happened to catch award -winning drama, "Good Will Hunting" on tv a few days ago. I was ironing and used the tv as a companion while Rowenta worked her special brand of magic. I first saw this movie in the theater. As a psychology buff, I envisioned sitting rapt with attention as the drama played out on the screen. That was not to be...I was so disgusted with the language in this movie that I could not remotely enjoy it. I saw the dilemma of the young man pushing a broom for MIT when he should have been sitting in the classes himself. I absolutely understood the baggage he carried from years of abuse and abandonment, yet I could not get past the blatent disregard for his character; to make him sound so incredibly idiotic with language that undermined the true gifts this young man had been blessed with. In my twenties, I was judgemental, a bit fundamental and when I saw this movie, I was still married for the first time, with very little experience in drama.

When I viewed this movie last week, I am still fundamental, though less judgemental than I used to be. I was able to clearly view the movie without the added annoyance of bad language...it was on a regular station and all of the vulgarity had been removed. But, this time, it was not the movie that had changed, I am different. I am twelve years older and hopefully wiser. I have seen more drama than I care to mention. Deaths, sicknesses, lost friendships, infidelities, break-ups, sorrows...so many things, not necessarily my battles but battles I have seen and prayers I have lifted over the years. I am deeper in my spiritual walk and seeking the Lord on a very different level, as a wife, a mother, a friend, a daughter. It is not time that grows us, it is the way we handle the drama that encroaches our small, little space.

As relationships go, I am honest when I say I don't do drama. I don't like potstirring and I certainly don't like conflict. I won't engage. I am slow to anger and quick to forgive. I am passionate about being an encourager and even with all that said, sometimes drama still has a way of niggling it's way in.

I am not a panic button mommy. I can be over protective and I do take very seriously my role. I trust the Lord to protect us and to guide us, however, I am fully aware that He will expect me to do my share as well. With Emily's most recent health issues, I clearly see my need to lean not to my own understanding. As we slog through her batteries of tests, I am reflective, prayerful and quiet. I recognize my need to do this.

These weeks have rendered me a bit motion sick, up and down, up and down. I find great comfort and truth in this passage from Isaiah 42:16,

" I will lead the blind by a road they do not know, by paths they have not known I will guide them. I will turn darkness before them into light, the rough places into level ground. These are the things I will do, and I will not forsake them."

Do you have some Mama Drama? How can I pray for you today?

Yea for Three, Hannah Leigh

2009-06-02T00:00:00.000-07:00
"Every generous act of giving and every perfect gift is from above and comes down from the Father who made the heavenly lights, in whom there is no inconsistency or shifting shadow." James 1:17

I shared today with my kindergarten class what it means to be patient. We were discussing the fruits of the spirit and I wanted to help them understand the concept of waiting. And there it was...my deepest desire fulfilled not in a traditional sense or quite the way I expected, but fulfilled none the less in a beautiful little girl we chose to name Hannah Leigh. For you, Hannah we waited and rejoiced. For you, Hannah, we know the Lord specifically chose for us to be a family.

I wish I could tell you so much more about this wonderful day three years ago, but I will be content in knowing that two years ago, we celebrated your very first birthday. Ladybugs were everywhere. You, our sweet little ladybug, were a bit overwhelmed. I am in awe of all that these two years have taught us as a family.

I love that you stroke my arm and tell me how much you love me.

I love that you wake in the morning just waiting for Daddy to come get you. You have your morning date, eating cereal together and talking. It makes Mommy's heart happy to see you enjoy this special time with your daddy.

When you do anything, you do it with your whole heart and you tell everyone all about it. There are no secrets with you Hannah. Your tenacity can be completely mind-boggling for us, but we know without doubt that the Lord made you just this way for a reason. Regardless of what His reasons may be, we trust His plan and see the beauty in your persistence.

You are not crazy about toys. We know some of your friends are not either. I think sometimes you are just ahead of your time.

As much as you and Emily may disagree or vie for attention, you love one another. You look up to her. You want to be like her and you are convinced you are a big girl just like Emily.

You LOVE Jesus. You will sing with great abandon and share with others how much Jesus loves us. You remind us to pray and love when it is your turn.

It takes a long time to gain your trust, but I love this quality about you. You are thoughtful and discerning.

You know your story by heart and with each milestone you reach, you understand a bit more the significance of your big airplane ride. You think it is completely cool and we pray you will always feel that way.

Your smile lights up a room and most definitely illuminates our lives. You smile so much now, it is hard for me to remember those first months together and the sadness that once touched all of our hearts. Our prayers have been answered in your joy.

Hannah, we cannot wait to see what is ahead of us with "3". Have a wonderful birthday sweetheart and a beautiful year. We love you.

Hiding Out

2009-05-27T07:39:00.000-07:00
"He who dwells in the secret place of the Most High shall abide in the shadow of the Almighty." Psalm 91:1

Toshiba, my trusty laptop, looked at me the other day. Dusty and forlorn, he stared, feeling the lack of attention he has been recieving lately. He knows other things have occupied my thoughts and time. I have taken a long term sub opportunity until the end of the school year. Birthdays and dance recitals abound. Our docile two year old has morphed into a VERY busy almost three year old and the terrible twos are gliding dangerously close to the traumatic threes. Lately, it feels as though we have been hiding a bit, dwelling in the secret place until the waters calm a bit.

One thing we all know for sure is that the only certain thing about each day is uncertainty. I think that is half the fun of life, never being quite sure of what is going to pop up next. When those uncertainties hit, how do others get through it? Amidst uncertainty, we can always be sure, I mean 100 percent sure of the love of God. He is our secret place, a place to dwell when it is hectic, unknown, when we are unsure...because He is certain. He is solid, stable, our firm foundation.

This has been a strange year. One frought with uncertainty in every area of our lives. Rob's work is always tentative, the struggling economy, layoffs and depleted overtime reduce others' ability to make renovations in their homes. The trickle down effect means that we have experienced many workless weeks this year. When I review those stressful times for us though, I see how the Lord provided work for me even when there was no work for him.

Emily has struggled with four stomach viruses this school year, two of which rendered her limp and lifeless in the hospital. This weekend we had the unexpected midnight trek to the ER. Emily came home from the hospital Monday. She is not feeling well and not eating yet, but even in the midst of her being ill, I see the good in humanity...friends and family who show support, people who pray, nurses and doctors who truly exhibit the love Jesus intended as they care for our child. At this point we are considering this was yet another virus, however the doctors are exploring some other less desirable outcomes. But even as undesirable as they may be, they are not horrible. So we are thankful.

For many, this year has been freckled with similar issues or concerns but I daily see the goodness that is God hard at work and I am thankful for the miracles we get to witness each and everyday when we are willing to be open to them. In the shadow of the Almighty, I see so clearly the light.

For those of you who have sent messages and checked in, thank you! Our blog will remain just where it is. I am hopeful the summer will bring some time to post all of the posts I have missed along this busy way. For those of you I daily check in on, I will be back and I miss seeing what you have been up to.

As I return to my duties of fingerpainting with the small fry and pedialtye nazi with our big ladybug, I will post some of our joyful moments over the past few weeks. I am ever reminded of His mercy amidst the craziness of daily life.

Our dear friend, Gabrielle's 7th Birthday party

Our weekends have been on overdrive since April, Rob working, parties, events...so we scheduled Em's birthday party for the day after her birthday. On her actual birthday, we had a celebration as soon as she woke up.

Emily's face the morning of her birthday, she just caught a glimpse of her new California Chariot

Kit, one of her American Girl dolls got a scooter too!

The next day, her party was such fun.

Kyle tickled the ivories for us :)

Emily had a few gifts to open, this year she has chosen to collect gently used toys to donate to the Center for the Blind in hopes of raising money for Seeing Eye Dogs. If we choose to do a children's party over the summer, she will continue to collect.

The kids clowned around!

A friend will always help you put your candles on the cake!

Emily, Joshua and Gabrielle rode their chariots

Hannah hung out with Amanda, little buddies!

Amanda was next celebrating her 13th birthday!!

More clowning kids!!

A quiet moment for Hannah and Kipper

Marshmellows by the fire pit, mmmmm

Next up to blow out three little candles, Miss Hannah!

To Our Emily

2009-05-16T00:00:00.000-07:00
Happy 7th Birthday Sweet Girl!

I marvel that seven years have gone by since you burst into this world. I loved being pregnant with you. It was such a joy and answered prayer for Mommy and Daddy. You were such a good baby. You smiled endlessly. I fear I may have taken some of that time for granted...it is true, I would love to turn back the hands of time and have you that tiny just once more, but I must put that to rest. You need to know, I love you just the way you are and look forward to each new stage we encounter.

I watched you today, when you thought I was not looking, and I was so thankful for the big sister you are. You spoon fed your little sister so that she would not dribble water ice down the front of herself. You graciously allowed her to borrow your things and you looked the other way when she was way too loud and interrupting your train of thought.

I love it when you dance like no one is watching. You sing like an angel. Just the sound of your voice makes me smile. And that smile of yours...it brings such joy wherever you go.

I totally dig your silly side!! You make us laugh. Your laugh...oh that belly laugh. I so love your laugh. Thank you Emily for all the smiles these seven years. At first I thought it was that flaming red hair and sweet freckled face that made you so unique, but now, I know it is simply who you are, the very essence of Emily that makes me smile so.

Your loyal heart is so amazing at such a tender age; Such genuine compassion and friendship, you offer to all those who are around you.

This year you have begun to say you'd like to be a missionary. Before this you always wanted to be a vet. Whatever you are, Emily, we will love you and support you. Dream big dreams and believe in them.

You are thoughtful and contemplative at times. You always want to do what is right in the eyes of the Lord. I appreciate that so much about you. You will pray without hesitation. You are kind to animals. You are kind to people and every now and again, you are shy. :) Today, when you were Star of the Week, you read your own story to the class. It made Mommy's heart so happy. Though, it brings about the reality that you are growing and forging your own way. We are so thankful to see you emerge and decide who you will be.

We love you Emily and wish you a very happy birthday!

(Emily chose the music for her post today:)

Urban Renewal

2009-05-12T12:48:00.000-07:00
"You've got to continue to grow or you are just like last night's cornbread, stale and dry." ~ Loretta Lynn

Back when I started this craze called blogging, I began following the photography genius of Pixel Fairy Princess. If you have not seen her site, please by all means, visit! PFP is now offering some online courses. Check them out, perhaps one of them would be a great match to your desire to learn.

Now, I do not possess one one hundredth of the vision or prowess that make the PFP so incredibly special, not to mention I do not have a camera bag filled with accessories and tricky little extras. However, when I learned that she would be close by, I wanted in on the action!

Two weeks ago, I was blessed to participate in one of her seminars. It was a weekend session in the city...and it was fabulous!! I learned so much. I was very apprehensive because I am very inexperienced behind the lens and use a pretty standard "point and shoot" (Sony DSC H50). My greatest goal in taking pictures is merely "catching" the moment. My goals now are much bigger, a little more layered and a little more lofty than they were ;) I was in the company of some uber talented women, and I must point out that establishing some new friendships was just as refreshing as the session itself. The weekend proved to be so worthwhile...despite my fears about not being equipped (in every sense), I was more equipped than I thought. This weekend was a much needed pick-me-up after a long winter, it was my very own urban renewal!

Ivy, Jen, Kate, Lisa, Sheryl and Bobbie, what a pleasure to be in your company. You are super women and it was an honor to spend those hours with you. Jen, Kate and Lisa, I look forward to the time when we can see each other, girls in tow!(Nick too, though I fear we have frightened him off:) PFP, what can I say? You are teaching perfection. Debbie's ability to convey critical information, while meeting the needs of all of her participants is unbelieveable. Her talent is unmatched and her gift for sharing simply beautiful. Thank you for everything.

Did I mention how much I learned??? I walked away with such a new sense of light, depth, perception and all things photog-friendly. I have posted a few pics straight from the camera (I never post anything straight from the camera! They always need a lot of help!). In addition to learning how to take a better picture, my next goal is to master developing and editing pictures. The combination of these goals will most certainly take some time:)

Lisa was kind enough to bring two of the sweetest kids in the world. Lisa's dear friend's daughter, Alicia and Lisa's son, Nick rocked it all day long posing and working the camera with such professionalism. Not only did they handle the whole event in stride, but they were helpful and composed the entire time. Just watching them inspired me. Ivy also brought a friend for modeling and Danielle was super cooperative. Alicia, Nick and Danielle, you were so much fun! Thank you for being such great sports!

I have been so busy since the seminar that I have not had much time to test out some of my new skills;) When I do, you will be the first to see!

Happy Mother's Day

2009-05-09T18:57:00.000-07:00
"Her children arise up, and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praiseth her." Proverbs 31:28

Today...I am thankful. I am thankful for the moment the ultrasound proved that my pregnancy with Emily was not lost. Her twin did move on to Heaven sooner than I desired. The doctor scheduled a procedure but asked that I have an ultrasound first. Praise God we went for that ultrasound...a small beating heart prevented that very procedure. I am so thankful to be Emily's mommy.

I am thankful. I am thankful for our losses, for in those losses we were guided back to the heart of the matter, that I might be a mother once again. And again, the desires of my heart were granted. A beautiful baby girl with almond shaped eyes and an amazingly strong will. I am thankful to be Hannah's mommy.

I am thankful. I am thankful for the example my mother set for me. Her unconditional love, which she still demonstrates each and every day reminds me of the tenderness and longevity of motherhood. I love you.

I am thankful. I am thankful that my husband supports me in mothering our children. We agree that our steps are beautifully numbered as we parent our children. We see the miracle that is the gift of our girls and prayerfully consider all things where Emily and Hannah are concerned.

I am thankful. I am thankful the Lord trusted me with these precious children.

Wishing all of you mommies, mommy-to-bes, grandmommies, aunts, friends and all women who love on a special child in their life a very Happy Mother's Day.

When We Fall Down...

2009-04-18T17:05:00.000-07:00
"Our steps are made firm by the Lord, when He delights in our way, though we stumble, we shall not fall headlong, for the Lord holds us up by the hand." Psalm 37:23

Several weeks ago, Miss Em was headed out on a field trip to the insectarium. Yes, the bug house. I mean what more fun could be had by a giggly group of first graders? She was excited, happy and even, might I say, giddy. It was raining, but she looked so sweet in an adorable blouse my mom had gotten for her and a cute pair of capris that have hung several years waiting to be the right size for her.

We were on time. Hannah was babbling about the rain and old men and bumping heads, and such. Em had one thing on her mind...getting to the bugs. Now, I know the picture I posted would assume that Emily is graceful as a swan and just as ladylike as she can be. Not so this morning. As we headed up the walkway for school, I warned Emily three separate times that the ground was slick and to please stop running. Well, as we can all figure by this point, she skidded, her bookbag fell to her side tripping her and down she went, on her belly, flat...in a huge puddle.

Now, I had a choice. I felt my face redden with anger while my heart ached for her. I could tell by the look on her face, she was not only sorry, but she was okay and not injured, with the possible exception of her ego and her heart. And I prayed..."Lord, please give me the right words. Please do not let me blow it." And He spoke to me in that moment, rain pelting our heads, Hannah gloating with joy, "OOOOOOOhhhh, Emmy is in trouble, you mad mom? You really mad at Emmy?"

No.

How many times have I fallen? I mean really fallen. How many times has He issued a warning, maybe even three, and yet, my own will got in the way? How many times have any of us fallen from grace? Far too many to record. And in this season so close to Easter, I am reminded that it is only in the sacrifice made for my flawed human self by the King of all Kings, that I am pulled up from the ground, shaken yet renewed just as quickly as my tumble occurred. The Bible assures us that He, Himself, holds out His hand to us.

And so, I extended my hand to her, we marched into school with our heads held high, Em dripping all the way:) She sat down in class and had snack with her friends while they waited for the bus...

and I?

Of course, I ran home quick as can be. I retrieved another pair of pants, floored it back to school, parked illegally, begged the Assistant Principal to let me back in, changed Emily in the nearest bathroom, kissed her little red head and told her to have a super day with her friends and the bugs.

The lesson from this seemingly normal, rainy morning has proven to be extraordinary in resonating the last few weeks. Time and time again, the visual of my sweet girl losing her step has reminded me of my need for His grace and mercy. It has helped me fall headlong into this verse, accepting His hand when I stumble and extending my own, in times I thought I could not.

Because It Makes Us Smile!

2009-04-13T19:05:00.000-07:00
We all have a favorite song. A lullaby. A work-out tune. The pure musicality of our song makes us happy and perhaps the words bear special meaning. Well, Hannah's favorite song does have special meaning...meaning she probably won't even understand for quite sometime. But, for us to hear this little cutie belt out her lovesong is sheer joy. So, as promised....

(You may need to quiet my music at the bottom...the current song allows some lead time, so it may not interfere)

Happy Easter!

2009-04-11T21:06:00.000-07:00
"But the angel said to the women, "Do not be afraid; I know that you are looking for Jesus who was crucified. He is not here, for He has been raised, as He said. Come, see the place where He lay. Then go quickly and tell His disciples, 'He has been raised from the dead, and indeed is going ahead of you to Galilee; there you will see Him. This is my message for you."
Matthew 28:5-7

But He rose on Easter morn
The battle He had won
Angels rolled the stone away
His work on Earth was done
Sing the glory of Christ on high
In Heaven He shall reign, until the day He comes to earth again...

The most meaningful of all Christian celebrations, blessings to you and your family for a wonderful Easter.

Bringing Hannah Home

2009-04-04T20:11:00.000-07:00
Our delivery room was a crowded, noisy airport terminal. It was dark, not nighttime dark...rather, lack of appropriate lighting dark and the cold from outside seeped through the open doorways. For a brief time, Emily hopped on and off the pad that opened the automatic door, playing, waiting. She held up the sign. For a long time, she held it high in the air, putting it down only to inquire if it was time yet.

We looked like any other family awaiting returning members; except, we were waiting to meet our newest member. Rob had already enjoyed her giggles and sweetness for about nine days and I was more than ready to catch up. Emily nervously paced and jumped, she was beyond excited for her daddy to be home and she found herself contemplative about her raven-haired counterpart, whom she would be welcoming.

And then, we saw them, quite a distance away, but close enough for us to lock eyes. My first thought was, "She is so tiny!" And they looked so incredibly great. We mark these anniversaries in celebration. A celebration of the gift God showered on our family. We do not take lightly the fact that Emily was a part of every aspect of the adoption. Her little signature accompanied ours on our Adoption Letter and was notarized and sealed for all time. Her joy and enthusiasm at the airport were contagious and really sweet. Her help with every moment of Hannah's transition was critical.

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Today was a wonderful day. Though the weather was cold for April, it reminds me of the day we brought Hannah home. Cold, damp, but simply perfect:) We went this morning to help dear friends and my parents. They run a mission and their goal this morning was Easter baskets and lots of them! The girls counted out jellybeans and carefully tucked them into eggs. They stuffed grass-filled baskets with toys and the sweet goodness of chocolate crosses. They watched their Nan wrap beautiful ribbons on the baskets knowing full-well their intent was not to receive rather to give back. And I thought about Hannah...our deepest desire to share our lives with yet another child. To give love away...the irony of parenthood. We want so badly to be "enough", to teach them well, to watch them emerge. And yes, that happens but somewhere along the way, we see love in a whole new light through the hearts of our children. And we are changed, forever.

The timid child who was placed in my arms two years ago today is a shadow of the child she has become. With her bossy, commanding presence and her smile bright with dimples (like her daddy), Hannah has rocked our world. She absolutely adores her Dora pillow and a popsicle before bed every night. She dresses herself and loves jewelry. She wants to do all things "Emily" and is convinced that she is one of the big girls:) She lets us know when we are going the wrong way and she offers hugs and kisses when we are hurt or sad. She competes with all of us to get her turn to pray and she tells anyone who will listen that, "She's got Jesus." She has plenty of moments that cause us to wonder if it is just her personality or is that truly a result of the first ten months of her life. Regardless, we don't care about the "whys" nearly as much as we care about the "nows". Now, she will know love, always and unconditionally. Now, she will have boundaries. Now, she will have her own things, but will learn how to give to others. Now, is the time to nurture her, enjoy her and giggle with her. Now, is the time to see the world through her heart.

So, though we choose to remember and to celebrate the specialness of those initial days, we forge ahead joyfully. We rejoice in who she is now, this moment... knowing that when we re-visit this time next year, there will be new things to capture the essence of Hannah.

Travel Group Reunion!

2009-04-01T18:37:00.000-07:00
"They that wait upon the Lord shall renew their strength...they shall mount up with wings as eagles." Isaiah 40:31

When a family sets off into the adoption journey there are many unknowns. How long will it take? What does my baby look like? Will I be enough? Who will the Lord join us with that we might walk this walk together?

When I think about our travel group, I am reminded of how saddened I was to learn that we are very spread out...we span many miles. We have friends whose travel group members, literally, span exactly five square miles; Every family lives within one to two miles of one another. Our group, definitely not the case.

Not to despair though, somehow we do manage to keep our families connected. This weekend, we were blessed with the company of four of these families. An aside, Kim and Dave, we missed you and the peanuts terribly and cannot wait to be in your company again. Terry, Dale and Jenna, we remain in prayer for Terry at this time and will continue to do so until a clean bill of health is issued, we missed your presence.

It was really fun to watch the children enjoy one another this year, little girls and bigger siblings...they all got along so well. It is quite amazing how much these little cuties have grown and what a difference two years makes:) We waited collectively for our miracles...we grew our families collectively with little girls from the same province in China...we collectively share trials and tribulations all parents encounter and best of all, we collectively share the joy of our families in ways that only we can understand.

I am beyond thankful for these special relationships. I love these mommies and daddies and adore their children, all of them. I look forward to the time when we can all share the same space and in the meantime, we will assemble when and where possible and love on each other for a time.

Big girls loving little girls!

Emma and Emily

The whole wiggly bunch!

A bit blurry, but had to include these sweet little girls hugging away the day!

Who needs those pesky tables?

Our Flying Fish

Gorgeous Lyla!

Hannah and her mommy, just too pretty!

Another great mommy/daughter moment...what a beautiful pair! Lily and her mommy

See Everyone Next Year!

Reasons to Celebrate!

2009-03-23T08:54:00.000-07:00
Today marks two years since Rob and Uncle Jim hopped on a plane to Beijing. They were fortunate to be on a flight that took them clear over the North Pole, so it did make for a slightly shorter trip to China. Jim and Gerry sat with us in church on Sunday and I had to laugh as I heard Rob say, "Yeah, I really wanted to come home when I was in China, but I'd go back in a heart beat to bring home another one." Heh, heh, a little like childbirth, that pain really does go away:)

Emily's teacher is expecting her first child any day now. We had the honor of surprising her with a fabulous shower last Friday. The kids had a ball and she was truly blessed and surprised by the outpouring of love and well wishes for her expanding family. We are very grateful for you Mrs. Morrison. We will pray for you as you begin this new adventure and we are grateful to Mrs. D, who will take excellent care of your students as you enjoy your son.

Angels Walk Among Us

2009-03-18T19:01:00.000-07:00
"See, I am sending an angel ahead of you to guard you along the way and to bring you to the place I have prepared." Exodus 23:20

She is called "the stork". A professor in Beijing, Li Xinghong has a much higher calling. Though she teaches and shares her wealth of history, knowledge and experience, this is far from what makes her brilliant in the eyes of our family. A recent article stated that before families ever meet Li, she changes their lives forever. I could not agree more.

Li Xinghong is the facilitator for our adoption agency on the China end of things. When nerves plagued us about Rob travelling without me, when questions absolutely needed to be answered, when the staus and well-being of our daughter needed to be discussed, Li was a part of it. The first day Rob met Li, he felt a connection, a complete peace. That first weekend in Beijing, several travelers had the unique opportunity to sit into the wee hours of the night talking with Li. Rob was completely taken as she recounted major political times in China and bantered about Chinese culture and her views as she lives and works there. I know that evening changed Rob, softened him and educated him about issues he once doubted he would ever need to know about.

In so many ways, we have been blessed by the infamous red thread, but this red thread reminds us just how many details the Lord places Himself in to gain just the right result. Li is an integral part of the story that is Hannah. We are eternally grateful to her for countless reasons. Our agency assured us so many times that "our wonderful liason" would ensure the successful completion of our adoption. Their trust and devotion to Li is warranted, justified and completely heartfelt.

Our agency is sponsoring information meetings to answer questions and discuss International Adoption in the China program. The beauty of these most recent meetings are that Li is visiting to assist. We were blessed to be asked to speak at one of these meetings in our area. I had never met Li, nor had Emily, so for us, it was an especially tender encounter. Not to mention the reunion between Li, Rob and Hannah; it was fun to witness the mutual respect they share for one another.

Li and Emily were fast friends. Li was very taken with her red hair and sat with her the entire time. She remembered some very important details about Emily. We wondered, with all of the families she sees every year, if she would even remember Rob or Hannah. Not only did she remember, she anxiously wanted to reflect on memories from that trip and recalled details Rob had shared about us. Such a special woman, she called us "friends". A treasure of a friend and so much more, Li, we are so thankful for you.

And they lived happily ever after!

First Grade, First Grade

2009-03-09T20:02:00.000-07:00
First grade, first grade
It is cool
No better way to be in school
I will celebrate with my friend
I will celebrate til day's end
With a friend, til the end
I want to do it all again!

Very obviously, I am no Dr. Seuss! But, I remember first grade. I had an amazing teacher, her name was Mrs. Kley. She was very funny and do you know what I remember most? She made me feel loved. I was six, I knew I had the love of my family, but after the debacle we called kindergarten, I did not feel much trust for teachers. Mrs. Kley healed an assortment of hurts I endured at the hand of Mrs. Radbill, a teacher who had probably long overstayed her welcome.

Emily has a great teacher, a loving, prayerful teacher who accentuates the positive and works hard to extinguish any negatives. She is pregnant with her first child and we are busily planning some surprises for her:)

I thought I'd dedicate a post to first grade...it has been quite a year. A year filled with activities, awarenesses and altruism. I have been blessed to be part of all of these activities and I have to be honest, it is exciting to be able to see our child in her learning environment in addition to all the other areas we hang with her.

Parenting is hard. Some days I wish I could go back to the first grade where Dr. Seuss and a bologna and cheese sandwich cured the ills that swirled about us. As parents, we have to make the hard choices. We have to say "no" sometimes. We have to break their hearts sometimes or watch their hearts be broken (even harder), we have to be the adults, seek their best interest, share their joys and find the joys when their little hearts and heads are too in-the-moment to "see it". We are responsible for these beautiful creatures, we need to do our best to keep them healthy in mind, body and soul. We need to grow our children spiritually and grow ourselves spiritually that we might be an example to our little ones. We need to help them develop healthy relationships and pray for their friends and even for their spouses (many, many years down the road:)

As a parent, I am thankful for the opportunities to meet other parents. I take this responsibility with the seriousness that God issued it to me. For all the years I prayed to be a mother, I am thankful every single day for the manner in which God allowed me this gift. And it occurs to me that my heavenly Father approaches me in this very same way. He parents us and when I think of the love I have for my children, it is overwhelming to think of how BIG His love really is for us.

So, take this moment of Hundredth day, Snow days and Seussical celebration to go back to that time when you were six. It will refresh you, renew your spirit and help you as you make the big choices today. Whatever parenting point you are in today, you are not alone. We walk this line together, prayerfully and with the love of Him who loved us first. Oh, to be six again!

Celebrating 100th Day!

Threading 100 Fruit Loops - the sheer joy of it

Emily and her sweet friend Sarah

It's never a party until the cake arrives!! (Okay, that's my rule:)

Even Hannah loves a good snow day!

Our little redhead mid snowball fight!

Played all day...

Dr. Seuss Day began with the reading (and acting out of) The Cat in the Hat

There were green eggs and ham and plenty o' pink ink!

Em's friend Dieter, is he cute or what?

The Beat Goes On

2009-02-26T19:48:00.000-08:00

Music moves me. I don't like stillness, I feel the rhythm and melody in every step of this thing called life. I hum a lot. I dance a lot. Our children love to dance. And yet, lately, in this new year that I simply could not wait to turn the calendar to, I cannot find the beat. The dance I am dancing at this time feels awkward, out of time... with many missteps.

Rob and I attended our third funeral this year, yesterday. Our sister in law lost her father this past weekend. In her words, he was a kind and gentle man. He absolutely was. He had struggled for some time with illness, and as much as I like to say that he is whole and healed, I also grapple with the reality that it is never the right time to lose someone we love.

My nephew is learning this lesson all too well, as he discovered yesterday that a dear friend of his, only nineteen years old had died. A mentor and friend to my sweet nephew, he met this young man through the band, through music. And the beat goes on...it often amazes me that in the midst of our sorrow, in hard times and struggles, the dance continues. The music plays and we partner with others to sway and move to the rhythm of life. Up and down, loud and soft, life swirls around us in a cacophony of sound and energy. And even when the air around us feels thick with trouble, the beauty of notes pulled together in just the right way can shift our movements, our hearts, our lives.

Psalm 30:11 says, "You have turned my mourning into dancing, you have taken off my sackcloth and clothed me in joy, so that my soul may praise you and not be silent."

We can almost hear the music speed up, lighter, simpler; perfect for rejoicing, celebrating. Truly, there are still celebrations to be had, joy to be shared.

Gwen accounts this week of Maggie's first surgery. How beautiful the spirit of this little girl and her family; The faith and trust they so eagerly offer to others, the healing that is about to occur in Maggie's life, in more ways than we could possibly comprehend. In a time that is filled with uncertainty and sadnesses, here glimmers the hope and encouragement that God has so readily promised. Kimberley was able to announce that they have found Sophia! Both Gwen and Kimberley, women who possess servant's hearts in all that they do, are dancing at this very moment, thankful for their daughters, seeking guidance for their futures. I encourage you to encourage them as they see God's plan unfolding and their dance taking shape.

So many have inquired about my dad, thank you. We are blessed that he is feeling well, back to work and finding his groove once again. He stopped today on his way to work. Though it was a busy morning and I was anxiously packing lunches, trying to feather some mascara onto my virtually nonexistant lashes and finding a plethora of necessary items to place on our feet, I was so grateful. Grateful that he danced into my kitchen, loved on my children and placed yet another bar of notes into an already brimming composition.

I have included pictures in this post of Emily at one of her dance classes. We are invited once a year to sit and visit in her classes, it is open forum for the mamrazzi. The lighting is terrible, the room is tiny and quite congested with all of us moms in there snapping away. But, I must confess, I am continually amazed by our fluid redhead, who sparkles and shines as she twirls and jumps, sashays and glides, finding her own rhythm and meter. Most days if you asked me who it is that has taught me the most, despite my years of formal training; it is unequivocally my Heavenly Father, who has most powerfully influenced the direction in which I dance. He blessed me with two tiny dancers, who like the music I love, stir my very soul.

My Dad

2009-02-17T19:53:00.000-08:00

My dad. My hero.

Sunday, after church, my dad began to complain that his belly did not feel right. He was not nauseous, but felt full. The pain was high on his middle. We assumed since the stomach virus is rampant, he was yet another victim. We were wrong.

After leaving lunch early, completely out of character for my foodie father, he and my mom would make the drive to the hospital. Thank goodness they did. My father's appendix was diseased and leaking. He was operated on Sunday night. I was with my girlfriends when my mom called. They just took him. I was there in minutes.

We sat together, it was quiet...empty...late. We chatted and when we weren't chatting, I was thinking. I was thinking of all the good things I had to think about when it comes to my dad. A man of pure goodness, he is the man anyone would want for their daddy.

He and my mother have taught us responsibility not by what they say, but how they live.
He taught me early to tithe to the church.
He taught me that real men honor their wives in every possible way.
And their daughters too.
He taught me that sometimes holding down several jobs at a time is essential to providing for your family.
He holds education in high esteem and at the beautiful age of 69 commits himself to learning every single day.
He is the smartest man I have ever known.
He can make things work.
He still works full time and he is good at it.
He has never let me down, not once. EVER.
He loved God from early on and when his parents didn't take him to church he found people who would.
He is a crier. His heart is bigger than he is.
His children and grandchildren rock his world.
My brother and I are better people because he is our father.
I may be the apple of his eye, but I share that title with one awesome brother and his five amazing grandchildren.
He believes in me even when I don't believe in myself.
I still call him Daddy...

The doctor emerged...Everything went well. Due to certain circumstances, they used a longer procedure but the surgeon hoped it would mean a speedier recovery. As they took him to the OR, he apologized to the staff they called in, he was sorry he had taken them away from their families. That is my dad.

He was groggy next I saw him, aggitated and slightly confused. I held his hand and told him that I love him. His response time was rather slow but he managed to croak "I love you too".

I know Dad. I have never been more sure of anything than I am of the love of my parents.

"Honor your father and your mother, as the Lord, your God commanded you, so that your days may be long and that it may go well with you in the land that the Lord, your God is giving you." Deuteronomy 5:16

Love Amazing, Love Divine

2009-02-13T07:54:00.000-08:00
Has it really been almost two weeks since my last post?

I have so many items to post right now, that the thought of breaking it down into chunks is overwhelming. So, in honor of Valentines Day, I thought it may be nice to post some of the love we have been feeling here lately.

We celebrated Rob's birthday. We went to a local restaurant and then went back to Grammy and Pop Pop's house for dessert. It was a perfect way for Rob to begin a new year. We love Daddy!

We had the honor of going into Emily's classroom to celebrate Chinese New Year. Even one of Emily's dearest friends was permitted to leave her classroom and come in to join us. We read a story, answered questions, colored dragon fans and ate Moon Cookies. The kids really enjoyed it and Emily was so happy to talk to her classmates about why China is special for our family. We spoke of how we all see the same moon and serve the same God. No love finer than that!
"...as far as east is from the west, so far he removes our transgressions from us." Psalm 103:12

Unfortunately, we also attended a funeral. Perhaps one of the largest and most ceremonial funerals our county has ever seen, it was a beautiful celebration of a life well lived. We waited in line a very long time the evening of the viewing. We had arrived early to see Chris brought in on a horse drawn carriage. The streets were crowded and many, many people were there to support the family of this fallen officer. Two of Chris' brother in laws offered that we might move up toward the front to see their family. We opted to stay right where we were. That room was filled with compassion and love. We heard stories of amazing things he had done as a police officer. We heard people speak about his devotion to his wife and children. We shared some of our own fondest memories of Chris' wife and her family growing up. And even more beautiful than all of that, we met people in that line who had never met Chris Jones. They felt a kindred spirit to his vocation or just community outpouring, whatever inspired them to attend and stand in line two, three hours at a time, it was lovely. We were blessed by that experience.
Rest in Peace, Chris. Well done, good and faithful servant.
Last weekend, we had the distinct pleasure and priviledge to celebrate our friend, Jim. His wife Sharon, a sister in the Lord and and a sister in my life, blessed her husband with a surprise. She hosted a fete to celebrate Jim's 45th birthday and his impending trip to Israel. It was divine in every way that they are divine.

When Sharon and I began a friendship last year, I would have never imagined how the Lord would weave His plan into the fabric of our lives. Our daughters are friends, which is precious, but our families are family which is a treasure. Jim has long dreamed of taking a trip to the Holy Land to walk where Jesus walked. Jim and Sharon live their entire life in obedience and accordance to God's will. Whether it is lifting loved ones in prayer, opening their home for fellowship, or finding friends in the company of complete strangers, this family is carrying the word of our Lord everywhere they go.

The service staff at the party made comment of how much love was in that room and I concur. Jim is a special, special man. As iron sharpens iron, Jim takes this verse seriously and is a true brother to his friends. He cares. Sharon cares. Their children care. Hearing their lifelong friends speak so eloquently about Jim and his family and the ways they have touched lives was moving on every level. Friends like this are a gift from God. How blessed we are to have been in their company to have had the joy of being part of those moments. We look forward to a lifetime of loving one another. (Feel welcome to visit Sharon's blog to see all the special touches she prayerfully added to make this occasion unique and special)

"Iron sharpens iron, and one man sharpens another." Proverbs 27:17

We Heart Our Hannahversaries

2009-02-01T00:00:00.000-08:00
With Chinese New Year in full swing and Valentine's Day right around the corner, we have yet another celebration to relish.

No, not the Super Bowl.

This celebration remembers one little face. A little round face atop a cheery yellow sweater. The face of an angel. I gasped when I saw her...I knew she was our daughter. You can revisit the day of our referral here.

Today marks two years...two amazing years since we caught our first glimpse of our little Jiangxi girl. With just the right blend of sweet and sassy, Hannah is a precious gift. My heart still swells with that initial joy. Each time she kisses my face or leans in to whisper, "I love you, Mommy." She hunches in her seat every morning muttering, "I miss her already." as Emily jumps from her seat and bounds into school. She is fine mix of Daddy's girl and Mama's baby, and we are thankful beyond measure that the Lord, in His divine wisdom, knew to join East and West that a family may continue being built.

She sings "His Eye is on the Sparrow" at the top of her lungs...a symphony to us. So completely perfect...His eye was on our little sparrow, which gave us peace until we could reach her and gives us peace as we love her every single day. Today, we pray for all of the families enduring their wait, knowing that His eye is on their babies also. We look forward to each new referral remembering with misty eyes the range of emotions that pour over mommies and daddies who wait to see that face, to hold their children. East meets West...hearts unite.

Yes, we heart our Hannahversaries...and will forevermore.

Thankful Thursday

2009-01-29T17:06:00.000-08:00

"Blessed is the man whose strength is in You." Psalm 84:5

Tomorrow is my husband's 41st birthday. I am thankful for him. I have no flowery words or long dissertation for this event. I love him, simple as that. Even with flaws and imperfections, we see the beauty in each other. I am thankful for him. For whatever reason, we complete one another and I would not want to face this world without him.

Today a dear, dear friend of Rob's family was killed in the line of duty. Chris, a police officer, was a dedicated public servant. He had a wicked sense of humor and an undying love for the woman he married seventeen years ago. Besides all of these things, he was a father, a devoted, hard-working father who loved his babies. 16, 13 and 12, his children will now go on without his physical presence. His spouse, Suzanne, a beautiful wife and mother who adores her husband and her children with all of herself is left to pick up the pieces. She is strong, she will do just that... but with a broken heart. Today, of all days, I am thankful for my husband. Our prayers and love extend to Suzanne, their children, their families and a community devastated with the loss of one of their own, during a routine traffic stop.

Life is fragile.
Rob, in case I haven't told you lately, I love you. I am so thankful for you.

Gung Hay Fat Choy

2009-01-26T09:16:00.001-08:00

Yes, it is that time of year again. Seems hard to believe that Chinese New Year is upon us again. An especially tender time of the year, we received our referral for Hannah on February 1, 2007. It feels only fitting it is a season of celebration.

Monday we kicked off the Chinese New Year. Both girls were blessed with new fans and panda kaleidoscopes. They love them. Next Monday, we will be visiting Emily's classroom to share some special time with them.

Happy Chinese New Year to you all!

Save Your Napkin

2009-01-20T20:53:00.001-08:00

Children are a heritage of the LORD... – Psalm 127:3

The girls had finished their breakfast. I was reciting to Emily what was in her lunchbox and which item she would probably enjoy for snacktime. As I spoke, I gently folded her napkin and then reached for the Sharp*ie marker to write her a note. She stopped me.

"Mommy, ummm can you please only send a napkin once or twice a week?"

Such an interesting request. Were other kids making fun of her mommy-drawn smiley faces and love notes? Do they have napkins on the table already? Was she just not very messy and threw them away mindlessly?

She went on to explain that like I, collecting and hoarding every drawing, note and piece of art she has done since birth, she keeps these napkins. Like old friends or cherished treasures, she said they are my works of art and she wanted to keep each one. She said I'd need to slow down with them because her pencil box no longer closes, that is where she stashes them. Miss Emily has every single one.

I immediately recalled a day last year when her teacher sent home in a baggie marked "IMPORTANT", a napkin. On that napkin, Emily had drawn a smiley face and written the words, "You are spechal, I love you Mommy." Her teacher, fully aware of the joy of Mommylove, snatched up that napkin and sent it home, with a note..."I noticed Emily do this today, definitely a keeper, perhaps even framable:)"

I tried not to scare her with the tears that welled up in my eyes, they were joyful ones, not sad ones. Who is this wonderful child? If we ever wonder what it is our child sees; if we ever wondered if they will imitate us or do as we do, wonder no more. They will . Though I fear she will imitate the times when I am a bad example, Emily proved to me that she sees and better yet, "gets" the finer, less bold demonstrations of love that are done every single day.

I will never look at a napkin the same. Once just a tool to simply clean up a mess, I now see napkins in a different light. The potential of each napkin was infinitely related to what we did with it when passing it along to one another. Maybe it does help to clean me up, in ways I never imagined.

The Mayor

2009-01-19T20:31:00.000-08:00

As we embark today on a new administration of government leaders, I am mindful we need to be praying for our leadership. As much as I would have had fears either way the election was resolved, my conservative roots have had their ego bruised, but certainly not beaten. So, I am committing myself to prayer for the state of our nation.

On the homefront, we have our own small, raven-haired cutie-pie to contend with. Somehow, somewhere during the translation in China, Hannah's caregivers referred to her as "The Mayor". Her paperwork also referenced her mayoral attributes. I have to admit, at first we weren't quite sure which qualities were most administrative about our little lovely. But as we see Hannah bloom and grow, we see...

the glorious trait of tenacity
(she is capable of making a demand hundreds of times if necessary)

the miracle of humor and laughter
(no one sings nursery rhymes the way she does)

the advanced artform that is negotiation
("...pleeeeeeeeaaaaaaaase, I clean up mine own mess")

the gift that is compassion and passion
("I love my mommy, daddy and Emmy and don't forbet God, oh yeah and Jesus too")

the amazingness of problem solving far beyond her little years
(How many chairs does it take to get to the popsicles at the tippy top of the freezer?)

the strength that can only come from the God we love
("I am stronger willed than you are Mom")

the remarkable ability to tell anyone and everyone "NO!"
(Oh yeah, you have been there!)

the gift of encouragement
("Wow, Mommy, you vaccuum very much good")

the gift of public speaking
(very loud and even a bit inappropriate, at times)

the desire to help her fellow man
(this includes Mommy:)

the love of the finer things in life
(girlfriend loves her some bling!)

As we approach the two year anniversary of Hannah's referral, I get emotional thinking about the time when I wondered what her very eyes looked like. Now, I gaze into them sure of what I did not know then. The mayor brings us joy we could not have imagined. Her sense of self is secure. She knows who her family is. I marvel at the process that is parenthood. Both of our children, I can easily say, I would have chosen, had God not been so gracious in sending them to us. I look at Hannah's future, bright with the promise of all of these gifts and thank God that she possesses each and every one.

A Time for Prayer

2009-01-13T19:41:00.000-08:00
When I began this blog many, many posts ago, it was an outlet for me, a connection to others and somewhat adoption related. I wanted a blog so that I might remain connected to the many friends in this world whom we have met or established relationships with as a result of Hannah's adoption. Then, there were others, other moms, other Christian women, old friends, new friends, family members...and it became more than just a blog, it became part of our world.

I like, no... I love to write. I enjoy it. I dream of writing a book and I dream of writing devotionals. I dream of being a vehicle that God will use. I pray about how my life will be used and which ways I can best serve while I wait on the Lord to guide my steps.

There is a reason that I keep a running prayer list at the sidebar of our blog. I believe in the power of prayer. Every now and again, I stop and highlight some of those requests that touch my heart and that I feel require that extra measure of time well spent on our knees for our brothers and sisters.

Please lift this family

Their daughter, Abby, adopted at six months in Guatemala, was diagnosed this past summer with Leukemia. She is four years old. The blow of the diagnosis was made more complicated by news just before Christmas that Abby has a biological defect that makes her chances of healing less likely. This sweet little girl is struggling and her family is struggling. Please join me in praying for them as Abby enters the most difficult phase of her treatment. If you click on the Abby's name in red, it does link to their family blog and you can read more about beautiful Abby.

My dear friend Leslie, her father has lost his battle here on earth and has gone home to be with the Lord. Their family would be blessed being covered in prayer at this most difficult time.
Linn and her family need our prayers. Their home burned to the ground. Though I am not certain, I believe they lost everything. They are a God-loving family who have inspired many with their devotion to adoption and building their family this way. My own grandmother died in a house fire, so this particular story makes my heart leap because no one was injured, but weep because I recognize the pain of losing history.
Of course there are many listed in the sidebar, I do try to keep them updated and usually do not remove a request unless a reader requests me to. If you feel led to pray for these special people, please do so.

All Aboard!

2009-01-09T07:10:00.000-08:00

Peanut sat on a railroad track

His heart was all a flutter

Choo Choo Train come around the bend

Toot Toot Peanut Butter!

My dad used to sing this little song and his dad before that. How many generations back, I do not know, but it is a sweet memory and now, one shared with our children. We all love a good train ride and so, when our schedules permitted, we headed off to the country for Hannah's first ride on the Strasburg rails.

The scenery was beautiful. Farms, farms and more farms. I love to see all the wash hung out and blowing in the breeze. It is a primarily Amish community and I have commented in the past about the simplicity and the beauty in that. Peaceful.

The cars were decorated for the holidays, which I love. Even the burning stoves and lanterns had greens on them.

The conductor mugged for the camera (I shot this out the train window as he was boarding other guests). A gentleman, through and through, he shook hands and helped ladies to their seats. He bent down to hug one little boy and the little boy squealed with such joy that the conductor HUGGED HIM!

Got our Tickets!! Thanks Pop!

Emily boarding the train

Showing her little sister other guests through the window

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One happy little rail rider!!

Ready to go! Hannah was so incredibly excited she...

fell sound asleep! The swaying of the car put her right out:)

Em enjoyed the entire ride, her favorite part is the ghost whistle, because there is such an expanse of land, when the whistle blows, it echoes in the valley and so we opened the windows and the kids were thrilled to hear the whistle back:)

TOOT TOOT!

Shine in 2009!

2009-01-05T11:06:00.000-08:00

Happy 2009!!

Rob and I were engaged on New Year's Eve eight years ago. I had just moved into a teeny tiny apartment and we had spent the entire day moving and CLEANING. The previous renter stated the apartment was in mint condition...maybe a mint that had fallen on the ground, been trampled and stuck to the bottom of one's shoe, but certainly not the mint we had envisioned! At the end of the day, in my finest sweats, hair stuck to my face and dirt from head to toe, Rob asked me to be his wife. I am certain I was the picture of loveliness:) At least he thought so. We were married the following August.

It is a happy memory and so we have always stuck close to home for New Years. In the past few years, we have hosted my folks for dinner. The girls chose to wear their shiny dresses (Hannah says they are the New Year dresses!) and the movie of choice was Kit Kittredge. The girls put on a puppet show (entertainment:) and I made some pretty amazing lobster tails (if I do say so myself).

We do not make resolutions; but, we do count the blessings in our lives. Though not a bad year, 2008 was a weird year and we are prayerful for increased blessings in 2009. One of the best New Year's celebrations we have ever had, we feel it is a good start to the promise of the next 360 days.

The photos are painfully out of focus, I was cooking and cleaning up and shooting as I went about my business, so they are certainly not the finest specimens, but the subject matter is pretty great:)

Some Christmas Memories

2008-12-30T20:31:00.000-08:00
To be honest, it all feels like a blur. I wanted to post some memories though because if this remains our scrapbook, I wanted to save the moment, so we won't forget.

Emily was not feeling well and Hannah was not quite herself either, so we kept everything light. Our birthday cake this year was an Angelfood cake. Emily admired it stating, "Well, it's only fitting:)" Christmas Eve was peaceful, minus the frenetics of getting many places and to some degree that brought us all into Christmas with a real reverence.

I had mentioned gifts the girls made for Daddy. Rob is a contractor. He specializes in bathrooms and kitchens. Most days he comes home with pockets full of hardware of one sort or another. We saw a cute pattern in a magazine, (cannot remember which one now) for a "Catch-it" box. The girls picked out an unfinished box. We painted it red (Dad's favorite color) and then added several coats of clear coat to seal it. Once dry, we applied clear glue and set all of the hardware (they LOVED this part!) They even found a giant bolt to place in the center for a handle. Now, all his knick-knacks can be transferred to his box before his clohes hit the hamper - everyone is happy:)

Christmas morning, the girls were up early and ready to open gifts. Emily was quieter than usual and had to take some breaks, but that didn't stop her from mugging for the camera, just a little. Hannah loved every blessed moment. She loved tearing off the wrapping paper and was enamoured with each gift, one at a time. She even enjoyed watching Emily and paused often to say "Oooh and Ahhhh".

My father's birthday is the day after Christmas and though Emily was still on the mend, we did get out to visit that night. My family, always pretty laid back and relaxed, we really enjoyed one another.

"That we may live peaceful and quiet lives in all godliness and holiness. This is good and pleases God our Savior..." 1 Timothy 2:2-3